Boys going to the gents by themselves what age?

[Khgvnjj]

Ds is turning 7 and increasingly wants to go to the public toilets by himself. I grew up in a household of only women so no experience of this. When sis your boys start going to the gents by themselves? Did you put any caveats in place?

This^

Ds is really big and tall for his age so I imagine that by the time he's 6ish he'll look older than he actually is so I do worry other women won't be happy with him in the ladies loos with me earlier than other children. But then I think about children with additional needs or vulnerabilities who might need that support for a bit longer as well. Parents have to be able to choose what's the safest option for their kids at the end of the day and that depends on the individual child.

What age is “male children” though? That is the debate. At what point in your mind does a male child become a male adult for toileting purposes? 12? 14? 18? Because if you think allowing a 17 year old male “child” into the women’s toilets is fine then you’re crazy. It’s totally inappropriate.
What do you think happens to a person between the day they are 17 and the next day they are 18? Nothing happens. Which is why parents should be slowly getting their male children used to the men’s toilets while they are still children. Thankfully most male children will be totally embarrassed to be dragged into the women’s toilets by age 13 despite still being “children”.

It’s also very situation dependent. A mother may think it’s safer for her 6ft male 15 year old in a hoody to be in the women’s toilets at 1am in a quiet service station. But then it’s not fine for any other women who walk in to come face to face with him because he’s just standing there waiting for his mum.

There’s nothing wrong with sending a 9 year old into a pizza express toilet for example where you can see who is going in and out. In the service station late at night I would agree to bring them into the women’s. So it all depends on the situation. But there still has to be an age where they need to be in the mens and mens only.

It’s totally weird

It depends on the location, 7 or 8 mine refused to go to the ladies. However some places..like the airport I take them to the ladies.

I take my DGS8 into town and if he needs the loo we go into John Lewis, not use the public loos. He goes into the gents alone but I assure him I am right by the entrance and I will come in for him if I hear his voice, or if he takes a worryingly long time (he won’t normally poo away from home).

You think it's weird to take a 7 year old into the ladies?

Why?

Around 8yo (though he probably looked younger, he's small) but I would wait right by the entrance.
Now he's 10 so I'm usually in the ladies' myself - but if it's especially quiet I'll still wait by the men's just in case.

Not the point of the thread but its such a strange culture we live in that its acceptable for a grown adult male in a wig to use the women's toilet but an 8 year old accompanied by his mother is deemed inappropriate.

To be saying you can’t let your 7/8 year old boy going to the toilets for boys and men is weird.

Girls and women go to the ladies. Boys and men to the gents

it’s not a hotbed of child abduction and assault. It’s a toilet. Bad things happen everywhere. But rarely in this scenario.

I would just continue with him using the disabled toilet, he is a vulnerable child.

I agree, but think neither is appropriate

It was probably about 5 when my son started going to toilets in cafes etc by himself, and about the same age when I stopped taking his younger sister into the gents and letting her go to the ladies on her own (I’m their father so I guess I know the gents toilets aren’t a scary dangerous place!)

This is good to hear. You’d think it was the second circle of hell by the fear on here

This seems like a sensible approach. I' have a health condition that means I have a (legit) radar key. I would rather take him in with me (chances are I need it) than send him alone to the gehts. But he is 6.

Well in that case, maybe we should just send boy children into the gents alone as toddlers? After all, a 2 year old is still a boy and has a penis just as much as a 7 year old.

What age do you think boys should be banned from the ladies?

8 years max

My son is 7 and my husband goes in with him or he comes with me, I've been wondering about this myself cos it's all to easy to imagine them getting over powered or something, I know that's ott but it's where your mind goes!

Somewhat changed your tune from your earlier post saying it was weird for a 7/8 year old to go in the ladies.

DS started going alone at 5, he just refused to come into the ladies anymore but I did always loiter outside the men’s toilets and shout in and him. By 6/7 he was confidently going alone, I do think it’s odd when 8 year old boys are in the women’s toilets to be honest.

not at all! I’d ban them from eight. As the question I was asked

Weird

This is what I did. I also waited outside though, most times, during the first six months or so.

Yes

This.

What harm is a prepubescent boy in a toilet cubicle with his mother?

Worlds gone mad if women can’t use a toilet because there’s a small boy potentially next door…yet there could be a fully grown man in a dress and you wouldn’t know 🤷‍♀️

People can risk their children if they want but I won’t be and feel no shame in that. I also have daughters and still feel the same.

Boys and men should not be in women’s spaces

I find this really tricky as I have two DSs and the older one (9) has some additional needs. I let him use the gents depending on location, eg local McDonalds, supermarket, with me waiting outside. But I often travel with them and I don’t feel comfortable having him in the gents in the service station while I’m in the ladies so I’m afraid I do take them both in (the little one is only 4). I’ve never had anyone comment on it. Where there is a family toilet I will choose that option.