To be irritated about school swimming attire rules 'for girls'?

[BeFairSloth]

DD (10yo) does swimming lessons at school. The rules are that girls must wear a one piece swimming costume and we have of course adhered to the rules and purchased one specifically for these lessons.

DD is starting to get to the age where she's a bit more self-conscious of her own body and at home, prefers a tankini which has short-like bottoms and a full length tight (i.e. not flapping about everywhere) top. We encourage body confidence where we can, but I also want her to feel comfortable and confident in what she wears. I therefore asked whether her preferred tankini would be acceptable for lessons and was told no, girls must wear a one-piece.

On the other hand the boys all wear swim shorts and a few of them wear swim shorts with swim tops - the UV type ones.

I assume they're worried about a 'slippery slope' or girls starting to wear bikinis if they allow a full coverage tankini, but what is offensive about a girl's belly button, when most of the boys have their belly buttons out and some of them are even wearing two pieces?

I realise this is a small problem in the grand scheme of things, but it has left me (quietly, in my own home) quite irritated at the double standards. AIBU?

Was that to me?

Those leg suits that have been posted in the links are ideal for a girl who wants a bit more coverage than is offered by a regular swimsuit. Pity you've already bought the one-piece, OP! If the label is still on, could you return it and get a leg suit?

What double standard? Are boys allowed bikinis and girls not? I presume boys wear shorts and no tops so would people who think there is a double standard be OK with girls/tweens/teens be ok with no top? Really?

That's so dumb. The girls want to wear a costume that covers more, so more like shorts the boys can wear. The boys are allowed to wear two pieces, the equivalent of a tankini the girls are not allowed to wear.

Many school boys wear rash vests now, so the double standard is not allowing girls to also wear swim shorts and a rash vest.

I really don't see any double standards here and I see double standards everywhere usually! There are obvious needs for 10 year old girls to wear something on their top half when boys don't. Some boys want to cover up more, so wear a rash vest. No one has said girls can't wear a rash vest in addition to their swimsuit. No one has said that the swimsuits can't have sleeves or longer legs. Everyone can cover up more if they want.

Tankini bottoms over the swimsuit or buy a swimsuit that has a full brief or longer.

If we are talking primary age kids a tankini or extra shorts on top means extra items that can be left in the changing room or mixed up. A one piece means 1 item to shove in a bag and easier to identify the owner of… just a different perspective from a teacher with whole class swimming lesson experience.

Having worked in a school the reality is that it would not be a leap from tankini to thong bikini for some parents. None uniform day was a nightmare and what is considered appropriate dress varies enormously from parent to parent. The boundary is there to take this extra responsibility and hassle away from the staff who are there to supervise swimming.

She can wear the tankini shorts over her costume. They can hardly object to that.

You can get loads of one piece swimsuits with tankini style bottom half. In supermarkets, sports shops, online. Just get her one of those.

Speaking as a teacher, I honestly wouldn't give a toss about this. Send her in in the tankini.

There are obvious needs for 10 year old girls to wear something on their top half when boys don't.

To cover their chests, yes. To cover their belly buttons, no. The female navel is no more offensive than the male one.

If it were up to me, boys and girls would have to wear rash vests in the pool, but then I'm a prude.

Our school has the same rule, but they also ask for children to be changed into their swimwear underneath their clothes for half the day. That's pretty silly and difficult for a 6 year old given they'll have to take off all their clothes just to go to the loo. So we've said nothing, sent her in her Tankini and nobody mentioned it.

Having accompanied a class swimming, then there are definitely some parents that believe bikinis/tankinis are ok, resulting in staff having to ask children to wear their school t shirts over the top (and then find them a new t shirt when back at school, luckily this was only a couple of girls).

As someone else suggested, wear the one piece and then put the tankini shorts over it.

It’s really not fair on staff to expect them to be making decisions about whether each individual child’s swimwear of all things is appropriate . That’s why they have rules. Just get your daughter a one-piece with longer legs. Loads of kids have them, boys and girls, our DC has one with uv protection, which makes life much easier on the rare occasions we are somewhere sunny with a pool.

When she has it on is it obvious it's a tankini? So it there a gap between the top and the bottom and are they the same colour. I absolutely love my tankini and would never go back to a one piece now. The top and the bottom are totally different colours so it is really obvious but if they were the same colour noone would know

So the girls are required to wear a tight form fitting swimsuit but the boys can wear baggy swim shorts (like board shorts?) and rashies? The boys aren’t required to wear tight form fitting swim briefs like Speedos? That would be the equivalent. So yeah, fuck that. If boys can have loose baggy coverage of their body then so can the girls. Send her in something that covers her tummy and breasts and that she’s comfortable in.

Where I am a rashie (sun shirt) is compulsory to be worn for school swimming. Banning them seems ridiculous to me. Are pools indoors or outdoors there?

The rule is a one piece.
She had a two piece!
Boys are wearing extra not less… you don’t make sense!

Your tankini may be fine. But someone else may then decide to have a tankini which is not fine. The staff don’t have time to create detailed lists of rules about length, type etc - a simple rule is easier.

There is a double standard in life with men routinely going topless and women not. That double standard continues in the swimming pool with men and boys going topless.
There is no easy answer although I do sympathise, especially when it comes to using the toilet with a one piece swimsuit on.

Why are bikinis not suitable for children?

Whereas I think swimsuits are universally awful and separate tops and bottoms make much more sense. Why do women and girls have to swim in high cut leotards which give you a horrible wedgie?

I don't know why there is hardly any swimming gear around in the UK that is based on shorts and a vest top - more like what you would wear in the gym.

Nonsense. The girls equivalent is the boyleg one piece that they are allowed to wear and is easily available.

It's not a double standard to have different requirements for boys and girls

You’re quite right to be irritated. School uniform rules can be so petty.

I remember when a lot of schools didn’t allow girls to wear trousers to school and insisted on tiny PE skirts rather than shorts or track bottoms.

They do eventually change with the times and become less sexist.