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AIBU?

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Original poster

To hate holiday with baby

257 replies

Greenwich869 · 05/03/2025 20:53

DH insisted it will be great. He was excited. I was the negative nelly obviously but gave in. Well, we're here. 10 hour flight was brutal. Baby is jet lagged. So are we. It's made baby clingy even though he never was clingy with me before. He won't settle for dad now. My back feels like it will snap in two from spending the last 24 hours holding baby to sleep in the airport and plane. Constantly rocking him as if he is a newborn but he's 9 kgs.

It's just parenting a million times worse.

It's day 1, we arrived this morning. DH is insisting it was the right thing to come. He is going the extra mile, trying to do lots and I am trying to put on a good face but I am absolutely miserable.

The right thing to do is snap out of it and enjoy it as there's no quick way to go home. But I hate DH right now. Hate his fucking guts. Could 100% divorce him over this. And I hate myself for giving in to his stupid idea. Hate, hate, hate myself.

OP posts:
coxesorangepippin · 05/03/2025 21:55

YANBU

BeSharpBee · 05/03/2025 21:57

Gonna parrot the rest. Same shit different location - but you're also supposed to be epically enjoying yourself. Yay. Fun.

Your dh is a twat, as baby is EBF he needs to lay off the expectations and let you and baby rest until you're ready to play Yay! Fun!

goodkidsmaadhouse · 05/03/2025 22:02

You can definitely leave an EBF 6 month old for more than 2 hours. And I say that having had 3 of them, none of whom would ever take expressed milk. But at 6 months they really can go a good 4 hours at least.

As others have said, catch up on sleep one way or another and then figure out what you want from the trip - an hour alone each day to read? Swim? Go shopping by yourself? Not sure where you are or what activities you enjoy, but surely there will be something there that will make you happy.

We did long haul with a 5 month old DC1 and it was awesome, then again with 2 yo DC1 and 4 month old DC2 and that was awesome too. But you have to settle into it and let go of hating DH so that you can actually enjoy yourself.

NotMeNoNo · 05/03/2025 22:03

The first holiday as parents is always a revelation, don't worry we've all been there. You just have to adjust your expectations. And take the small wins 😊.

I remember going away with ours very young to a church camping event that we enjoyed pre-DC. One of the other mums said, expect to get no sleep, that they won't settle in the crèche and you won't get to any of the presentations. Then at least its a bonus if you do.

valentinka31 · 05/03/2025 22:10

You shouldn't have gone so far. For me, I would never ever go 10 hours in a plane with a 6 month old baby. That to my mind is the real issue, not the actual going away.

A 6-mont-old needs everthing to be stable and arranged around them, and you are on a 2-hour feeding schedule. So how are you supposed to participate in a 'holiday'?

Yes, you're going to have to dissolve your anger because it's a waste of being somewhere lovely. So just calm down and enjoy it as much as you can.

Mademetoxic · 05/03/2025 22:13

Why on earth go longhaul out of choice with a baby? Madness.

SocialMeeds · 05/03/2025 22:14

Candledrip · 05/03/2025 21:19

Do you have mental health issues? This is an extreme reaction to being on holiday with a baby.

Wow! How insensitive. I think it’s quite normal to feel this after a ten hour flight looking after a baby’s every needs. To be honest we never went long haul at that age, just two hours to Spain/France and that change in routine was enough. Jet lag must be brutal. But give it a few days and hopefully it’ll seem better. I agree though, it can feel like doing the same shit just in a hotter place!

CandidGreenSquid · 05/03/2025 22:16

You’re there now so I would just try to relax and not have any expectations from now on. Routine isn’t essential and you can share all the childcare because there are no other jobs to do really. Make sure you get some alone time most days. Enjoy your holiday!

PlumFairies · 05/03/2025 22:16

Greenwich869 · 05/03/2025 21:38

Baby is 6 months and exclusively breastfed. The max amount of time I could have on my own is 2 hours before another feed is needed.

It was ridiculous to agree to a ten hour flight with a six month old baby, you could have had a holiday a lot closer to home and still had a lovely time.

Raininginparadise2 · 05/03/2025 22:20

Sorry you feel so sad OP. I always thought that travelling away with a baby wasn't really a holiday. It's just a change of scenery. Shame you flew such a long way. I think you just have to make the best of it whilst you are there. Sadly you probably won't come back chilled and relaxed but try and enjoy the sunshine. Take care x

confusedlots · 05/03/2025 22:21

Not what you want to hear right now but I really can't understand why you have gone somewhere that requires a 10 hour flight with a baby! No doubt you have paid a large amount of money to end up out of routine and exhausted. You'll have to try and make the most of it now, try and get back into some sort of routine and use nap times for one of you to enjoy the pool/surrounding area while the other one watches the baby.

suburberphobe · 05/03/2025 22:22

Do you have mental health issues? This is an extreme reaction to being on holiday with a baby.

OFFS!! On a 10 fucking hour flight with a baby?!
Your whole life is turned upside down when you have a baby. Hormones drop massively too.

I'd be raging by now, breast feeding too.....

OP, is there a family reason he dragged you half-way round the world for that?

Why did you o.k. it? Yea, I get the brain fog, hope it settles down soon.

hereismydog · 05/03/2025 22:22

Well, you survived the flight, so surely that’s the hardest bit over and done with (until the flight home, anyway)?

Get some rest, have something to eat and try to enjoy your time on holiday with your family, even if you need to spend a few days dossing in and around a pool. Are you in a hotel or Airbnb?

I’m flying long haul (alone 🫣) with my breastfed DS in April when he’ll be just shy of 4 months, I expect I will also hate myself for my decision for the entire flight and so will the other passengers, probably but I’m looking forward to the actual holiday part!

PurpleFlower1983 · 05/03/2025 22:25

We took both of ours abroad from 4 months but no way would I have done a 10 hour flight! Crazy!

viques · 05/03/2025 22:25

10 hour flight! Why choose somewhere so far away? Madness.

Odras · 05/03/2025 22:26

Oh you poor thing. You’ll still have a nice time don’t worry. But it’s absolutely not the same as a holiday without a baby.

Next time go on a short flight with a short transfer to a very child friendly location.

Bepo77 · 05/03/2025 22:26

Same question as everyone else…why did you choose such a faraway location?!

Katbum · 05/03/2025 22:28

We travelled loads with DD when I was on mat leave including to Hong Kong. Flight was brutal, then after sleeping and food we chilled and had an incredible time. Breathe. Sleep. Reassess in the morning.

AmyW9 · 05/03/2025 22:28

YANBU. Holidays with a baby are not restful, and totally understand how the reality of that plus a long haul flight might not have hit home until you were actually doing it.

Tomorrow is a new day. Try and alternate who puts baby down for a nap, give each other a couple of hours of 'me time' each day, and enjoy tasty food and cool drinks. As the days go on, you will find a new routine and ways to manage the day :-)

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 05/03/2025 22:29

He needs to take the baby for a big block of time - I mean several hours - so you can get a real proper rest. Ideally at night. Everything will look different with some sleep inside you and a break from holding the baby.

NWnature · 05/03/2025 22:30

Definitely take a couple of decent naps to get a bit of rest. Tell DH he needs to do some
time with the pram or take over the rocking. Book a massage to chill, then have a cocktail and recoup.

I don’t get why so many people are shocked you went long haul though. 6mo EBF is a fab time to take them as they aren’t mobile and you can feed whenever/ wherever minimal hassle. So don’t beat yourself up about that decision at all!

I’d try and just go with the flow now, don’t worry about routine and hopefully once you’ve had some sleep you’ll ease into the holiday. Make some lovely memories with your little family.

LoveWatchingTheSea · 05/03/2025 22:31

Holidays with kids = Same shit, different location

TheaBrandt1 · 05/03/2025 22:33

I felt like this first holiday with a baby. You need to massively lower your expectations.

When we had a baby and a toddler my parents had them for 2 nights and we went to a lovely spa hotel 40 mins drive away. Those two nights more restful than a whole holiday with a baby and a toddler.

Drfosters · 05/03/2025 22:33

I am in awe of parents who take their babies on holiday. Having had 2 terrible sleepers and then borderline hyperactive toddlers it just would have been unfathomable for us. We did not brave going on holiday at all until eldest was 5.

That said, since you are there now, enjoy it as best as you can. Babies are not relaxing at all but hopefully you can try and relax a bit and soak up some sun.

Original poster
Greenwich869 · 05/03/2025 22:36

The reason for the length of the flight is to visit family and friends. It's not a random destination but this actually makes it harder as we have people to see etc, it's not a super special destination. Everyone convinced us that travelling with a 6 month old is easier than a 12 month old. Fuck me, I can't even fathom what traveling is with a toddler then because this is hell.

OP posts:
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