Finally snapped at Boyfriend’s crude comments

[PeachTea9]

I’m at my wits end with my boyfriend and need to vent!

For context, I’m 31 and he’s slightly younger at 28 and we’ve been together for just under a year.

He has started making increasingly crude comments and I am now getting the silent treatment for telling him to shut it and grow up earlier.

These only began a couple of months ago and started off fairly innocently by being a bit more ‘direct’ with compliments towards me which I didn’t mind to begin with.

This has now progressed to making comments publicly about people we either see out and about or people we know.

Examples:

-‘doesn’t she squash him when they have sex’ (a slightly larger lady compared to her partner - these are friends of mine)

-You could crack an egg with that (a woman we drove past walking home from the gym wearing flattering leggings)

-‘He must be hung like a horse as he’s a bit bloody dull isn’t he’ (after meeting a friend and her BF for the first time)

And the final straw which made me snap today, we drove past a lady on a horse and he said ‘I wouldn’t mind her riding me like that’ and I flipped.

I should have said something previously in hindsight as my anger was building up.

He said I need to lighten up and not be so prudish but for me, this has crossed a line. I said I’m a grown woman and this sort of talk just gives me the ick.

Do you think I overreacted?

Oh please don't even joke at the op becoming pregnant, perish the thought!

He did apologise after last weekend but has put his foot in it again when we went out with friends on Saturday evening.

He had too much to drink by the time we were in the last bar and the conversation was a bit more sexual, but nothing extreme. Out of the blue, he said to my best friend - “you look like your a pegger’ which she laughed off at the time, but text me yesterday to say she found it awkward.

I’ve read him the riot act and he is on his last warning now!!

I’ve read him the riot act and he is on his last warning now!!

Your posts are just goady now and you’re clearly looking for a reaction. It’s been 5 days since the last post so perhaps you’re missing the attention. Do the many decent people on this thread who have tried to help you a favour and just stop it.

I wouldn’t be happy with this. She looks like a pegger? My first thought is he’s looking at her and thinking about her pegging him. So inappropriate. Your boyfriend making creepy leery comments to your friends about what he imagines they do in bed should have been the final straw girl.

I’ve read him the riot act and he is on his last warning now!!

Hole should have been binned

I’ve said any more and enough is enough.

But you already told him that. You clearly are not going to dump him. He knows you’re not going to dump him so he’s just going to continue to make crude comments especially when he’s had a drink. Meanwhile he insults and sexually harasses a range of you friends. I despair.

🤮 do men really think this endears them to anyone? What a twat!

He's on his last warning?

Then comes the this is it, then the you'll be out, then the super dooper last one.

You showed him you may fuss a bit but you put up with his nasty crudeness even when directed at your friends.

You might start losing friends. Your creep BF making disgusting remarks to and sexually harassing your friends is not a way to maintain your friendships.

Urgh

My reading is that by being introduced to your DD he felt he had his feet under your table; and so he relaxed and his mask slipped. Being crude is who he really is, he was on 'best behaviour' before.

Dump, dump, dump. And thank your lucky stars that you've wasted less than a year on him.

So essentially he didn’t take you seriously and he was right not to because you still didn’t dump him after he was a dick again.

THIS IS WHO HE IS.

Do what you want obviously but don’t pretend you’ve drawn some line he can’t cross.

Well. It's quite the revelation what you can be deleted for these days. I was making an utterly serious point about this thread. No joke. No wind up.

He sounds vile - I doubt his thinking has changed, just that for some reason he's started verbalising his thoughts.
Find a ditch for him, date an adult.

So he’s on his last warning sissy from the next last warning and the one after that etc etc etc

Hd knows he can be as crude and vulgar as he wants because there’s no consequences.

And you’ll co time to expose your child to this vile gobshite. What about what he starts making crude comments to her? Another slap on the wrist and yet another ‘final warning’?

OP. What is actually wrong with you? Why are you so desperate that you’re happy to put up with someone as low-quality as this? I mean, he’s vile. You can see that right? Why the fuck do you keep giving him warnings?

God help your poor daughter when she becomes a teenager 😫

And what about your friends? What if you’re on their last warning? Sexually harassed by your bf one more time and you’re gone. Because you clearly value this man more than them.

Love and respect yourself OP. You keep making excuses for this sorry excuse of a man.

He was drunk, he apologised, he didn't mean it, it's banter..... real men just don't treat a serious partner like that.

You have a daughter, why woul you potentially expose her to such?

OP. You're being wilfully blind.

Your BF of less than a year is escalating. He started making vulgar, gross sexual comments to you about others, now he's moved on to sexually harassing your women friends. And that's after you forced a meaningless apology out of him. But you did nothing else. You didn't give him consequences. So he now knows you may whine a bit but you don't act on it.

The creepiest part of this is you say he started this right after you introduced him to your daughter.

You got a trash man. You have a daughter. Do better.

wtf is a pegger?

Someone who puts on a strap-on and inserts it into her partner’s bum hole.
If any man said that to me I would ditch the friend and her creepy boyfriend.
OP is going to end up with no friends.
Last warning - no point. He has a compulsion and clearly makes women feel at least very uncomfortable.

Your poor daughter and friends being exposed to this utter creep because you unfathomably still want to shag a man who would make most women cringe or feel sick.

You realise this is who he is yes? Even if he never says this stuff out loud again, he’s told you through his previous comments (repeatedly) that he sees women through a lens of ‘women are for sex and I am entitled to comment on their bodies’ and that he feels entitled to blame his bad behaviour on you not having sex with him for a week. That’s him. He’s that kind of man. Is that really the kind you want? Someone with healthy self esteem wanting to set a good example to their daughter would rather be single than tolerate him.

I really feel for your daughter, it’s so damaging watching a mum tolerate shit men and having such low standards for them.

It does seem a really sad but all too common theme on MN that having any bloke is a higher priority than DC wellbeing.

Time and time again, we see threads where it’s dick over kids every single time

Its like feminism never happened, the shit women tolerate just to keep an inadequate man.