Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Hogging the hot tub

219 replies

Twobroschillininahottub · 04/03/2025 21:04

I'm a member of a spa local to me and go regularly to swim. Always relax in the jacuzzi/hot tub for a bit afterwards. I've never seen the like today- 2 men were in the hot tub for, I shit you not, an hour and a half. They were in there while I swam lengths for over an hour. No sign of them getting out and I saw other swimmers looking, clearly waiting for them to shift so they could have a turn. After over an hour of swimming I'm not caring, I wanted a rest so I got in (room for 6 people).

They stayed in there for another half hour!

AIBU that this is just not on and you move on to let people have a shot of the hot tub? There are plenty of other facilities like sauna and so on that they could have moved on to.

OP posts:
mathanxiety · 05/03/2025 23:57

If the temperature was 40°, the maximum time they should have been in it is 15 mins. It would have been safe to stay up to half an hour if it was cooler.

mathanxiety · 05/03/2025 23:58

Jabberwok · 05/03/2025 21:04

But I as a man might. I belonged to gym about the year 2000. The steam room on a Saturday afternoon had a great conversation every week. So we'd sit there sweating like Rachel Reeves in a maths exam.

You don't personally own the hot tub...you don't get to dictate who uses it and for how long...get you're own spa bath..

Show quote history

You as a man might care to look up the effect of prolonged heat on a regular basis on your fertility.

Jabberwok · 06/03/2025 17:34

mathanxiety · 05/03/2025 23:58

You as a man might care to look up the effect of prolonged heat on a regular basis on your fertility.

Show quote history

Given I'm in my mid 50s now, it's not an issue. But yes you are right, it's a potential problem causing thing.

Tessabelle74 · 06/03/2025 18:58

I work in a spa, that's unusual behaviour but there's space for 6 and only 2 in it, if people are too weird to only get in if they're the only one in there they should get a lazy spa at home 🤷

Airspice · 06/03/2025 19:17

I’m with you OP, it’s selfish. Ok there’s room for 6 but some people might feel too intimidated getting in a hot tub with 2 men in it so may (fruitlessly) prefer to wait until they get out…..and they didn’t! Or a group of three friends might feel it’ll be too crowded to get in with the men so will wait for them to get out…..and they didn’t! Yes it seats 6 but that’s a cosy gathering with people you know let alone don’t know! People are arseholes!

Trishyb10 · 06/03/2025 19:17

Etiquette just to stay ten mins or so and then let other people use, there should be a notice up,people who stay in ages are ignorants also i find it awkward going in when its all men

Santina · 06/03/2025 19:27

Twobroschillininahottub · 04/03/2025 21:30

I don't think you use any facility at a spa for an hour and a half. You move on so that people can use everything. I've never seen anyone park up like that for so long.

Show quote history

Maybe you shouldn't be swimming for over an hour then, you might be stopping someone else.

Regardless of the time they were in there, imagine all that dead skin from them, and you got in it 🤢

Ilovecleaning · 06/03/2025 19:30

I am definitely unreasonable but I used to hate sharing sauna space with men at the gym/ sauna I used to go to. Loud, guffawing, spreading their arms and legs and taking up too much space, plunging in the plunge pool like elephants, spluttering and noisy, then spitting in it.. I stopped going eventually. There should have been a Ladies Only Day! 😊

CandyCane457 · 06/03/2025 19:33

Twobroschillininahottub · 04/03/2025 21:30

No I don't...

I don't mind getting in.

Show quote history

Then what’s the problem? I don’t get it. Whenever I’m at a spa I would always just get in if someone else was in the hot tub, if there was room. Which there was plenty of room for you today, so I don’t get the issue.

If it’s quiet (which it sounds like it was, they were in there for an hour and a half on their own and no one else got in apart from you, after 90mins of them being there) they aren’t harming anyone.

This would only irritate me if there were two men in the hot tub for an hour and a half, and four other people rotating. And then I went to get in and there was no room, and the two men STILL didn’t get out. But that wasn’t the case for you today.

IMO they did nothing wrong.

asrl78 · 06/03/2025 19:59

ThatsNotMyTeen · 04/03/2025 21:51

Does it stay on solidly? At the gym I go to it goes on in cycles and you have to get out between times.

Anyway YA probably U as there was space, but I am always amazed at the amount of men there are in the spa at our gym no matter when you go. Always overrun by fucking men. Drives me mad.

Would it be any better if it was overrun by fucking women? Surely rammed full and having to queue is annoying no matter which gender is in front of you.

MaryJane87 · 06/03/2025 20:06

Completely agree OP. A lot of these comments are quite odd and a bit of an unnecessary pile on IMO.

Maybe it comes down to personality type to some degree, as some people probably don't notice or care about these things. But it would bother me and a lot of my friends would find this annoying and entitled behaviour of the men. We'd prob deploy the period talk tactic (or similar) to get them to move as someone else said - loved that!!

When I've been to spas with my partner or a friend we've definitely always been conscious not to stay in jacuzzis etc too long because people often attend these places on their own and are likely to prefer it when the hot tub is either empty or only has one or two others on their own (because it's quieter and more of a neutral/relaxing atmosphere). I would also just feel self conscious loudly talking in there whilst hogging it! But again, maybe personality type!

The fact it was two blokes so women may have felt self conscious getting in is also a factor IMO, as others have said.

Thefsm · 06/03/2025 22:07

I take my book and read in the hot spa at my gym. Why not - I pay for my membership. I would never judge anyone for using a space when there is still room for others. What was stopping you and the other swimmers from using the larger one?

Yourcatisnotsorry · 07/03/2025 07:47

You swam for an hour taking up a swim lane. why is use of one pool for that time ok but another not? They weren’t hogging if there was space for others which there clearly was as you joined.

brunettemic · 07/03/2025 08:02

IfIHadAHeart · 05/03/2025 04:47

This thread is bizarre. The responses, not the OP itself.

I would have felt uncomfortable getting in the hot tub if I was on my own. I’d probably have got in if I was with someone else, but not on my own. A six-person hot tub isn’t that big, so it would be impossible to get in it without being relatively close to them. A lone female, wearing very little, in close proximity to two unknown males who are already demonstrating entitled behaviour? No thanks.

OP did get in, and good on her for doing so. I wouldn’t have, being a victim of an assault that took place in not massively dissimilar environment. I find it strange that everyone is falling over themselves to say it was fine, without any consideration as to why others may not have felt comfortable.

Aside from that, I think it’s poor manners to monopolise any shared facility that you’ve not paid for exclusive use of.

But they weren’t monopolising it or showing entitled behaviour. It’s been clearly stated there’s room for others in there and they were doing nothing other than sitting in there.

TheGoogleMum · 07/03/2025 08:13

I actually agree OP that being in that long is hogging it. It's different to the pool - the pool is less intimate and can fit more people in. If it was a sauna or steam room for that length of time is hogging too. Also not good for you to use any of these for that length of time! I've been known to go over 20 mins before but an hour and a half is taking the piss a bit. They should get their own garden hot tub if they want to be in so long!

Twogonksandapencil · 07/03/2025 08:18

I can relate to this. Same happens at my gym, it is nearly always men who do this and they stay in for ages, even if it's full, so they are taking up spaces that other people could use. It is very frustrating.

tweddler · 07/03/2025 08:23

Twogonksandapencil · 07/03/2025 08:18

I can relate to this. Same happens at my gym, it is nearly always men who do this and they stay in for ages, even if it's full, so they are taking up spaces that other people could use. It is very frustrating.

If the hot tub is full, then it's not the same as OP's case where it was 2/3 empty, and there were plenty of spaces for others.

Original poster
Twobroschillininahottub · 07/03/2025 09:17

Yourcatisnotsorry · 07/03/2025 07:47

You swam for an hour taking up a swim lane. why is use of one pool for that time ok but another not? They weren’t hogging if there was space for others which there clearly was as you joined.

There are no lanes in the pool. It’s normal to swim for an hour.

OP posts:
rwalker · 07/03/2025 09:33

Irrespective what anyone’s views are if they were right or wrong
ultimately there action had zero impact on anyone else as there was always 4 available places in the hot tub so complete non issue

New posts on this thread. Refresh page