To think DH is a nob

[Ovladie]

Can you tell me if AIBU or if DH is being an nob please.

Every other Sunday I go to the pub quiz with my friends. I get ready at 5pm and go to pick up my friend. DH looks after DD age 6. Before I go I iron her uniform and do her homework with her (school sends a spelling, reading, writing task home every Friday to do for Monday).

Every time DH asks what’s for DD’s tea? I say I don’t know, it’s your night to look after her, I’m busy having a shower. There’s dried pasta, tomatoes, cheese, bread, ham, broccoli, various other ingredients. So then he starts squealing well maybe you should do some DIY (or gardening, or washing the car, or whatever he’s been doing that day) and then I’ll handle DD’s dinner.

AIBU for not feeding her? For context we both work, I’ve cooked for the last 13 nights and this is the only time I go out.

Yes, he's a nob.

YANBU! He's a useless nob.

You are correct, he’s a nob

Well surely he’s planning on sorting himself some food out if you’re out of the house, so why is it so hard for him to figure out some for his child too? She’s 6 - it’s not like she’s going to be demanding anything ridiculous!

He's not a nob (posh person), he's a knob.

Is he this ridiculous the rest of the time, or just when you are going out?

Great time for Dad and daughter to cook dinner and have quality together!

Don’t see his issue

I still enjoy doing this and my DD is 21!

Did you really have to ask?

He orders a kebab for himself. He’s annoyed he has to cook for DD. Wants me to have laid something out so he doesn’t have to use his brain. I can’t feed her before I get ready because it’s too early.

He knows when it’s his turn, it’s in the calendar and I remind him. I’ve done my bit with her homework and stuff, he never does any of that.

He's a knob.

DIY jobs have to be done ONCE - dinner has to be done every fucking day.

I would absolutely not stay with a man who behaves like that....

He’s a knob. My DP is not the father of my children but if I’m late home or going out he will always cook them dinner AND he decides what to cook all by himself.

Your mistake was saying he was looking after dd... He is being a parent... Not a biggie...
Imo start leaving at 5pm and get ready at a friend's house.. He is abusing you via your dd... His intention is for you to quit quiz night as it isn't worth the grief..
Ime.

Yes because he’s saying I’m being selfish. Because he’s done the garden or emulsioned the stairs or whatever, and now he has to make DD’s tea, and I haven’t made a plan or told him what to make.

I haven’t been having a jolly day either. I flex my hours so he can work full time and I can pick up DD, so I worked my remaining hours this afternoon.

How on earth does this man manage to hold down a job if he can’t manage to feed a 6 year old once a fortnight? And mowing the lawn or washing the car once a week isn’t so taxing you can’t rustle up a bowl of pasta.

Split the cooking 50/50 so he can practice using his brain more. He's a nob.

Thank you.

He finds jobs every weekend. Wash the car, mow the lawn, paint the ceiling, fix something, put up a shelf. I’m not saying he does nothing. But hes going on ridiculous because I’ve left him to decide for himself what to make for tea.

He's a dickhead. He thinks cooking, cleaning, laundry, homework ect are your job and his are washing the cars, taking out the bins and mowing the lawn. You know the jobs that get fine once in a blue moon rather than every day. Tell him to fix up. Maybe reconsider the disruption of labour so he does more. Ultimately, your jobs will cost more to outsource than his.

he's a knobbly knob

Knob with a capital K! I

Looks like OPs husband has now voted on the thread.

I don’t mind cooking. I flex my hours to pick up DD and finish my work on evenings and weekends. If we waited till he got home to cook we’d never get fed. I can cook before he even leaves work. But it’s like once a fortnight he has to use his brain and cook from ingredients that I’ve already bought. And apparently I’m selfish. Thanks for the feedback, I thought it was me.

I am lying on the sofa whilst dh makes our tea. I don’t get this at all.

Well, if he's done all that this week-end, when he asked me what was for dd dinner i'd have said "just do some pasta, you''ve been busy with blah blah blah today"