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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Finally snapped at Boyfriend’s crude comments

306 replies

PeachTea9 · 09/03/2025 17:55

I’m at my wits end with my boyfriend and need to vent!

For context, I’m 31 and he’s slightly younger at 28 and we’ve been together for just under a year.

He has started making increasingly crude comments and I am now getting the silent treatment for telling him to shut it and grow up earlier.

These only began a couple of months ago and started off fairly innocently by being a bit more ‘direct’ with compliments towards me which I didn’t mind to begin with.

This has now progressed to making comments publicly about people we either see out and about or people we know.

Examples:

-‘doesn’t she squash him when they have sex’ (a slightly larger lady compared to her partner - these are friends of mine)

-You could crack an egg with that (a woman we drove past walking home from the gym wearing flattering leggings)

-‘He must be hung like a horse as he’s a bit bloody dull isn’t he’ (after meeting a friend and her BF for the first time)

And the final straw which made me snap today, we drove past a lady on a horse and he said ‘I wouldn’t mind her riding me like that’ and I flipped.

I should have said something previously in hindsight as my anger was building up.

He said I need to lighten up and not be so prudish but for me, this has crossed a line. I said I’m a grown woman and this sort of talk just gives me the ick.

Do you think I overreacted?

OP posts:
Notimeforit · 09/03/2025 17:56

Well, you dump him don't you?

festivemouse · 09/03/2025 17:56

Personally, no. That's not a personality trait I'd find attractive! Sounds like that's his natural manner and he was on best behaviour earlier in the relationship. If it's a big deal to you, then I'd be ending it tbh, at 28 he's not going to change.

Hankunamatata · 09/03/2025 17:56

I shut my significant other down with - do I look like one of your sleezy work mates?

Msmoonpie · 09/03/2025 17:57

No I think he’s vile. It’s disgusting and disrespectful.

Gettingbysomehow · 09/03/2025 17:57

I'd be dumping him. Yuck.

JMSA · 09/03/2025 17:58

Yet another thread where I wonder why the fuck the woman is putting up with shit.

Simbaonedaythiswillallbeyours · 09/03/2025 17:58

He is disgusting. What a pig.

You need to throw this one back in the sea.

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 09/03/2025 17:59

Blimey, some blokes stay fourteen for a long time, don't they? A lifetime, seemingly in this case.

Topseyt123 · 09/03/2025 17:59

No, you didn't overreact. He is being lewd, unfunny and totally inappropriate. Twat!

Are you sure you aren't partnered with a teenager?

Garlicgarlicgarlic · 09/03/2025 18:00

A pervert, misogynist and does silent treatment.
There's no reason to date him.

PeachTea9 · 09/03/2025 18:00

I’m annoyed that I introduced him to my DD before Christmas and he has only started playing up in the weeks since then. I would never have introduced him otherwise!

OP posts:
Rainbowclouds101 · 09/03/2025 18:00

I hope this is the comment you need to hear

Give your head a wobble OP, I’m 31 as well and cannot imagine putting up with this man child. The fact you haven’t dumped him despite these comments does shock me a bit. You can still leave now with your dignity intact.

Hate to think what he says when you’re not around him!!

Rainbowclouds101 · 09/03/2025 18:01

PeachTea9 · 09/03/2025 18:00

I’m annoyed that I introduced him to my DD before Christmas and he has only started playing up in the weeks since then. I would never have introduced him otherwise!

Because he’s realised you’ve let your guard down and he feels comfortable enough to be his childish self

SoundedCat · 09/03/2025 18:01

I think he's hilarious (apart from the fat shaming comment which is just bloody rude and lacking in cleverness, or wit). I do like a bit of crude humour

Thedogscollar · 09/03/2025 18:02

Please make your update be he's history.
He has no respect for women or anyone by the sounds of it.
Sounds like a juvenile schoolboy you need a grownup.

Ameliepoulainandthephotobooth · 09/03/2025 18:03

SoundedCat · 09/03/2025 18:01

I think he's hilarious (apart from the fat shaming comment which is just bloody rude and lacking in cleverness, or wit). I do like a bit of crude humour

Are you a man?

SoundedCat · 09/03/2025 18:03

Ameliepoulainandthephotobooth · 09/03/2025 18:03

Are you a man?

No 🤣

sugarspiceandeverythingnice12 · 09/03/2025 18:05

You have a daughter

Do NOT date a man like this 🤮

ArtTheClown · 09/03/2025 18:05

I don't mind crude but he's just nasty about people - and telling you how he wants to shag someone is else absolutely mind-blowing to me.

redphonecase · 09/03/2025 18:05
  1. you surely mean ex boyfriend
  2. don't introduce the next one to your DD so soon
CutiePieMiMo90 · 09/03/2025 18:06

Throw this one back...his sense of "humour" doesn't align with your own that's OK! But unless your willing to live a life of eye rolling and "what is he like!?" Trying to defend it it's not for you

SororitySister · 09/03/2025 18:06

He needs to not say stuff like that out loud if you're going to be so sensitive, but aside from the fat-shaming, it's all perfectly fine. You really think you should be the only person he wants to ride him?

Chunkilumptious · 09/03/2025 18:07

Dump him, he's boring. I don't mind rude jokes but not about people

WilfredsPies · 09/03/2025 18:09

Tell him he’s regressed into a character, like Jay from the Inbetweeners. Very funny when you’re in your mid to late teens, but utterly cringey for an adult. Is he struggling to come to terms with entering his thirties? Is he going to start wearing Lynx and refusing to eat his vegetables?

Tell him to grow the fuck up and stop embarrassing himself.

Redpeach · 09/03/2025 18:09

If crude humour is someones thing, fair enough, but they should not foce it upon others

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