To be irritated about school swimming attire rules 'for girls'?

[BeFairSloth]

DD (10yo) does swimming lessons at school. The rules are that girls must wear a one piece swimming costume and we have of course adhered to the rules and purchased one specifically for these lessons.

DD is starting to get to the age where she's a bit more self-conscious of her own body and at home, prefers a tankini which has short-like bottoms and a full length tight (i.e. not flapping about everywhere) top. We encourage body confidence where we can, but I also want her to feel comfortable and confident in what she wears. I therefore asked whether her preferred tankini would be acceptable for lessons and was told no, girls must wear a one-piece.

On the other hand the boys all wear swim shorts and a few of them wear swim shorts with swim tops - the UV type ones.

I assume they're worried about a 'slippery slope' or girls starting to wear bikinis if they allow a full coverage tankini, but what is offensive about a girl's belly button, when most of the boys have their belly buttons out and some of them are even wearing two pieces?

I realise this is a small problem in the grand scheme of things, but it has left me (quietly, in my own home) quite irritated at the double standards. AIBU?

I'd take the one-piece and tankini shorts.

Schools have to have the simplest rule to manage a minimum expected standard. It's too convoluted to have a paragraph detailing fit and coverage. "One-piece" covers 97% of decency issues in two words. No fussing around to distinguish the acceptable boundaries of lengths, or stringy triangles.

So buy a swimsuit with the short legs in then.

They do ones with long or short bottoms.

She can always wear a tight rash vest over the top if she chooses.

They don't have to. Nobody I know wears a "high cut leotard". There is a huge range of swimwear available, from tiny bikinis through to full body coverage.
Making things up to prove your point is not helpful.

You obviously haven't seen them training,

It's swimsuits that tie up, no back, high leg or swimming trunks for boys. (At my sons club at least) 😂

It's the race suits which are full on coverage and that's because they are compression suits designed to worn for the race and removed. They also would not be what you buy for school swimming lessons as they are ££££££ssssss 😵‍💫

The school policy should describe a range of things as acceptable and also what isn't and should not be male/female specific. It's not hard and just requires ten minutes of thought.

I'd have just sent her in the tankini and not said anything. It's considerably more appropriate to the task than a vile one piece.

The thing is with tankinis (or bikinis) is that they don't always fit or stay in the right places. I have seen on holiday young girls that are uncomfortable where the top is riding up, or coming down low as the cut is made for a different body (more developed/less developed it really depends on the cut/outfit).
In a swimming lesson they will be swimming constantly, so it would be disruptive if they have to keep stopping to adjust their costume and this could also make them feel more awkward if any mishaps happen. I imagine the teacher is also fearful of this happening too hence the rule.

There are plenty of full coverage one piece suits. Why didn’t you get one of those. It seems like you are making a needless fuss IMO

It's absolutely to stop a parent saying a bikini is fine because your DD got away with wearing a tankini. DD had one to this but there are knee length ones too. At secondary they wore PE shorts over the swimsuit if they wanted.

NABAIJI Girls’ swimming 1-piece shorty swimsuit - blue
£9.99
www.decathlon.co.uk/p/_/R-p-348081?mc=8852070

I think they probably have the one-piece rule so that they can enforce it in the case of someone wearing a tiny bikini. I doubt they’d worry about a full coverage tankini.

Sometimes universal rules are there only in case they are needed. A blind eye will be turned often.

But swimsuits can also not fit properly or stay in place. I wear a tankini for proper swimming, waterparks and messing about in the sea and it stays where it should.

There is not a huge range, particularly at certain times of the year and not even online. Not like there should be. There is a huge range of fashion swimwear for posing in and not actually swimming, there is not a huge range of sporty swimwear which also looks nice to lie in around the pool. I know because I look for it every year!

That's nice but would be better as a vest and shorts so you can actually go to the toilet.

And loads of people wear a high cut swimsuit because even in the sporty Speedo kind that is still the default one piece shape for women.

It's incredibly easy to go to the toilet in a boyleg swimsuit

It's their choice. It's not a default. Complaining you have to because some people choose to, when you have endless other options is ridiculous.

There is a huge range. I literally just went swimsuit shopping and the available range is extensive. I bought three different one pieces that are not high cut.
I could have bought a full niqab bikini I'd wanted to.

It's so much easier in a two piece. Particularly when have a uniform over the top as you have swimming first thing.

Get shorts and a uv top for your daughter. School can’t say anything and she’ll be covered like she wants. My dd wore girls surf shorts and a rash vest for a couple of years.

Lots of girls af my DCs school wear this sort of thing from Speedo. I don't see the problem with requiring a one piece. (our school is even stricter - swimwear must be black)

Please explain how this is possible.

This would work. I used to do this at my kids’ swimming lessons - short board shorts like you’d wear for surfing. She may not want to as it might make her ‘stand out’ more but I can’t see the school having a leg to stand on if they object, if that’s what the boys are wearing.

You're joking, right?

A one piece with short-type legs is your solution.
As for your argument about double standards for boys and girls - do you really think girls should be allowed to swim topless like the boys??

Our school actually prefer tankinis, I think because they are easier to change out of. Would she be allowed board shorts over her swimming costume?

Just get the darned suit with short-type bottoms? What’s the difference between that and a tankini, except that it’s one piece ?
They clearly don’t want the girls wearing bikinis and having to worry that they will move and come off.