To not be in the room when my dog is put to sleep?

[angelllll]

Please read the full context before judging me... Our family dog is going to be put to sleep later today, and I feel really conflicted about going. She has been ill for several weeks now and there have been lots of goodbyes where I've not known if I will see her again. I've taken so many videos and photos thinking this is the last time I will see her, only for her to temporarily bounce back or the vet to give us good news. She is our family dog (we got her when I was a teenager), and my parents and siblings will be in the room with her to say goodbye, so she won't be alone. She is also already sedated and on a lot of medication.

Ever since we got her as a puppy I have dreaded her having to get put to sleep as the idea of being in the room when she passes away freaks me out a lot, especially knowing we are making the decision to end her life (and her suffering). I know I'm being immature and that death is a part of life, but part of me just wants to stay home when they go to the vet so that my last memory is of her at home. She is already at the vets and has been there overnight, I didn't get to properly say goodbye to her as she was only meant to be going in for a blood test but they kept her in. I'm not sure if in time I'll come to regret it or feel guilty about it, though.

If other people will be with her, you don't need to be there if it will be too hard for you. You have my utmost sympathy, pets are family and saying goodbye is so hard. I really feel for you, it's a heartbreaking situation.

It might be good for you to be there if you can. I've been with pets when they've needed to be PTS, and knowing that I was holding and reassuring them while they slipped away brought me a lot of comfort afterwards. One cat had the most beautiful passing I've ever experienced; he was sedated and relaxed, and purred (happily, not stress) while I cuddled him. We knew he was gone when the purrs faded away - it made the vet cry too. It is painful, but there's something so lovely in knowing that all this animal has ever known from you is love, and being there to see that they experience that love right until the end.

If you really can't face it though, don't feel guilty at all. You wouldn't leave her alone, and you know she has people she knows and loves around her. Be kind to yourself OP.

They definitely do understand-

One of the worst things about Covid rules according to our vets was the inability of home euthanasia , and also not allowing a pets person into the room while euthanasia was done.

Mind you, even people were dying alone, far from their loved ones at that time.

I went with 2 of mine. The vet said those that leave the room, father pets look scared and look around for them,panicking while they die. When you stay and stroke them, they relax and it's better for them. Please stay with yours.

I think the people saying you must go haven’t read your OP properly.

Totally understand where you are coming from as I was the same with my much loved childhood cat. I didn’t go in but my parents did. I said my goodbyes before and I don’t regret it at all as she wasn’t alone. If you do decide not to go please don’t feel bad.

Hope you’re doing ok at such a shitty time x

This dog will have the rest of the family there- Dog won't be alone.

Where do you get off in posting such gratuitously cruel histrionics to complete strangers on the web?

Your overly-emotive anthropomorphism is claptrap. The dog isn't going to 'wonder' any such thing.

Take a long, hard look at yourself before you criticise others' moral behaviour.

You didn't read the whole post before judging.

It's OPs parent's dog; her parents and siblings will be there.

I've heard this so many times. I'm quite shocked that supposed vets here have said they don't look around. I knew for a fact my pug would. She was my shadow for almost 5 years. She hated the vet and would get so distressed 😞 There was no way I'd have left her when she was PTS last August. It's your last duty as a pet owner,to be there right at the end,no matter how awful and heartbreaking it is...

I always said I would let my DD's be with our dog, but when the time came I couldn't bear not to be there and he only wanted me for his final snuggles

Be at the vets and close by in case you change your mind

The Home Euthanasia our first family dog had was so peaceful, beloved dog didn't even realise it was the Vet there, as she was in her ''civvies'', as was the Nurse.

The Vet gently stroked Dog and said {ironically!} how ''well she looked'' {Osteosarcoma}
When the injection was done, I spoke to Dog gently,
It was all very calm and peaceful.

Son was very upset and he chose to stay in bathroom where he cried silently.

Please please do be with ddog
I believe it's the final gift we owe them
They look for their loved ones to feel safe and secure and they drift off hearing the voices they love the best.
It's Heartbreaking I know, and although some loved ones will be there, it's your voice they need to hear.

You can be there whilst goes into “sleep” but leave before death.

This

Ive been with many horses at the end of their lives. Very often their owners can’t cope with this and it’s fine. Much better for someone calm and reassuring at the end than someone who is transmitting panic and upset.

A lovely post, and agree 100 percent.
❤️ 🌈 🐾

Don't be daft, it might haunt her if she is there!

The dog is sedated. They wont be looking for anyone.

I was with my family dog when I was 19 when she was 15 and I was with my cat last year she was 19. They both left this world being cuddled kissed and their heads in my hands. No way should their last view in this world not be of the ones that loved them. It was sad but my feelings don't matter here.

@Abi86 do the right f…… thing and read the OP. This is a basic act of respect. Be a decent human being.

Yes they do, the vet told me that. It would be cruel to walk out. Show them reassurance and love on their way out of this world.

@HornyHornersPinger did you miss the bit about the rest of the family being there?

We recently had to put our dog to sleep. I stayed (and would never have a situation where my dog wasn't surrounded by familiar people). However, I gave my teenagers the choice of whether to stay or not. They choose not to and I'm very glad.

Whilst my dog was not actually in distress, for various reasons related to the reason he was being put to sleep, he was struggling to breathe for a long time. This was involuntary in that he was not conscious and so didn't know so not an issue for the dog, but it was distressing for us watching it, even though objectively we knew he wasn't conscious and this was just his body's reaction.

Given you've said that the dog will have lots of other familiar people around them, I wouldn't go in your situation. It's not always quietly slipping away in reality.

Ok thread Police 🤦🏼‍♀️ 7 pages of comments and mines the 1 you pick up on??

No I didn't miss that part. I gave my experience and opinion. If she loves the dog she should be there.

No, they really don't.
My dog was due to PTS at my home, and they do sedation first. I was reassured that I could leave the room at that point and it would be fine as my dog would be asleep. Vet didn't guilt me at all, and like the other vets on this thread, said the whole thing about pets looking for you is just guilt tripping, and anthropomorphising.
You don't hang around when your pet is put under a GA for an operation. This is no different.

@Gettingbysomehow I’m confused. When you say “strangers”, do you mean the family? The people who have had the dog since it was a puppy? Or maybe, just maybe, did you not bother to read beyond the first couple of lines of the OP?