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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU - Friend has 'stolen' party idea

592 replies

Homer28 · 12/03/2025 12:42

Hi,
As a family we often go to an adventure centre/party place around 75 mins drive from our home town so not local and never been invited to a party there before. Last year we did a party there at the centres waterpark for my daughters 10th birthday.

This same venue, which throws excellent parties and has lots of party options from bowling to waterpark etc and also has an aerial assault course but it has an age/height limit. My daughter has said for a couple of years that when everyone is 10/11+ she will do a party there as its cool/scary.

This year in December (party isn't until June) she asked if she could have her party there in June. Her dad was concerned that in theory its a brilliant day out but that people may be afraid of the heights/parents may be hesitant and it could not be as exciting as shes thinks.
I text another parent of two of her friends for a second opinion and she thought it was a cool idea (wasn't aware this existed) and her kids would love to go!.

Cue this month when she tells me she is booking this for her daughters party in April. I gently suggested that the two girls having the same party might be an issue as its important at 10 to have the 'cool' party and they like to put an individual stamp on it and the parties will only be 8 weeks apart. She disagrees and thinks a party venue is open to all kids who wish to have their parties there.

I was pre empting the upset from my 10 year old who laments that shell be chastised by the class for 'copying' the first birthday girl and it takes the shine off her idea which has been brewing for a while.

AIBU to be annoyed?

YABU - You don't own a party idea!
YANBU - Its not cool to hear an idea from a friend and pip them to the post on it.

OP posts:
laura1085 · 12/03/2025 12:43

YABU

BIWI · 12/03/2025 12:44

Of course you’re being unreasonable!

Why not frame it to your daughter as her having the chance to go to the event/centre twice?

RedToothBrush · 12/03/2025 12:46

This is about you trying to win cool points rather than doing an experience your child will really enjoy.

SoAbsolutelyLonely · 12/03/2025 12:46

Book your daughters earlier then ?

PeppercornAnn · 12/03/2025 12:46

YABU, either your daughter gets to go twice - or she goes for this party and picks something different for hers and she has two different ‘cool’ experiences.

Ablondiebutagoody · 12/03/2025 12:47

Don't be ridiculous

ZookeeperSE · 12/03/2025 12:47

One of the most ridiculous things I’ve ever read on here. And it’s a crowded field.

WhatDoWeCallHim · 12/03/2025 12:47

Send the invitations out for yours early, I don't think it matters but I can see why it might to a ten year old accused of copying

richardosmanstrousers · 12/03/2025 12:48

I gently suggested that the two girls having the same party might be an issue as its important at 10 to have the 'cool' party and they like to put an individual stamp on it and the parties will only be 8 weeks apart

You never?

I'm so embarrassed for you.

YABU

whyschoolwhy · 12/03/2025 12:48

I get why you're peeved but it's just one of those things. If the same thing happens again don't tell someone else about it first in case they decide to do it too.

LegoAirlines · 12/03/2025 12:48

its important at 10 to have the 'cool' party and they like to put an individual stamp on it

Wtf?

Moltenpink · 12/03/2025 12:48

Wow I’m surprised at the responses so far. I’d be fuming!

whyschoolwhy · 12/03/2025 12:49

WhatDoWeCallHim · 12/03/2025 12:47

Send the invitations out for yours early, I don't think it matters but I can see why it might to a ten year old accused of copying

Good idea but it will also look petty to the other mum.

Nottsandcrosses · 12/03/2025 12:50

I was pre empting the upset from my 10 year old who laments that shell be chastised by the class for 'copying' the first birthday girl and it takes the shine off her idea which has been brewing for a while.

And here lies why we have a generation of zero resilience and coping skills.

if it were my DD, and i have 3 all around your dds age id be telling her to get over herself and be grateful to be having a party that alot of childrens parents might not be able to afford.

Homer28 · 12/03/2025 12:50

Moltenpink · 12/03/2025 12:48

Wow I’m surprised at the responses so far. I’d be fuming!

Thanks, I wasn't sure if i was being unreasonable so glad of the different perspectives but definitely getting my arse handed to me in such a way that im starting to wonder if i am a solo mental case.

People are getting second hand embarrassment at my actions lol

OP posts:
BrieAndChilli · 12/03/2025 12:51

frame it differently - the first party will have all the kids 'scared' and not wanting to do it. Also some might not go if they dont like the sound of it. By the time your daughters party rolls around kids will be more confident and those that didnt go will probably want to go after hearing about it from the others.

Engineweld · 12/03/2025 12:53

WhatDoWeCallHim · 12/03/2025 12:47

Send the invitations out for yours early, I don't think it matters but I can see why it might to a ten year old accused of copying

Totally agree with this

Homer28 · 12/03/2025 12:53

Thanks for the responses everyone, very useful to be put into head wobbling territory.

My DD is actually not a nightmare spoiled brat and has been excited about reaching the age for this for a couple of years and 'showing it' to her friends.

I think i'm taking it a bit more to heart as she was disappointed to hear the party idea was essentially taken and someone else will be the one to introduce it to all her friends as it was my fault that I text someone else to share the idea.

Lesson learned to keep cards closer to the chest!

OP posts:
TeenLifeMum · 12/03/2025 12:54

My dc went to 4 climbing parties one year - loved each one and never did it occur to me anyone copied anyone, parents just chose an activity their dc would love. I think you need to lighten up.

minipie · 12/03/2025 12:54

YABU. I would be marginally annoyed but also recognise it was my own daft fault for mentioning it. Also there is always a risk that someone has the same idea as you anyway even if you haven’t mentioned it. I certainly wouldn’t expect the other mum to choose a different party idea.

Also YABU if you are expecting parents to drive 75 minutes to drop off, I hope you will be providing transport.

KidsDoBetter · 12/03/2025 12:54

Grow up

DecafDodger · 12/03/2025 12:55

YABU. We have a big laser tag place here and I swear every second birthay is held there, no problems whatsoever, nobody thinks second party was less cool than the first. I would think a parent was quite odd if they suggested I can't have my DC's party there in the spring because theirs want to go there in the summer.

crocheteveryday · 12/03/2025 12:56

My daughter is 10 and this wouldn't bother her at all. She and two of her friends had their parties at the same trampoline park because they enjoyed it so much - hers was the middle party of the three. Another two both did pottery painting. I've never heard anyone mention being upset about copying, they were just excited to go to the same place again because they knew it would be fun.

Jojimoji · 12/03/2025 12:56

Moltenpink · 12/03/2025 12:48

Wow I’m surprised at the responses so far. I’d be fuming!

Me too!
I'd be playing it down to my daughter, I wouldn't want her to give any headspace to " cool" or " uncool" parties.
But I would definitely be peeved about the mum sliding in there first.😂

Homer28 · 12/03/2025 12:56

minipie · 12/03/2025 12:54

YABU. I would be marginally annoyed but also recognise it was my own daft fault for mentioning it. Also there is always a risk that someone has the same idea as you anyway even if you haven’t mentioned it. I certainly wouldn’t expect the other mum to choose a different party idea.

Also YABU if you are expecting parents to drive 75 minutes to drop off, I hope you will be providing transport.

Yes, we took 2 cars for 8 kids when we did it last year.
Im daft but not that daft lol

OP posts: