Boys going to the gents by themselves what age?

[Khgvnjj]

Ds is turning 7 and increasingly wants to go to the public toilets by himself. I grew up in a household of only women so no experience of this. When sis your boys start going to the gents by themselves? Did you put any caveats in place?

Ds went on own to gents from seven.

We are just on with this now with my DS11 who has a learning disability, blue badge etc. I will often take him into the disabled toilet (his dad always takes him into the gents) but he has been into the gents on his own a few times when it's somewhere I feel is safe. He is very limited verbally and cognitively. I had my heart in my mouth a few times. But I would never take him into the ladies now- he is far too old.

I have an 8yo DS who is asking to use the men's. I don't like that I can't even pop my head in to make sure that its reasonably clean and see who else is in there. Sometimes he struggles with the weight of the doors and if he was using the men's I wouldn't be able to hold it for him. All the incidents I've read about have happened in supermarket toilets so that's a definite 'no' from me. I would only allow it in a small, quiet, familiar place, or somewhere with lots of kids popping in, otherwise he uses the accessible toilet.

About 9 but with me standing outside loudly asking if he's ok.

When my ds was about that age, he wanted to go to the gents on his own when we were shopping ...but the way the toilets are configured meant there was a long corridor to the facilities from the main door so I couldn't hover outside. I didn't let him go and made him come with me to the ladies much to his annoyance. A while later I read in the local paper about a teenage boy who was assaulted in the mens loo at the shopping centre.

Which bit?

8 - but I confess he is now a small 14 and I still worry if he's in "too long"😕

My DD would be very upset at this and wouldn't use the toilet if there was a 11/12 year old boy in there. DS is 11, year 6, and he would be embarrassed and feel uncomfortable going into the ladies. He also appreciates that women/girls value their privacy.

“Approaching” puberty, “near” secondary school age - these are primary aged children we are talking about, who have not gone through puberty.

Women’s toilets all have cubicles so there is limited to zero risk of a woman or girl being seen by never mind coming to any harm from a prepubescent boy accompanied by his mother.

Compare that with sending a prepubescent boy alone into male toilets where men (who let’s not forget make up 99+% of sex offenders) will be urinating in urinals.

It’s not really a hard decision for me. I have a 6yo and he will be coming into the ladies toilets with me for some years yet.

My 8yo goes in by himself at family focused venues but still come in with me at more generic public venues like supermarkets or service stations. To be honest he's borderline to old, but is very young for his age and just not ready yet (SEN). Were possible we go in accessible/disabled facilities, which he qualifies to use as he only needs accompanying because of SEN. We still go in ladies together
sometimes but will definitely need to stop doing that quite soon.

I’ve let my son go into certain men’s public toilets from around 5 or 6. The first time was at the theatre and he was thrilled when he realised there was zero queue for the men’s!

He’s 7.5 now and usually chooses to the use the men’s when we’re out. But if he needs a poo he’d always favour the ladies as he says it’s lots cleaner if you need to sit!

I think you also have to consider if it’s appropriate for a boy to be in a women’s toilet once they pass 9/10.

8/9 and I always stay outside, (making sure he can hear me}

Unless your son has special needs he would be mortified to be going with his mummy into the ladies toilets at 11.
As a parent with 2 young girls I would also be horrified that a boy that age was in there too unless he looks absolutely tiny for his age.
Please get a sense of perspective on this issue.

warning your son about dangerous people is sensible but at that age he should be walking to school etc and gaining some independence. Your stance is nonsensical unless you never let him out of your sight.

Of course he would. I would be seriously concerned about any year 6 without SEN/medical needs who thought it was normal to go in the ladies toilets with his mummy.

Every word of this.

Ds3 is 7...no plans to start sending him into the gents alone at any time soon.

Oldest ds was 8, youngest stopped being willing to go into the ladies when younger so about 7 I think.

I'm more relaxed in sodt play, pizza express etc than more anonymous places like service stations. Anywhere past a big barrier like train stations and I'd still be reluctant now, but would send them together (10 and 8).

I think it's tricky and does make me worry. As a woman I'd have no problem boys going in the ladies up to about 12 as its all cubicles anyway, it's just my ds's refuse the ladies now.

Boys not in male toilets until secondary school. The mind boggles

This is unhinged

DS is 9 and goes into the men's while I loiter right outside. I don't it is fair to girls his age for him to be using the ladies toilets

No one would think it was safe for a female child to go alone into a mens toilet...so why would a male child be any safer?

Obviously, as they get older it's no longer appropriate for a boy to be in the women's toilet... usually about 9/10...but I'd still be very cautious and hover around, make it known you're right outside.

Your child is extremely unlikely to be assaulted by a stranger in a public toilet. Its much more likely they will be abused by someone who has built up a relationship of trust with then. Telling them to use a cubicle does not sound safer to me, as at least the urinals are a public space where someone could walk in at any time.

The risk of something happening is small but not impossible but the result would be devastating.

There have been two cases in my area over the years where children have been assaulted in public toilets...those are just the ones I remember reading about

Advice from an FBI agent years ago on Oprah, when your son is old enough to count audibly to you outside, "Ok Mum, 1 2 3......". That way he can't be talking to someone else in the loos and anyone in there knows he's not alone. If his counting stops you go in and get him.

7?! No way. Not even 8. It’s neither weird or inappropriate to take your 7/8 year old son into the women’s toilets. Especially not in a world where there are men in there anyway!

That makes no sense to me at all.

Any of my dc could have done that at 3 or 4 years old.

And by the time they've 'stopped counting' and you get in therr they could have been flashed, pissed on, touched or worse then it's somewhat too late.