Boys going to the gents by themselves what age?

[Khgvnjj]

Ds is turning 7 and increasingly wants to go to the public toilets by himself. I grew up in a household of only women so no experience of this. When sis your boys start going to the gents by themselves? Did you put any caveats in place?

I want to be able to have a bowel movement or open a tampon without a listening audience of boys on the verge of puberty, thanks.

@CheeseWisely just because you don't feel uncomfortable it don't mean others don't. I posted not long before you that I had that experience and felt uncomfortable

Why is it not acceptable to take a young pre pubescent boy into the ladies? But it’s ok to use the disabled toilets??

The suggestions I’ve seen on this thread for using the disabled toilets are for those with boys with special needs. If they are not be able to use the toilet alone then they are disabled and can use the disabled toilets.

My friend has a 15 year old son with autism. He can now use the men’s alone most of the time. But even now if she doesn’t feel he will be safe in the men’s he uses the disabled toilets. He’s absolutely huge now (around 6ft4) and even though he’s very young mentally she understands it’s totally inappropriate for him to be in the women’s toilets. So he uses the men’s if it’s a safer place and the disabled if not.

I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again. Every mother should assess each toilet and each child herself before making any decisions. I say this as the mother of a 13 year old who was assaulted in a men’s toilet. Abuse involves shame and with shame comes hiding. I strongly suspect flashing, watching, groping etc towards young boys in public toilets happens a lot more than we think.

Do not base your child’s safeguarding on MN threads.

Genuine question for boy mums..

If your son is at a birthday party or out with a friend (with their parents) or on a group trip.. but no male adult... what toilet do you think they should use?

How old? Is there a group of them using the loo or just one at a time? Where is the loo? Soft play? A train station? Really does depend

Oh gosh, I'm sorry to hear that your ds was assaulted...that's absolutely terrible.

Agree with everything you said

The men's but they go with a friend, never alone.

Becsue the children are disabled?

What ‘consequences’ will it have?
Will they become violent or more likely to carry out sexual assaults than females?

Fenale toilets are for women, girls and very small boys. It’s that simple.Women and their toilets are not shields for every male who may be vulnerable, otherwise where does it end.
16 year olds in the ladies? gay men in the ladies. Their vulnerability is little different to a 12 year old boy.

I think not from age 8 onwards. There is a reason why they say this at swimming pools. Girls can start puberty earlier. I think most girls 9/10 year old girls would be mortified meeting a boy from her class at the local ladies toilet and so would the boy be when it went round the class that mummy took him to the toilet.

Another reference to “on the verge of” - so again, you’re talking about a prepubescent boy.

Why does it matter to you whether it’s a boy or a girl hearing these things? What difference does it make?

I don't think anyone is interested in you changing your tampon or your bowel movements including pre pubescent boys @YankSplaining can't say I've ever paid attention to what another person is doing in the toilet

Where the hell did I say 17 was a child? Shit I had my own child whe I was 16 😂

My point was on another thread people were saying 6 and 7 year old boys should no way be allowed to enter the ladies toilet. Apparently they should go into the gents alone lest they make a lady feel "uncomfortable".

Some statistics for you around 95-99% of pedophiles are male. A lot of them do not necessarily care if their victim is male or female.

So no I will not send my 7 year old into the men's toilet alone just so you lot don't feel "uncomfortable"

I’m very interested in this thread as my son is only 5 and as a single parent, I don’t think I’d be comfortable him going into the men’s toilets alone until he is in like secondary school. I’m really into true crime content and I’ve heard some awful stories of what’s happened to children going into the bathrooms alone - I cannot bare that happening to my child. I think the only way when the children express wanting to go alone is to stand by the door and shout for them if they’ve been gone more than a couple of minutes - if they don’t answer then I’d go in.

Well I hope you don’t bump into me because I have told a boy, who I thought was about 10, to get out of the ladies toilet. His mother sent him in. She didn’t even go in with him.

I have attended many school trips. Boys do use the male toilets but only after they are checked by either a member of staff from the site we are visiting or by a teacher - if a female teacher, we will call out and knock before entering to check they are all empty.
Teacher will then stand outside while boys go in and stop anyone entering until all boys are out.
This usually stops after year 5 which is 10 year old.

The point is you didn’t mention any ages your post. You just said male children. And people are debating at what age they should go into the men’s. So you say 6/7 is fine. Is 8 ok? 9? This is what I’m asking. At what point is a male child old enough to go in alone. I actually agree with you that 6/7 should be in the women’s with their mothers. But some people on here say 11/12/13 is ok as well. And they are in fact still children at 13. So what age should they go alone?

I hated this stage. I ended up buying DS a basic brick phone so if there were long queues he could ring me. I think he was around 8 too.
I used to watch the entrance to the men's loos like a hawk and set a timer on my watch.

I haven’t read through this thread in detail but did want to tell you all something that happened to a former colleague’s son.

My former colleague and her nine year old son were in our local shopping centre. This shopping centre is small and familiar to everyone in our area. Her son wanted to go to the toilet so she waited outside while he went in. After a couple of minutes he hadn’t come out so she went in. A man was assaulting her son, thank goodness the assault did not go further than it already had because she interrupted it. Security and police were called and the man was arrested. He got three months in prison. This was over twenty years ago but it was awful for her and her boy.

I would never let a child in a public toilet alone based on what happened to him.

Oh come on, how pathetic. Do you really expect mothers to put their children into potentially risky situations so that only females can hear you, anonymously sitting in your private cubicle, rustling a plastic packet? Ridiculous.

The reality is that boys are at risk from male predators til their late teens. So unless you propose they use the women's til adulthood then an element of risk is a given.

In a store yes .Defo not in a public toilet in town (not many of them now now anyway!) If I was in the ladies and a little boy walked in I would not be "embarrassed" Otherwise at the park just hop behind a tree

The youngest male rapist was 11.