To be irritated about school swimming attire rules 'for girls'?

[BeFairSloth]

DD (10yo) does swimming lessons at school. The rules are that girls must wear a one piece swimming costume and we have of course adhered to the rules and purchased one specifically for these lessons.

DD is starting to get to the age where she's a bit more self-conscious of her own body and at home, prefers a tankini which has short-like bottoms and a full length tight (i.e. not flapping about everywhere) top. We encourage body confidence where we can, but I also want her to feel comfortable and confident in what she wears. I therefore asked whether her preferred tankini would be acceptable for lessons and was told no, girls must wear a one-piece.

On the other hand the boys all wear swim shorts and a few of them wear swim shorts with swim tops - the UV type ones.

I assume they're worried about a 'slippery slope' or girls starting to wear bikinis if they allow a full coverage tankini, but what is offensive about a girl's belly button, when most of the boys have their belly buttons out and some of them are even wearing two pieces?

I realise this is a small problem in the grand scheme of things, but it has left me (quietly, in my own home) quite irritated at the double standards. AIBU?

Wouldn't it be easier if the school asked for swim shorts and tops for everyone!!

I can only speak for for my DC, but children are expected to wear their swimming gear under their clothes. Wearing a swimming costume under school uniform is a complete pian for the arse for girls who need to use the toilet!

Wear swim shorts over the one piece or create a band and sew the top and bottom of tankini together.

Can we go back to this - I feel like I am missing a trick. I don't find going to the toilet in a one piece swimsuit under clothes incredibly easy at all. I pretty much have to get fully undressed which is super annoying in a button up shirt. Is there an easier way??

I bought a great costume from Speedo. High neck and shorts, all in one. Will try to link (but rubbish with link tech, sorry!)

This, plus if you go during or after swimming, getting a wet costume back on is faffy and just yuck.

It’s pita parents like OP, that makes working in schools so unpleasant. Stick to the rules.
If you make an adjustment for one person, you have to for all.
Yes it may only be a centimetre of flesh on your svelte daughter, but may not be for another student who wore a full coverage tankini.

@MightAsWellBeGretel expected by who?

@WhenYouSayNothingAtAll the school. They expect them to come in 'swim ready' with costumes on under their uniforms. Fine for the boys, not so great for girls in one piece costumes.

Exactly. Not easy for primary aged children at all.

Maybe I’m just feeling particularly grouchy this morning, but as a teacher I find it’s a bit like death by a thousand cuts with things like this. You can put the most simple rule in place and there’s always one or two parents who will want it to be changed for their one child and will waste time contacting you seeing if you’ll change the rules for their child or taking offence at the most simple rule. It’s exhausting.

Reminds me of the tiktok Bean Soup thing where someone posted a recipe for bean soup and was immediately flooded with comments of ‘but what about ME, I don’t like bean soup?’
www.delish.com/food-news/a45446065/tiktok-bean-soup-what-about-me/

The one-pieces with shorts posted by other people should be absolutely fine. A tankini would not be fine because then other girls will want to wear a bikini.

You can just shove the gusset aside with your hand.

Doesn't that just lead to pissing all over your hand, swimsuit and likely the toilet seat too?

Lovely!

Well obviously not, otherwise I wouldn't do it! I guess it doesn't work for everyone.

It's not a problem if you are able to do it properly.

No? Why would it?

lycra is stretchy, you can pull it well clear.

Get her a one piece with legs?

Not if you have the slightest coordination or sense, no.

Cancel the cheque.

My daughter wears a rash vest with boy short type bottoms to her school swimming classes. They are allowed to wear anything except bikinis or the shorter tankini styles

We're talking about primary aged children here!

Don’t let yourself get irritated by it - girls get breasts, it’s a fact. Boys and girls are not the same. Two pieces ride up and rash vests can fill with water. We are not allowed board short type trunks for boys - have to be tight trunks as shorts fill with air/water and make lessons harder.
many girls wear all in one suits with longer legs and schools have to allow leggings etc.. school just needs to be practical. I think it is easy to let yourself get too worked up about this sort of thing but need to show our kids when to choose battles and when to accept that the rules are a compromise and take them on board. Probably no one would say anything if you sent her in appropriately covered in a two piece but they are not going to explicitly say it because then you will get bikinis.

Any wonder there's a serious teacher shortage

OP's DD is 10, I'm sure she can manage.