AIBU - Friend has 'stolen' party idea

[Homer28]

Hi,
As a family we often go to an adventure centre/party place around 75 mins drive from our home town so not local and never been invited to a party there before. Last year we did a party there at the centres waterpark for my daughters 10th birthday.

This same venue, which throws excellent parties and has lots of party options from bowling to waterpark etc and also has an aerial assault course but it has an age/height limit. My daughter has said for a couple of years that when everyone is 10/11+ she will do a party there as its cool/scary.

This year in December (party isn't until June) she asked if she could have her party there in June. Her dad was concerned that in theory its a brilliant day out but that people may be afraid of the heights/parents may be hesitant and it could not be as exciting as shes thinks.
I text another parent of two of her friends for a second opinion and she thought it was a cool idea (wasn't aware this existed) and her kids would love to go!.

Cue this month when she tells me she is booking this for her daughters party in April. I gently suggested that the two girls having the same party might be an issue as its important at 10 to have the 'cool' party and they like to put an individual stamp on it and the parties will only be 8 weeks apart. She disagrees and thinks a party venue is open to all kids who wish to have their parties there.

I was pre empting the upset from my 10 year old who laments that shell be chastised by the class for 'copying' the first birthday girl and it takes the shine off her idea which has been brewing for a while.

AIBU to be annoyed?

YABU - You don't own a party idea!
YANBU - Its not cool to hear an idea from a friend and pip them to the post on it.

Ah it’s a shame the kids weren’t so keen. Hope you find somewhere your daughter loves. I’m well aware I go OTT but I always let mine pick whatever they fancy. This year one is having a mini spa thing at home then going to the theatre with friends and we have gone a bit nuts for the party bags which include matching dresses. I think it’s a super fun, unusual thing they will remember doing together. When we get the chance to do something like that for the kids, regardless if it’s free, expensive or in the middle, then we are always keen to go for it.

OP I know I have come to this really really late - I was browsing party threads lol
but really curious to know what party your DD ended up having? 🙃😃🙃😃🙃

I wondered when I got an email to say someone had commented on this thread 😅.
She just had a karaoke pizza party at home!

lol 😜
sounds cool. Bet they all loved it! 😊

I missed this thread first time around.

This is the absolute epitome of an old fashioned, mumsnet pile on. The vitriol! Good on you OP for fighting your corner and taking it on the chin.

Was your relationship with your friend ever the same after this? FWIW I think she behaved badly and can understand why you were hurt.

The thread was really therapeutic for me in a weird way. It gave me a fresh perspective that my friend seen it like the 70 odd percent that voted IWBU so it softened my stance towards her. It also was helpful to see people totally got my POV too and it was a ‘thing’.

We were quite close and I would say although we are on speaking terms now about secondary school choices (the girls are going to different schools) and other school related things, the friendship has never really recovered.

Honestly, OP, you are as mad as a box of particularly mad frogs, based on this thread.

A little extreme don’t you think?

Wow, what a fresh take on this scenario! I’m glad you didn’t think it was a waste of time posting it almost a year after I asked if I was being unreasonable.

I remember your thread OP! Unless you are in the thick of school playground politics it's hard to really understand how much this kind of thing stings. Your DDs party sounds fun and hope she had an enjoyable time. I have found after hosting lots of big and small parties that Dcs usually prefer the smaller parties at home with a few select friends. Hope she had a fab time.

I know this is old but I've read all OPs posts anyway and I'm in the YANBU camp - I'd be seething at this 🤣 Poor form from a friend even if not technically 'wrong'.

I think if I was the friend I'd have used it as an opportunity to teach my kid not to pinch ideas from people as it causes upset - let's think of our own good idea instead and you'll still get to do X thing at the other party.

Reminds me of a shopping trip I went on with a friend yonks ago, I found THE most beautiful pair of boots in the sale, raved over how much I loved them and were exactly my style etc but was gutted when they didn't have my size. But they did have my friends size and she bought them!! Fair enough I couldn't have them anyway but I didn't think it was pretty poor from a so called friend, especially when they weren't her style at all.

You’re the one who updated! Grow up, OP.

@Homer28 I have no idea what you did in a past life to deserve some of these responses. Fuckin hell!

YANBU in my humble opinion.

I actually answered a posters question about whether the friendship recovered.

I didn't post an update, this thread was resurrected by a different poster who was searching party ideas.

OP updated because people were asking her for updates. That is a very normal thing to do.

However, it's not normal to be this furious about complete strangers discussing last years children's party. Are you ok?

You ok, hun?

@MockOranges it's you who actually needs to grow up. OP kindly updated as she was asked by some posters and the thread resurrected by another poster! Are you on MN just to get a kick out of giving out put downs. Hope you feel better now. Maybe consider some therapy.