Page 5 | Hogging the hot tub

Twobroschillininahottub · 2025-03-04T21:04:11+00:00

I'm a member of a spa local to me and go regularly to swim. Always relax in the jacuzzi/hot tub for a bit afterwards. I've never seen the like today- 2 men were in the hot tub for, I shit you not, an hour and a half. They were in there while I swam lengths for over an hour. No sign of them getting out and I saw other swimmers looking, clearly waiting for them to shift so they could have a turn. After over an hour of swimming I'm not caring, I wanted a rest so I got in (room for 6 people). They stayed in there for another half hour! AIBU that this is just not on and you move on to let people have a shot of the hot tub? There are plenty of other facilities like sauna and so on that they could have moved on to.

mrsm43s · 04/03/2025 22:47

Twobroschillininahottub · 04/03/2025 22:43

demanding exclusive use of

No one is demanding exclusive use of it

Good. Then you'll realise that there were still 4 free spaces and therefore it was quite reasonable for them to stay in as long as they like, since there were plenty of spaces available.

ItShouldntHappenToMeYet · 04/03/2025 22:51

Twobroschillininahottub · 04/03/2025 22:44

Oh, that's the real issue! If it were 2 women discussing world politics would that be acceptable.

Weird take. Rude is rude regardless of sex.

But you keep batting on that it was 2 blokes talking loudly about work. So you made it about sex. The sex of the bath-hoggers is irrelevant.

Thunderpants88 · 04/03/2025 22:54

Yeah you are unreasonable. Likelyhood is if 4 more people had got in they would have left.

they have paid to be there and they can plonk themselves anywhere they want for however long they want.

if there was a queue for the hot tub and people standing waiting that is a difference matter altogether

Original poster

Twobroschillininahottub · 04/03/2025 22:54

@mrsm43s

I don't realise that. You can't possible know who would like to use the hot tub in a spa at any given time so, especially when it's busy, it's polite to move on after a half hour at most I would say so that people can swap in and out freely. Works every other day that I go and no one settles in for that long.

There have been some days when there's only been me and one other person in the pool and the spa is very very quiet. On a day like that it would go unnoticed. On a busy day it's polite to shift your arse and move on.

If you want to lounge about in a hot tub for longer then get one for your garden.

OP posts:

Original poster

Twobroschillininahottub · 04/03/2025 22:56

@ItShouldntHappenToMeYet

But you keep batting on that it was 2 blokes talking loudly about work. So you made it about sex. The sex of the bath-hoggers is irrelevant.

Should I have lied and said they were women?

OP posts:

ItShouldntHappenToMeYet · 04/03/2025 22:57

Twobroschillininahottub · 04/03/2025 22:56

@ItShouldntHappenToMeYet

But you keep batting on that it was 2 blokes talking loudly about work. So you made it about sex. The sex of the bath-hoggers is irrelevant.

Should I have lied and said they were women?

No need to lie, no need to mention their sex.
You kept mentioning that they were men.

Original poster

Twobroschillininahottub · 04/03/2025 22:58

No need to lie, no need to mention their sex.
You kept mentioning that they were men.

They were men

OP posts:

ItShouldntHappenToMeYet · 04/03/2025 22:59

Twobroschillininahottub · 04/03/2025 22:58

No need to lie, no need to mention their sex.
You kept mentioning that they were men.

They were men

Hilarious

Original poster

Twobroschillininahottub · 04/03/2025 23:00

@ItShouldntHappenToMeYet

What do you want me to call them?

OP posts:

ItShouldntHappenToMeYet · 04/03/2025 23:03

Twobroschillininahottub · 04/03/2025 23:00

@ItShouldntHappenToMeYet

What do you want me to call them?

You simply could have written 'two people were hogging the tub' and talking loudly
But you kept repeating that they were men, talking loudly about work.

Original poster

Twobroschillininahottub · 04/03/2025 23:04

@ItShouldntHappenToMeYet

Why should I call them people and not men?

OP posts:

Titasaducksarse · 04/03/2025 23:04

I don't get the issue. OK they were in there ages but so what.
I just muscle in if I want to use the jacuzzi and people are spreading out.
I hope no one is judging my sauna use...I stay in for about 20 mins a time.

Original poster

Twobroschillininahottub · 04/03/2025 23:09

Titasaducksarse · 04/03/2025 23:04

I don't get the issue. OK they were in there ages but so what.
I just muscle in if I want to use the jacuzzi and people are spreading out.
I hope no one is judging my sauna use...I stay in for about 20 mins a time.

20 minutes is 👌🏻

OP posts:

mrsm43s · 04/03/2025 23:10

Twobroschillininahottub · 04/03/2025 22:54

@mrsm43s

I don't realise that. You can't possible know who would like to use the hot tub in a spa at any given time so, especially when it's busy, it's polite to move on after a half hour at most I would say so that people can swap in and out freely. Works every other day that I go and no one settles in for that long.

There have been some days when there's only been me and one other person in the pool and the spa is very very quiet. On a day like that it would go unnoticed. On a busy day it's polite to shift your arse and move on.

If you want to lounge about in a hot tub for longer then get one for your garden.

If the tub was full, you'd have a point. It wasn't and so you don't.

You know that no-one else wants to use the hot tub when there's four unused spaces in the hot tub. It's that simple. There's space for people to use it, they're not using it, therefore they clearly don't want to use it.

If someone is not using it because they want exclusive (or single sex) use of a shared mix sex tub then they are being rude and entitled to expect that.

If you want exclusive use of a hot tub (or to control who uses it and for how long) then get one for your garden.

ItShouldntHappenToMeYet · 04/03/2025 23:12

Twobroschillininahottub · 04/03/2025 23:04

@ItShouldntHappenToMeYet

Why should I call them people and not men?

Give over. You are just being goady now.

Original poster

Twobroschillininahottub · 04/03/2025 23:15

@ItShouldntHappenToMeYet

Give over. You are just being goady now.

I do not know why you think I shouldn't have called them men. If you think sex is irrelevant then why does it matter that I'm calling them men, which they are.

OP posts:

pastaandpesto · 04/03/2025 23:16

OP I completely understand what you are saying and I find this thread fascinating and actually quite illuminating in terms of explaining the thought process behind entitled behaviour. Not you, obviously, and not even the men in question (although I agree with you BTW, they absolutely were very rude). It's the number of posters who are gleefully insisting that these men did absolutely nothing wrong because they weren't breaking any rules, there was a space available at all times, and that if other bathers didn't feel comfortable then that is their problem.

It's this mindset of unless something is explicitly prohibited then it's basically a green light to do whatever the fuck you like without giving a shiny shit about how someone else might be impacted that is so bloody depressing.

There are plenty of reasons why a woman might feel uncomfortable about sharing a hot tub with an unknown man, one of them being if she is a survivor of sexual abuse. Sensible, considerate usage by all members would make it likely that women in this position would be able to find the opportunity to enjoy a few minutes in the hottub during her swim. The behaviour of these men was absolutely self centred and it's a real shame more people can't see that.

Original poster

Twobroschillininahottub · 04/03/2025 23:17

@mrsm43s

If you want exclusive use of a hot tub (or to control who uses it and for how long) then get one for your garden.

I don't want to control who uses it or for how long, and it didn't stop me getting in. I still believe it to be rude behaviour.

OP posts:

mrsm43s · 04/03/2025 23:19

Twobroschillininahottub · 04/03/2025 23:17

@mrsm43s

If you want exclusive use of a hot tub (or to control who uses it and for how long) then get one for your garden.

I don't want to control who uses it or for how long, and it didn't stop me getting in. I still believe it to be rude behaviour.

You believe wrong.

Original poster

Twobroschillininahottub · 04/03/2025 23:21

pastaandpesto · 04/03/2025 23:16

OP I completely understand what you are saying and I find this thread fascinating and actually quite illuminating in terms of explaining the thought process behind entitled behaviour. Not you, obviously, and not even the men in question (although I agree with you BTW, they absolutely were very rude). It's the number of posters who are gleefully insisting that these men did absolutely nothing wrong because they weren't breaking any rules, there was a space available at all times, and that if other bathers didn't feel comfortable then that is their problem.

It's this mindset of unless something is explicitly prohibited then it's basically a green light to do whatever the fuck you like without giving a shiny shit about how someone else might be impacted that is so bloody depressing.

There are plenty of reasons why a woman might feel uncomfortable about sharing a hot tub with an unknown man, one of them being if she is a survivor of sexual abuse. Sensible, considerate usage by all members would make it likely that women in this position would be able to find the opportunity to enjoy a few minutes in the hottub during her swim. The behaviour of these men was absolutely self centred and it's a real shame more people can't see that.

I think they can see it but that's just the way it is on Mumsnet- posters like to be contrary for the hell of it.

I don't believe for a second that most people actually think sitting in a communal hot tub for an hour and a half isn't rude and entitled.
The flow of the spa on a busy day relies on people moving around the facilities.

OP posts:

Original poster

Twobroschillininahottub · 04/03/2025 23:22

@mrsm43s

Thanks for your input 👍🏻

OP posts:

BeaAndBen · 04/03/2025 23:27

They can stay in as long as they like. I’ve stayed in for over an hour as a spa because it’s lovely for my joints. It’s the main reason I went.

Use the facilities or don’t use them. You don’t get to ration use by other people.

mrsm43s · 04/03/2025 23:33

pastaandpesto · 04/03/2025 23:16

OP I completely understand what you are saying and I find this thread fascinating and actually quite illuminating in terms of explaining the thought process behind entitled behaviour. Not you, obviously, and not even the men in question (although I agree with you BTW, they absolutely were very rude). It's the number of posters who are gleefully insisting that these men did absolutely nothing wrong because they weren't breaking any rules, there was a space available at all times, and that if other bathers didn't feel comfortable then that is their problem.

It's this mindset of unless something is explicitly prohibited then it's basically a green light to do whatever the fuck you like without giving a shiny shit about how someone else might be impacted that is so bloody depressing.

There are plenty of reasons why a woman might feel uncomfortable about sharing a hot tub with an unknown man, one of them being if she is a survivor of sexual abuse. Sensible, considerate usage by all members would make it likely that women in this position would be able to find the opportunity to enjoy a few minutes in the hottub during her swim. The behaviour of these men was absolutely self centred and it's a real shame more people can't see that.

Ridiculous.

If you have issues sharing a communal mixed sex facility, then you don't sign up for a club with communal, mixed sex facilities.

Plenty of places offer women only facilities or women only sessions (I've just come back from one myself this evening). This is where/when you go if you want women only.

To suggest that men (or anyone) who want to use the facility should get out and leave it empty on the off chance that someone who only wants a women only space/exclusive use but deliberately signed up for a shared mixed sex space might just happen to come along is bonkers.

If the hot tub was full, yeah, move on after 20 mins or so. But when there's still unused spaces available, stay in it as long as you like.

YesThatsATurdOnTheRug · 04/03/2025 23:38

mrsm43s · 04/03/2025 23:33

Ridiculous.

If you have issues sharing a communal mixed sex facility, then you don't sign up for a club with communal, mixed sex facilities.

Plenty of places offer women only facilities or women only sessions (I've just come back from one myself this evening). This is where/when you go if you want women only.

To suggest that men (or anyone) who want to use the facility should get out and leave it empty on the off chance that someone who only wants a women only space/exclusive use but deliberately signed up for a shared mixed sex space might just happen to come along is bonkers.

If the hot tub was full, yeah, move on after 20 mins or so. But when there's still unused spaces available, stay in it as long as you like.

Show quote history

Absolutely this.

They used an available facility in a non-exclusive fashion for a perfectly acceptable amount of time! They can stay all day if they like, the only time I would worry about limiting my time in a spa facility is if it were full and people were waiting. Otherwise why on earth not?!

Katbum · 04/03/2025 23:47

Honestly OP sounds as if you don’t have enough going on in your life (or else you are massively displacing huge stress). Two people were in a six people space. Why would they move if no one else got in or asked them to move on? I mean, if you were swimming for 90mins presumably you were taking capacity in the pool that hypothetically someone else could have used, but didn’t? You’ve even said there is another bigger tub that others could use so it’s not like these customers deprived anyone else of the experience of a hot tub. You have no idea why they were there, what they were discussing, what they did before, injuries they may be dealing with etc. It’s a total non issue, none of your business and the fact you were timing them and took it upon yourself to get in the tub as some kind of lesson suggests you have some issues that are not to do with other people’s hot tub use! And if you are that concerned about other people’s etiquette the thing to do is speak to them ‘hey, you’re not supposed to be the hot tub that long, other people are waiting for it.’