Page 10 | To hate holiday with baby

Greenwich869 · 2025-03-05T20:53:01+00:00

DH insisted it will be great. He was excited. I was the negative nelly obviously but gave in. Well, we're here. 10 hour flight was brutal. Baby is jet lagged. So are we. It's made baby clingy even though he never was clingy with me before. He won't settle for dad now. My back feels like it will snap in two from spending the last 24 hours holding baby to sleep in the airport and plane. Constantly rocking him as if he is a newborn but he's 9 kgs. It's just parenting a million times worse. It's day 1, we arrived this morning. DH is insisting it was the right thing to come. He is going the extra mile, trying to do lots and I am trying to put on a good face but I am absolutely miserable. The right thing to do is snap out of it and enjoy it as there's no quick way to go home. But I hate DH right now. Hate his fucking guts. Could 100% divorce him over this. And I hate myself for giving in to his stupid idea. Hate, hate, hate myself.

peanutbuttertoasty · 06/03/2025 22:15

Greenwich869 · 05/03/2025 21:38

Baby is 6 months and exclusively breastfed. The max amount of time I could have on my own is 2 hours before another feed is needed.

2 hour massages are amazing.

get yourself a cocktail. And a nap. It’ll get better.

Missj25 · 06/03/2025 23:43

Hey OP 👋..
How come ye went so far to holiday ?

mathanxiety · 07/03/2025 03:05

Greenwich869 · 06/03/2025 11:10

Thanks everyone. I feel better today. DH and I did end up having a row last night but it's all fine now. DH is a very involved, loving and hands on dad but he is a forever optimist (which is often a wonderful trait).

We are visiting both sides of the family, not just his, but mine were willing to travel to us (and have done so already several times). My judgment is a bit clouded by the fact that his family, while perfectly nice, aren't very warm or helpful or even all that interested in us/baby. So I feel like I am putting my baby through quite a lot for the sake of a bunch of people who don't give much of a shit anyway.

To the person asking if I have mental health issues...well, no, but dealing with an inconsolable baby on a 10 hour flight did break me. Baby woke every 30-60 minutes last night but by some miracle we managed to sleep a bit in between.

I hate hate hate hearing him cry. And he loves routine, he thrives on it. He was confused, overstimulated and overtired and all I could think is what a terrible mother I am.

Anyways, I do feel better and like a rational human again, thank you for all your replies. I will make the best of it and I'm sure we will make some lovely memories.

Is your husband desperately trying to make his family show a little interest in him and you and the baby? Is that why he was so keen on the trip and unwilling to listen to your worries?

mrssunshinexxx · 07/03/2025 06:27

First time we went albeit uk holiday it was a shit show it rained the kids were hardwork and me and dh argued. We learnt a lot from it though - to lower our expectations hugely and accept its parenting in the sun / in another place
My best advice is go for absolute minimal travel time.
We are going to Spain again this year 2 hour 20 flight is long enough with 3, 4 and under. X

justanotherimperfectmum2025 · 07/03/2025 08:44

I'm sorry this has happened to you.

I know how you feel, being on holiday with children is not really a holiday, like another post said, just like parenting in another country! DH and I went to Turkiye with my family 3 years ago when my DD was 1 and a half and she developed a stomach bug and ended up in a Turkish Hospital overnight on an IV drip! Cost us over £1500 cos DH forgot to add her to our Health Insurance! It was HELL. It's definitely a lot easier when they are older, don't need car seats/buggy's etc to take with you too.

Like you said, think the only thing you can do, now you're there, is just try to embrace it, get as much out of it and enjoy it as much as you can.

Good luck, hope the baby's ok now!

Jabtastic · 07/03/2025 11:59

Nonrienderien · 06/03/2025 11:10

Sometimes all it takes is to count our blessings & be grateful to be given the gift of a child. My 'opinion' is not berating,it's merely a different view. The joys far outweigh the struggles. Nobody ever said parents like everyone else on the planet never have days when they are exhausted & could run a mile. Ask them if they would go back in time & not have babies. The vast majority wouldn't dream of saying yes. Interesting that this vast majority inevitably go on to have more than one. Mine is an opinion which although different from the naysayers it's still valid.

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Your opinion was really bloody insensitive on this particular thread. Let mothers have a vent without shaming them. 'Ohhh you're so lucky to have a child! Ohhhh you're so lucky to be on holiday!'

I'm quite severely disabled but I still let my friends have a moan without saying 'Ohhhh you're so lucky not to be disabled!' It is possible to have many blessings and still just be having a bad day!

Nonrienderien · 07/03/2025 12:22

Jabtastic · 07/03/2025 11:59

Your opinion was really bloody insensitive on this particular thread. Let mothers have a vent without shaming them. 'Ohhh you're so lucky to have a child! Ohhhh you're so lucky to be on holiday!'

I'm quite severely disabled but I still let my friends have a moan without saying 'Ohhhh you're so lucky not to be disabled!' It is possible to have many blessings and still just be having a bad day!

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I'm sorry to read you are severely disabled. You are entitled to vent & have every reason to do so. If you knew me in real life you would recognise I am often too sensitive for my own good. I've learned in this life you need a thick skin, especially on mumsnet 😊Please feel free to vent at me if it helps because I understand & wish you well.

Marie324 · 07/03/2025 12:22

Candledrip · 05/03/2025 21:19

Do you have mental health issues? This is an extreme reaction to being on holiday with a baby.

I don't think it is

ThisRedLion · 07/03/2025 14:13

So you triple hate him made me laugh did that post, I know what it's like to do a 10hr flight with a toddler not easy not fun and definitely not romantic however all the 1st holidays in the world i would hate myself more for agreeing such a devastating distance yoi could've tried a more manageable holiday but you've made it your there and you'll be seriously jet lagged and hormonal and whingy if you can go run a bath take a bottle of wine in and shut the door tell the hubby you need the time to just relax to go put baby to bed and enjoy your me time put some music on low on your phone away from the bath try Enya part 1 and let yourself go to another place for however long you decide to sit in that lovely hot bath am sure after a good sleep you'll start to feel much better and can then plan the journey home knowing what's ahead reqll6 hope this helps xx

FluffyBenji23 · 07/03/2025 17:19

There is no such thing as a 'holiday' with a baby. All the same everyday stuff to do but in unfamiliar surroundings and with none of your baby stuff or at home support. I convinced my daughter of this (after disastrous 'holidays' with her as a toddler) and they are only this year going away with my grandson. And he's four!
Ps they have been away but I've cared for him - relaxation for them and granny bonding for me.

TheBirdintheCave · 07/03/2025 23:17

@FluffyBenji23 You absolutely can. I don't get this blanket statement of holidays with kids not being a holiday 🤷🏻‍♀️

If I'm staying somewhere that isn't my house and I get to eat and drink yummy things, see cultural sights and not be at work then fab I'm on holiday!

I don't feel burdened by the fact that I still have to change my daughter's nappy or help my son put on his shoes or put them both to bed. I'm not looking for a break from parenting when I go on holiday I'm going for a break from the tedious parts of my life: work, cleaning, meal planning, bills.

Katemax82 · 07/03/2025 23:26

10 hour flight with a baby??? I took our son at age 4 on his first flight to Malaysia that was bad enough, your very brave

LuckySantangelo35 · 08/03/2025 14:10

Nonrienderien · 07/03/2025 12:22

I'm sorry to read you are severely disabled. You are entitled to vent & have every reason to do so. If you knew me in real life you would recognise I am often too sensitive for my own good. I've learned in this life you need a thick skin, especially on mumsnet 😊Please feel free to vent at me if it helps because I understand & wish you well.

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@Nonrienderien

actually loads of women WOULDNT have kids if they could turn back time, if they knew how hard it was gonna be they wouldn’t bother

Jabtastic · 08/03/2025 15:37

Nonrienderien · 07/03/2025 12:22

I'm sorry to read you are severely disabled. You are entitled to vent & have every reason to do so. If you knew me in real life you would recognise I am often too sensitive for my own good. I've learned in this life you need a thick skin, especially on mumsnet 😊Please feel free to vent at me if it helps because I understand & wish you well.

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I don't need to vent at you My annoyance was for the OP. You read my post and totally misunderstood it. Don't shame women for complaining that motherhood is hard at times. It IS hard especially when you're just getting used to it. Don't tell her how lucky she is when she was venting about a day when she was having a shit time. I wish people were more honest about how tough parenting can be and new parents would feel much less judged and much less alone.

Enjoy your holiday OP as best you can! The first one with a baby can be a shock. Like I said I remember the first one well (I felt like I needed a holiday to recover from the shock of it not being a restful holiday!) but our now teen is a great travel companion. We found 2-5 the most challenging years. We invest so much hope in holidays so low expectations can help.

Nonrienderien · 09/03/2025 12:31

Jabtastic · 08/03/2025 15:37

I don't need to vent at you My annoyance was for the OP. You read my post and totally misunderstood it. Don't shame women for complaining that motherhood is hard at times. It IS hard especially when you're just getting used to it. Don't tell her how lucky she is when she was venting about a day when she was having a shit time. I wish people were more honest about how tough parenting can be and new parents would feel much less judged and much less alone.

Enjoy your holiday OP as best you can! The first one with a baby can be a shock. Like I said I remember the first one well (I felt like I needed a holiday to recover from the shock of it not being a restful holiday!) but our now teen is a great travel companion. We found 2-5 the most challenging years. We invest so much hope in holidays so low expectations can help.

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Of course there are days when you could run a mile. Nobody suggested otherwise. My point is if it's as difficult as some people make out why do most couples go on to have more than one child,often three or four. It's because having a family & the rewards it brings far outweigh the tough days. There is no better feeling than the pride you feel when watching your children in a school play,winning prizes for sporting achievements etc etc not forgetting the cuddles & the pleasure when they take their first steps & hearing their first words.

Nonrienderien · 09/03/2025 12:46

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Jabtastic · 09/03/2025 15:13

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I'm torn between astonished and amused at your self-proclaimed 'sensitivity' when your posts are endlessly insensitive and passive aggressive. You should be ashamed of your posts but I doubt you have the self-awareness to.

Editing to add: even in my own circle of friends more of us have one child than two or more. Not everyone is the same as you. Mind blowing I know.

Nonrienderien · 09/03/2025 15:34

Jabtastic · 09/03/2025 15:13

I'm torn between astonished and amused at your self-proclaimed 'sensitivity' when your posts are endlessly insensitive and passive aggressive. You should be ashamed of your posts but I doubt you have the self-awareness to.

Editing to add: even in my own circle of friends more of us have one child than two or more. Not everyone is the same as you. Mind blowing I know.

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The aggressive posts are coming from you. I can't imagine how anyone can be so insensitive about children. This is why when I read posts such as 'many women would not have them if they could turn back time' I find it astonishing.
It may be an opinion but it's a shocking one given the amount of children reffered to social services through lack of care.

Nonrienderien · 09/03/2025 17:12

Jabtastic · 09/03/2025 15:13

I'm torn between astonished and amused at your self-proclaimed 'sensitivity' when your posts are endlessly insensitive and passive aggressive. You should be ashamed of your posts but I doubt you have the self-awareness to.

Editing to add: even in my own circle of friends more of us have one child than two or more. Not everyone is the same as you. Mind blowing I know.

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Reported under the guidelines of personal attacks.

Reallyneedsaholiday · 10/03/2025 17:57

Printedword · 06/03/2025 21:58

Well really obviously I was responding to the post directly. What a nasty little reply

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You’re right, you did make a “nasty little reply” not to mention, inaccurate 🙄

Thre3isthemagicnumber · 10/03/2025 18:37

Long haul with a baby is very brave. I would only do it to visit family, not just to have a holiday. I haven't left the UK in 2 years because flying with kids is so annoying.

Good luck, though! I'm sure it will get better after you've rested.

Printedword · 10/03/2025 19:10

Reallyneedsaholiday · 10/03/2025 17:57

You’re right, you did make a “nasty little reply” not to mention, inaccurate 🙄

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You ask I question, I suggest politely that if you have booked seats you sit together in a way that works. You attack me without reason

Reallyneedsaholiday · 10/03/2025 20:34

Printedword · 10/03/2025 19:10

You ask I question, I suggest politely that if you have booked seats you sit together in a way that works. You attack me without reason

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I didn't ask a question, and your suggestion didn't make sense. Please go away.

Printedword · 10/03/2025 22:26

Reallyneedsaholiday · 10/03/2025 20:34

I didn't ask a question, and your suggestion didn't make sense. Please go away.

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Horrid

Phonicshaskilledmeoff · 10/03/2025 22:35

i have 3 children and have travelled a lot (including Australia with a 2 year old).

My advice is to (in the nicest way possible) just chill the fuck out and go with the flow. Accept that baby might be unsettled and then breathe. You don’t hate your partners guts - it’s fab that he wanted to take a holiday with you both and had the get up and go to organise it.

It sounds like you arrived with predetermined negative thoughts that you’ve now let affect your holiday. I think you really need to adjust your mindset otherwise you’re going to have a miserable week.

Go for a wonder in the pram. Go in the pool even if it’s nap time. Hand the baby to dad and go for a massage. Let go of the idea of nap times and feed times. Baby will get on board with the idea soon - you’re all just knackered.