To hate holiday with baby

[Greenwich869]

DH insisted it will be great. He was excited. I was the negative nelly obviously but gave in. Well, we're here. 10 hour flight was brutal. Baby is jet lagged. So are we. It's made baby clingy even though he never was clingy with me before. He won't settle for dad now. My back feels like it will snap in two from spending the last 24 hours holding baby to sleep in the airport and plane. Constantly rocking him as if he is a newborn but he's 9 kgs.

It's just parenting a million times worse.

It's day 1, we arrived this morning. DH is insisting it was the right thing to come. He is going the extra mile, trying to do lots and I am trying to put on a good face but I am absolutely miserable.

The right thing to do is snap out of it and enjoy it as there's no quick way to go home. But I hate DH right now. Hate his fucking guts. Could 100% divorce him over this. And I hate myself for giving in to his stupid idea. Hate, hate, hate myself.

Oh op this doesn't sound fun or like a holiday all. Long haul travel is exhausting enough but if you are still bf a 6 mo them it's no surprise you are exhausted. Plus, instead of all that travel in order to flop out on a sun lounger you are in fact visiting family.....which is also exhausting to do with a baby even without the long haul.

Take it easy for the first couple of days, tell dh you need to rest and he can support. I hope you feel a bit better once the jet lag eases.

FK off with that stupid idea. You clearly have no idea about mental health problems, lack of sleep or jet lag.

Bit of an exaggeration. Tiring and stressful sure, but “seriously horrific”? lol. Everything has to be extreme these days.

With a 6 month old I wouldn’t have considered flying 10 hours.

Maybe a short flight to somewhere sunny then a week of just relaxing together ( as far as that’s possible with a baby). I’m afraid you were too ambitious in your plans.

10 hour flight?? What were you thinking?? Absolutely maximum 2 hour flight til they’re about 3, then I’ve kept it max 4 hour flight til littlest turned 6, then we did a long haul. I hate holidays wuth under threes anyway. They’re unsettled and usually hate the heat. Honestly I would stay in the UK until he’s at least 2.

With the time difference it will have thrown out your babies routine. Personally I stayed in the uk until they were older I didn’t want the hassle of flight delays and them not coping with heat etc. Your there now I would try and enjoy it. A shorter flight may make it more manageable next time.

what are your plans for the week?
are they all baby friendly

Holidays with children under 5 are really stressful and just parenting abroad with an overheated, overstumulated little dictator. It gets easier after that!

you are seeing family, that will be worth it op

Rubbish. Babies are hard work when not on holiday, even worse when you take them away. Unfamiliar environment. No one is a winner here. OP is right to be feeling down about her situation. She'll have to make the best of a sh*t situation now. We all learn from experience.

I have been away with a 9 mo and a 19 mo on holidays years ago. DH's idea both times. What a coincidence OP🤣

I found travelling with 5/6 mo EBF babies one of the best times because they are so portable (all you need is your boobs) and they stay where you put them! Worst age definitely 16/18 months to 3 years.
Howver, the flight was always the worst and we never braved a 10 hour one!
I say get a good nights sleep if you can and see if it feels better in the morning.

Many years ago I remember my GP saying to me 'babies and very young children neither need or appreciate holidays, it is a waste of time taking them and a waste of money & effort'. At the time I thought he was being a bit anal and mean........did'nt take me long to understand his logic.
OP, I think you are all jet-lagged and exhausted from the journey, this will pass I am sure. Maybe, in time, your OH will come to realise that he made a bad decision. But it is done now, you're at your holiday destination so try to relax, take it a day at a time and don't be too adventurous for want of a better word. Put this down to experience, be kind to yourself and one another. You will get through this, it is only a holiday.

Why have you gone somewhere that's 10 hours away? Go to Spain. You can definitely have good and fun holidays with babies and toddlers but you need to be accommodating of their needs.

She's explained why. They are visiting family.

Well don't. Go on an easier holiday instead.

bit late

Well for next time, or for other mums that are thinking of going on holiday with theirs.

Ooh see Id rather take a 5 month old on a long journey than a 14 .month old. They older ones will be walking/crawling and won't want to be in the seat as well as being too big the bassinet

Op i was about to say, don't stress, you're there now , have fun, go and relax by the pool, don't divorce your husband, he's planned a lovely holiday for you... then you said you're there to visit friends and family. Now I'm mad on your behalf 😒

How long are you going for OP? (sorry if I missed that) Do you have enough time that you can take it easy for a day or so, resting as much as you can and easing into things? Things could look quite different once you've settled into the time difference a bit more and got over the funk of travelling.

We did a similar length flight when our DC was not far off a year old and the first day was a bit of a twilight zone (not least as we'd probably been awake for the best part of 24 hours by the end of it!) but had a wonderful time afterwards, and DC adapted to the time difference even quicker than us with naps. Breastfeeding was a godsend as DC could be taken care of whatever we were doing. Hope things look a bit brighter soon and you end up having a great time - you've done the hardest bit now!

OP you're just tired now & it'll feel better after a good sleep.

We brought our baby to Australia on our first trip when baby was 11 months old. We had 3 x flights of 1 hour, 13 hours & then 9 hours. We were (badly) advised by travel agent to do it all in one go, as opposed to breaking it up with an overnight in Singapore etc.

Baby got sick on the flight & was really ill for the first week which was hard & we were worried for sure. But we all bounced back & we were away for 3 months & we had a ball..

We've travelled a huge amount with dc after that & enjoyed it all. Baby is a young adult now & 100% has the travelling bug!

My top tips are get as much rest & sleep as you can
Ask your husband to step up & take over the care of the baby for next couple of days (apart from bf)
Work on your expectations of what a holiday is with a baby / child. It's not the same as a prebaby holiday. It's just different not worse.

I adored experiencing new places with our baby/ child. We found it allowed us to experience aspects of places more like a local might as we were in playgrounds or parks & supermarkets etc

Apartments all the way too at thus stage so you all have a bit of breathing space especially at night when dc is asleep

Plus you have a fridge (for wine & beer! As well as baby stuff) & a cooker for baby's breakfast etc & generally a washing machine. We didn't use all these things too much but good to know they were there if needed

We rarely, if ever, did a traditional beach resort holiday & we were in a lot of cities, several trips to Australia, USA, Canada, Thailand & all over Europe. We usually tried to have an apartment with a balcony so we could sit out in the evenings

Try to get over your anger & not let it ruin your trip

Haha. You'd need mental health issues to think long haul flights with a 6 month old is a good idea......

It's a completely normal reaction to being in a strange place, jetlagged, with an unsettled baby, with a partner/spouse who's in holiday mode.
Your post was tone-deaf @Candledrip

I'm annoyed with your DH on your behalf because I would have absolutely hated this at 6 months. It can be really hard to be assertive and advocate for yourself 6 months post partum when you're sleep deprived. No doubt there will have been guilt tripping about wanting family to meet the baby. Your DH should have listened seriously to your objections and taken them on board, but he didnt. Now you're having a miserable time and having to put on a brave face for (I'm guessing his) family. No wonder you're angry.

This isn't a holiday. Thinking of it as such will lead to more resentment. People will say try to relax and enjoy it but I know that in your shoes I would struggle to do that. Personally, I would reframe it in my mind as a business trip. I would tell myself I've just got to get through it rather than trying to force myself to enjoy it. Just remind yourself it's not forever, you'll soon be back home and then when the dust has settled and you're calm, you can sit DH down and explain that you won't be doing that again until baby is older and why you felt hurt and frustrated that your feelings weren't taken into account.