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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Finally snapped at Boyfriend’s crude comments

306 replies

PeachTea9 · 09/03/2025 17:55

I’m at my wits end with my boyfriend and need to vent!

For context, I’m 31 and he’s slightly younger at 28 and we’ve been together for just under a year.

He has started making increasingly crude comments and I am now getting the silent treatment for telling him to shut it and grow up earlier.

These only began a couple of months ago and started off fairly innocently by being a bit more ‘direct’ with compliments towards me which I didn’t mind to begin with.

This has now progressed to making comments publicly about people we either see out and about or people we know.

Examples:

-‘doesn’t she squash him when they have sex’ (a slightly larger lady compared to her partner - these are friends of mine)

-You could crack an egg with that (a woman we drove past walking home from the gym wearing flattering leggings)

-‘He must be hung like a horse as he’s a bit bloody dull isn’t he’ (after meeting a friend and her BF for the first time)

And the final straw which made me snap today, we drove past a lady on a horse and he said ‘I wouldn’t mind her riding me like that’ and I flipped.

I should have said something previously in hindsight as my anger was building up.

He said I need to lighten up and not be so prudish but for me, this has crossed a line. I said I’m a grown woman and this sort of talk just gives me the ick.

Do you think I overreacted?

OP posts:
whathaveiforgotten · 18/03/2025 12:22

TwistedWonder · 18/03/2025 11:24

It does seem a really sad but all too common theme on MN that having any bloke is a higher priority than DC wellbeing.

Time and time again, we see threads where it’s dick over kids every single time

Its like feminism never happened, the shit women tolerate just to keep an inadequate man.

Especially as, let’s be honest, he will be looking at OP’s daughter through that lens as she develops. Which is just so fucking vile to think about but I don’t know how OP could possibly say otherwise, based on his behaviour.

How a woman can want to shag a man like this I’ll never understand. Being single is far preferable to being with a pervy creep who makes sexual comments about AND TO your friends and blames you for most of it for not having sex with them for a few days.

The bar is obviously lower than a snake’s belly.

PointsSouth · 18/03/2025 12:34

Me, I like a dirty joke. You can tell it's a dirty joke because it's funny.

None of that was funny. It was just..well, somewhere between crass and unkind.

So I don't think I'd be saying 'don't make inappropriate comments.' I'd be saying 'stop being thick and cruel'.

...I mean, if I weren't saying 'goodbye'.

Incakewetrust · 18/03/2025 13:07

you told him it was his last chance the LAST time he did something. You’re not leaving him. This is just your life now…watching your bf desire everyone around you.

Molstraat · 18/03/2025 13:18

Its her poor daughter I feel sorry for. Imagine allowing scum like that around your child.

I can only imagine the chat her friends will be having behind her back about him and her choices.

Goody2ShoesAndTheFilthyBeast · 18/03/2025 20:48

So that's 2 last warnings you've given him now?
Why do you think he will believe you now when you gave him the initial last warning only a few days ago?

Simbaonedaythiswillallbeyours · 19/03/2025 09:03

I cringe for you and fear for your poor daughter. If I were your best friend I'd cut you off.

I've recently banned someone like this from my workplace when his filthy, wildly inappropriate comments upset one of my staff. Just another gross male who thinks women are beneath him.

Your boyfriend is a disgusting, creepy, mysogynistic pig who expects you to be available to relieve his sexual frustration lest he sexually harass your friends. How you can let him near you or around your child is baffling.

More fool you if you stay with him.

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