Finally snapped at Boyfriend’s crude comments

[PeachTea9]

I’m at my wits end with my boyfriend and need to vent!

For context, I’m 31 and he’s slightly younger at 28 and we’ve been together for just under a year.

He has started making increasingly crude comments and I am now getting the silent treatment for telling him to shut it and grow up earlier.

These only began a couple of months ago and started off fairly innocently by being a bit more ‘direct’ with compliments towards me which I didn’t mind to begin with.

This has now progressed to making comments publicly about people we either see out and about or people we know.

Examples:

-‘doesn’t she squash him when they have sex’ (a slightly larger lady compared to her partner - these are friends of mine)

-You could crack an egg with that (a woman we drove past walking home from the gym wearing flattering leggings)

-‘He must be hung like a horse as he’s a bit bloody dull isn’t he’ (after meeting a friend and her BF for the first time)

And the final straw which made me snap today, we drove past a lady on a horse and he said ‘I wouldn’t mind her riding me like that’ and I flipped.

I should have said something previously in hindsight as my anger was building up.

He said I need to lighten up and not be so prudish but for me, this has crossed a line. I said I’m a grown woman and this sort of talk just gives me the ick.

Do you think I overreacted?

That's an immature sense of humour in my opinion and not one I'd put up with

So he’s a sexual pervert? Does he make stupid jokes about anything else? Gross.

He sounds like a basic douchebag. Why be with him? I know men are mostly shit so we settle for shit men, but you can just ditch him.

He sounds extremely tedious.

You think the other comments are clever and witty

That's absolutely bizarre given it appears to have come from nowhere.

I have had experience of personality changes like this before but they were linked to dementia.

Not his excuse I imagine.

I think I would have to ditch him.

This feels like he's waited until he felt comfortable enough to let all the nasty out. He's felt more secure in the relationship since that was a big deal for you and he's been on good behaviour up to now. That is what about this would be making me walk away the absolute ick from the comments themselves aside.

Are you serious? In an exclusive relationship you think it’s ok to talk about how much you’d like to have sex with some passing stranger?

A peculiar way to act in a relationship but if it works for you, then great. I don’t think this approach is very common though. I mean, feel free to conduct a straw poll on here if you want to prove me wrong, but I’m pretty sure most people would think that their partner was a bit of a twat if they started describing the sex they’d like to have with people they pass in the street.

Ew. I think you need to get rid.

He's literally just told you, his partner, how he'd like some poor woman minding her own business to shag him.

He doesn't care what you think of him, op, and he's pretty damn convinced by the sound of it that you are desperate enough to listen to more of the same.

Back to the gutter with the other turds for this one, I'm afraid.

I wouldn't be in the same room as him let alone the same bed. God almighty OP, do you really need to double check any of this? Imagine what an utterly hilarious dinosaur and embarrassment he'll be when he's 50.

He got too comfortable when you introduced him to your daughter and he's showing you his vulgar and rude and disrespectful side that he previously hid. Do not expose your daughter to him any more and dump him.

Surely better to talk about it than keep it as a dirty secret. Pretending that "exclusive" somehow means that you magically stop finding folk attractive is just dishonest, and if you want a partner to pretend, then you're not serious about the relationship.

there have been a ton of them this weekend. I sometime wonder if I am crazy to be on my own, but then I read these threads and think no - all fine here!

aha… that’s it. He’s showing you who he is. He thinks you’re hooked, locked in, going to put up with whatever shit he pulls.

its only a year, this is where a relationship STARTS to get more of a foundation.

you’ve found out that it’s NOT going to go the distance.

what age is your dd? What happens when he starts letching over her?

<shudder>

you know what you gotta do. He gotta go.

My 15 year old son didn’t laugh when I read those comments out. It’s more old man than teenage boy humour.

How did he manage to get out of school detention long enough to meet you?

The thing is, he's shown you who he really is now. Even if he were to do as you've asked and stop making these crass remarks, he'd still be thinking them in his head.
Is that someone you really want to be with?

I agree that we all find other people attractive whether exclusive or married but that's not what he's doing. He's making vulgar/unpleasant remarks about other people's weight/appearance and he's doing it on a regular basis. I can't imagine anyone (except a certain demographic of men) finding that hilarious, let alone appealing.

Fucking hell, there's some batshit responses on here tonight...if any partner of mine voiced that he'd like to fuck someone else, he'd be out on his fucking arse. Jesus's, have some self respect

Get rid… he’s a gross pervert.

You have not over reacted.
He sounds like a bloody idiot and got no respect for you.
Get rid of this embarrassing prick.

^ Totally this.

Personally I would find this revolting.

So he’s said to your face he wants to fuck another woman.

Just dump him. Stop agonising.

You really think you should be the only person he wants to ride him?

I mean... yes? That's generally the expectation in a monogamous relationship.