To be irritated about school swimming attire rules 'for girls'?

[BeFairSloth]

DD (10yo) does swimming lessons at school. The rules are that girls must wear a one piece swimming costume and we have of course adhered to the rules and purchased one specifically for these lessons.

DD is starting to get to the age where she's a bit more self-conscious of her own body and at home, prefers a tankini which has short-like bottoms and a full length tight (i.e. not flapping about everywhere) top. We encourage body confidence where we can, but I also want her to feel comfortable and confident in what she wears. I therefore asked whether her preferred tankini would be acceptable for lessons and was told no, girls must wear a one-piece.

On the other hand the boys all wear swim shorts and a few of them wear swim shorts with swim tops - the UV type ones.

I assume they're worried about a 'slippery slope' or girls starting to wear bikinis if they allow a full coverage tankini, but what is offensive about a girl's belly button, when most of the boys have their belly buttons out and some of them are even wearing two pieces?

I realise this is a small problem in the grand scheme of things, but it has left me (quietly, in my own home) quite irritated at the double standards. AIBU?

My DD is the same so i bought her a one piece suit that has shorts and extra material at the chest too
https://www.sportsdirect.com/speedo-womens-eco-endurance-legsuit-350230#colcode=35023003

Or

https://www.sportsdirect.com/speedo-girls-eco-endurance-legsuit-350220#colcode=35022003

Id be irritated too but I get why they have the rule

P.s. most of the boys in y sons class all wear swimming tops so I think they can be self conscious too

Is have bought the tankini, sent it and and not even pointed it out.

Kneeskins (as posted above) are the answer. This is what all serious/competitive swimmers wear anyway.

So you bought a set that there was a gap between the top and bottom?

I kind of get it. I'm a bit of a kill joy and think a sensible one piece for school activities and swimming lessons is correct. Not sure why people wear bikinis at a swimming pool. Think tankinks are universally dreadful.

Also what do you mean at home? Do you have pool at home <totally missing the point>

My girls always had one piece suits as then they are in them and they don't have to hoik them up or pull them down all of the time. If anything, they are more practical than boys suits, not less.

She could wear a rash vest over her costume if the pool allows them. A lot of pools don't.

No, we don't have a pool at home. I meant that she already owned the tankini for use when we go swimming as a family. I have bought her a one-piece for school swimming lessons, so that she's following the rules.

Her tankini is sensible, with no gap between the top and bottom (not that I think a centimetre of skin should be a problem) and she prefers the extra coverage of the short bottoms and also finds it easier to use the toilet with a tankini than a one piece.

To be honest, I think it's the double standards about what is "suitable" for boys and girls that's irritating me.

If she is feeling self conscious then she can choose the "boy short" swimming costumes that cover more of the body. I have one with a racer back.

If you give an inch children do take a mile and will come to swimming lessons in smaller and higher cut costumes. I volunteered in a school with a 90 year intake and supervised the swim run for many years. 180 children every week from 2 year groups.

Tankini opens up a whole host of what a tankini covers, some are very short others are not and teachers do not want to be taking up time deciding which ones are acceptable hence the one piece stipulation. A lot of pools do not allow rash vests for boys.

What about the shorts over the top of her one piece?

But there clearly are different standards for girls and boys, for obvious reasons. The rule is to prevent girls wearing bikinis, which are not suitable for children and often not suitable for proper swimming.

If her tankini has virtually no gap then surely no one will mind or notice?

Who told you no?

There are allowances made at our swimming pools for certain things like neurodivergence or religion, where girls might wear swim shorts and rash vest or the full length or 3/4 2 pieces. Same with boys, we had a few wore rash vests as well as shorts.

You can get a one piece with shorts or legs. Search leg suit.

My DD loves hers

Exactly this - search “legsuit” or “kneeskin”. This is what all competitive swimmers wear- no one has worn high cut cozzies for years.

Well boys don’t have to wear a top whereas girls should wear something on the top half hence different dress rules. Bikinis aren’t suitable for pool swimming. Why not a one piece with shorts legs?

Can you get her the same as the boys wear? Then she's complaying to the rules.

I would have no time for anyone unable to see difference between a tankini which is a more convenient swimsuit and a skimpy bikini which presumably is what they don't want the girls wearing.

My DD always preferred a 2 piece. She wore shorts and a long sleeved rash vest. I can't see how anyone could insist on a one piece. Surely it should be about coverage?

I like a shorty swimming costume for the extra coverage. That would be a good option next time (there are some very cheap ones on Temu if only needed for a very short period).

While I think your suggestion is fine, the school then gets 'but she's wearing a two piece ' as the bikinis get progressively smaller. It's easier just to say no from the school's perspective..

If you’re jumping in the pool with a Tankini on, the top can ride up and expose you - particularly the case if you’re flatter chested. Instead, I’d get something with built in shorts or put shorts over the top

Can she not wear boys shorts and rash vest

Would then school even notice it wasn't a one-piece then? I'd just send her in it and see what happens.

This, my swimsuit is like a long fitted vest top and cycling shorts style, I don’t think anyone would be able to tell from a distance it wasn’t a one piece

I think it's the double standards about what is "suitable" for boys and girls that's irritating me

I honestly don't think that anyone is going to care if she wears the boys version. They just want her suitably dressed for the lesson.

Some parents at my DD's school insisted that the uniform list were issued without any reference to sex and the school were quite surprised as boys do wear the cardigan and girls do wear the shorts already.

If she wants to wear shorts and rash vest then they will let her, it's that not all tankinis meet in the middle