To hate holiday with baby

[Greenwich869]

DH insisted it will be great. He was excited. I was the negative nelly obviously but gave in. Well, we're here. 10 hour flight was brutal. Baby is jet lagged. So are we. It's made baby clingy even though he never was clingy with me before. He won't settle for dad now. My back feels like it will snap in two from spending the last 24 hours holding baby to sleep in the airport and plane. Constantly rocking him as if he is a newborn but he's 9 kgs.

It's just parenting a million times worse.

It's day 1, we arrived this morning. DH is insisting it was the right thing to come. He is going the extra mile, trying to do lots and I am trying to put on a good face but I am absolutely miserable.

The right thing to do is snap out of it and enjoy it as there's no quick way to go home. But I hate DH right now. Hate his fucking guts. Could 100% divorce him over this. And I hate myself for giving in to his stupid idea. Hate, hate, hate myself.

Ya. Holidays for me were parenting but in a different place without all the things we needed and out of routine. I loathed them.

Sorry to hear OP .I feel the same as you and @BunsenBurnerBaby - to the point where we.domt plan on going away anywhere anymore. Which I'm fine with. I look forward to resurrecting our holidays when DD is a bit older.

i just stayed in the uk until the kids were at least able to wheel their own suitcases around.

Definately not worth the hassle with babies and toddlers.

Leave him with the baby - it was his idea!

You've only just arrived and you're all exhausted and jet lagged, don't write off the whole holiday just yet. Travelling with little ones can be HARD but you will make so many memories, not necessarily all amazingly happy moments, but memories you'll look back on and laugh and smile about in years to come.

Our first holiday with toddler DD was a disaster, she hated everything, wouldn't nap for love nor money and just mainly bolted off across the resort but we still reminisce on it fondly. And we're taking her and her baby brother long haul for the first time this month so it clearly hasn't completely scarred us.

Baby is feeling completely out of sorts in a new place, can you try to go easy on your back but have lots of snuggles- weightless cuddles in the pool, nap together in bed or in the shade? Once you've all rested and recovered a bit you'll hopefully feel a bit better. Hang on in there :)

Where are you? It must be lovely and warm if 10 hours away. I think you need some food and to sleep. Let Dh take the baby for the day.

Honestly, I went on holiday alone with my then 8 month old and it was great. Traditional beach resort holiday, yes, will be challenging. But it’s an easy age to put them in the pushchair and get out and see things. We went to museums and markets and wandered parks and botanical gardens. I adjusted his sleeping schedule so dinner out was doable. We’d have dinner around 6-7pm, but then would go for walks around the city in the evenings, stop for hot chocolate or dessert, go to bed around 9-10pm.

You absolutely can make a lovely time of it, but get some rest and let Dh do the graft today.

We learnt the hard way that young children were a nightmare on the first day. Tired and grumpy. My DS was 18 months first time we went. He didn't like the sand, the sea or the pool on the first day. But after that it did get better. It'll look better with sleep

Honestly that's the answer. If you did most of the holding baby, give him over to dad who goes for a walk etc and get a few hours kip

Do you have mental health issues? This is an extreme reaction to being on holiday with a baby.

Oh shut up. Even the strongest of people lose it a little when sleep deprived - that's the reason it's such an effective torture method.

No it’s not. Spending 10 hours on a plane with an unsettled baby is seriously horrific.

The actual travel to get to your destination can be the worst . BTW he has to do it on the way home. But after some sleep and a nice morning things will seem better . Best thing about holiday is no schedule, doze when you want to , let baby sleep in buggy , don't worry too much about routine. The sun , splashing in water , etc.will tire baby out more too. Try to put the journey behind you and enjoy ☀️

It was a really stupid idea (well done DH).

Get some alone time. Hand baby over and go and chill by a pool or beach.

Yeah. Being on holiday with a baby is not having all your creature comforts in a hot climate with an exhausted baby. See also: going to a festival with a baby. Going to a wedding with a baby. Going anywhere where not the local park/a family friend/family for over 2 hours.

But you’re there now. Get partner to take baby out for 2 hours with appropriate equipment. Strict instructions: DO NOT COME BACK (unless dire). Rest. Back to great mum. Throw clothes in the bin where necessary. Take home baby in just vest if required. Stare angrily at anyone who gets in your way. Stay in hotel room all day if necessary. Laugh about it later.

How old is your baby?

We took DD to Mauritius when she was 18 months. The flight was bloody hard - lots of jiggling and juggling to keep her entertained (she slept for 4 hours of a 12 hr night flight).

BUT. Once we’d all napped and recovered … it was lovely. We have some really great memories. Admittedly there wasn’t the jetlag. But honestly, I really think you will feel differently once you have all caught up on sleep.

Hand baby over and go for a long sleep.

Baby is 6 months and exclusively breastfed. The max amount of time I could have on my own is 2 hours before another feed is needed.

Yep holiday with kids is not a holiday. However, you can still have a good time. Just not a relaxing one.
We went on a holiday when our son was 8 months, luckily it was the UK and we went home after a day.
Has your hotel got a creche? Explore how to get a little break of an hour here and there it will make a big difference.
Swap duties, go to to the spa alone and chill.
Dont feel forced to explore, do outings or take pictures.
Chill in the room with baby, watch tv, eat and sleep for a day or two to get back on track

You never know unless you try. I really enjoyed travelling with mine. I still do, and he’s 3 now. Lots of people don’t, though, and that’s understandable too.

Would two hours sleep/rest while they wander round help right now?

10 hours is a bit of a hardcore way to test whether you like travelling with children, but you’re there now, so try and make the most of it. You can always decide that you don’t want to do it again when you get home.

I just think we're all different and that's ok - how does your DH feel right now?
I think holidays with babies/toddlers/young kids is parenting but a million times BETTER!
My absolute happiest times have been on holiday with our kids, they've travelled all over, short haul, long haul, Europe road trips, so many experiences and adventures and I've loved every one.
What is it that's the worst part for you?

My kids are primary age and we've still not been further the Greece with them and I don't intend to until they are both older. Kids stopped our long haul trips.
I understand how you feel because if my partner had done the same to me I would want to kill him so you are quite justified in how you feel in my opinion. Make sure he knows how you feel and that he helps look after the baby while you're there. Tell him you don't want to do it again while LO is a baby and least not that far!
Holidays make some men forget they have to parent and he'll leave you holding the baby while he is relaxing. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt. To be fair my DP is great now they are older so I can relax but the baby years were grim for me. I loved being with my family but I resented doing the feeds, getting babies to sleep in scorching hot weather, putting all the feckin cream on a million times a day etc. It's just not a holiday is it?

I also would be annoyed btw OP. 10 hours long haul with a breast fed 6 month old. You might as well enjoy it now though.
Next holiday will be your choice of location.

Exactly, remembering our first 6 months, we were insane, sleep deprived lunatics deprived of all reason and judgement. Probably how OP ended up on a long haul and why her DH mistakenly thought it was a good idea.

Try go with it if you can! I’ve travelled a lot with ours as a baby and try not let your anger take over your mind ….give baby to your DH for a few hours while you get a bath / nap/ drink/ go the pool/ whatever you like to do. There’s two of you , so be kind to yourself and share out the baby duties!
if baby is tired , have a chill morning and do something in the afternoon. Don’t put pressure to be up and out entertaining your DH!
I always think parenting is bloody hard but I’d rather be doing it in a beautiful country with beautiful weather than stuck in rainy England in Tesco. It’s a week or two . Have some nice food (room service if baby is unsettled) and try enjoy small bits. Where are you on holiday out of interest?

Ok, 6 months, that’s a little earlier than I would have braved long haul. It does have some benefits though - a non mobile EBF baby who still naps is easier to travel with in many ways than an older baby/toddler.

You can still enjoy it though. Take the 2 hour nap. And another nap later if you need it.

Do you have baby swim stuff with you? Do you have a shade for the buggy? Is there a baby friendly pool? Make sure you tag team 50/50 with DH regardless of EBF.

Oh please. What an answer! You jump to mental health issues just because OP is having one of those days. God I could have murdered my DH sometimes when baby was little….