To not be in the room when my dog is put to sleep?

[angelllll]

Please read the full context before judging me... Our family dog is going to be put to sleep later today, and I feel really conflicted about going. She has been ill for several weeks now and there have been lots of goodbyes where I've not known if I will see her again. I've taken so many videos and photos thinking this is the last time I will see her, only for her to temporarily bounce back or the vet to give us good news. She is our family dog (we got her when I was a teenager), and my parents and siblings will be in the room with her to say goodbye, so she won't be alone. She is also already sedated and on a lot of medication.

Ever since we got her as a puppy I have dreaded her having to get put to sleep as the idea of being in the room when she passes away freaks me out a lot, especially knowing we are making the decision to end her life (and her suffering). I know I'm being immature and that death is a part of life, but part of me just wants to stay home when they go to the vet so that my last memory is of her at home. She is already at the vets and has been there overnight, I didn't get to properly say goodbye to her as she was only meant to be going in for a blood test but they kept her in. I'm not sure if in time I'll come to regret it or feel guilty about it, though.

I was with my last two dogs when they were put to sleep. Im so glad I went, because it was so peaceful and easy. It gave me great comfort to know they slipped over the rainbow bridge and had no pain or fear. So I would encourage you to do it and not be fearful because (in our case at least) it was not traumatic or ugly at all. Sad yes, but not directly upsetting and it felt right and good and a fitting goodbye for our dear friends. Much more so, may I say, than watching my elderly parents fight and struggle against their hugely medically assisted attempts to keep them both alive

I'd encourage you to do what's best for you, OP, rather than listening to a bunch of pixels on the www telling you what you 'have to' do. No, you don't, and certainly don't pay any concession to the hateful comments telling you what a terrible person you are if you fail to do the 'right thing'. There is no 'right thing'. This is an individual judgement call to make: you are the one undergoing this situation in the here and now.

Your beloved dog is under sedation and comfortable. Humans are the only animals which know we are going to die. She is sedated, being kept comfortable, and will have no idea what's happening.

I'm sorry: the loss of a beloved animal is very hard. Make this gentler on yourself in whatever way you need. It doesn't matter what we think - it really doesn't.

Annoying that you assume that those people who are telling OP to go be with her are doing so because they "haven't read the whole post" when the alternative is that they DID, and it didn't alter their response.

I'm really sorry you're going through this.
I think it's fine not to be there if that's best for you. Especially as people who love your dog will be in the room with her.
We went through this last year as a family. Two of my teenage children chose to come with me to say goodbye, and both then chose to stay in the room while it happened. The other didn't want to come, chose to remember the dog how she had been and not add those images to her last memories. None of the three of them regret the decision they made.
Try to remember, this isn't the defining moment in your relationship with your dog. That's the time you've spend together over the months and years you've had her, and those are the memories to hold on to, whatever you do today.
Take care of yourself.

It’s hard and my Dad said he couldn’t stay when our dog was put to sleep. She knew it was the end and hadn’t moved all day. My brother and dad carried her to the car. My Dad said as he left the room she raised her head to look at him, her favourite human as if to say ‘I know, it’s ok!’…jeez I miss that furbag even after 25ish years. She was a smelly pest but she was also loyal and funny and sweet.

You don’t need to be there (especially if another family member is there). I’ve been with everyone of my animals when euthanised, but more for my benefit, I want to know they knew I was there. I was never there when they were anaesthetised (put into a sleep for an operation). So it’s the final goodbye that’s the human bit. If you feel you haven’t said a proper goodbye, then go see her before hand, give her a hug, tell her you love her & wait outside for your family members. Don’t feel guilty if it’s not right for you. There isn’t a right and wrong, just what feels right for you.

I was you a few years ago. Every single fibre of my being did not want to be in that room when it happened. But I knew I had to for my dog, I went and it was very peaceful and dignified, I would have felt such guilt if I didn’t go based on how calm and peaceful it all was.

I took my Mums dog to the PTS when she was on holiday. I stayed with him as I felt I should and when they injected him he screamed and it’s haunted me since. I am sorry if that upsets you but I want to be honest. If you already feel like you don’t want to and someone he loves is there.. don’t go x

I've been there for 3 dogs and not for 1 dog and a cat which were in the Vets and had deteriorated and was kinder to PTS asap.

Its hard but I'm glad I stayed for the ones I did. The others were sedated and probably didn't know I wasn't there.

The only thing I do regret is not letting one of my dogs say goodbye to her bestie. I sent her and my small daughter to my mum and dads when the Vet came to the house. She looked for him for a long time.

Do what you feel is best for you and if you've already said goodbye then leave it at that. They go so quickly and peacefully so you don't have to worry about that.

I'm sorry to hear about your parents. I also had reason to compare and contrast. Our much-loved cat had a peaceful, dignified end, when she still knew who we were. Our equally beloved human had to wait it out, under circumstances that were no less awful.

OP go . If you don't it will haunt you .

Much as I hated it, I was there for all my cats when put to sleep.

I wanted to be the last person they saw and to be stroking them and talking to them. It's bloody hard though.

The last cat was PTS at home and that was better for him and me. It was expensive but worth every penny for him to be so relaxed and slip away in his home.

Everyone is different. I didnt think twice about being with my dog when he was PTS, I needed to be there with him to give him peace in his final moments. But if there will be family with your dog and people they love and trust then I dont see a reason why you have to be with them. For months after my dog died I had the image going around in my head of him closing his eyes and falling asleep then the heartbreak that followed but that has slowly faded and I remember the happy times when he was fit and healthy instead.

I couldn't bring myself to be in the room when my 2 cats were put to sleep. They didn't know whether I was there or not, they were drugged up. So please try not to beat yourself up about not going & don't let others make you feel guilty

I think it is only right that she has someone she knows and loves but it doesn't have to be you. First off, I was nearly 50 before I took a dog to the vet to be PTS and that was my dad's. I was glad I did because it was a positive experience even though it was so sad. It took away the fear and so a few years later when our oldest dog at the time had to go I wasn't afraid to be with her.

We had to have dog put down last month. He was 14 and had been surrounded by love all his life. My daughter actually came home to spend time with him as we knew he was reaching the end. When it came time for the trip she went with my husband and I felt no need to be with him because I knew he would be loved the whole time.

Please don't feel bad. Not everyone has to be there and don't let anyone pressure you.

This 100%

You must be with her. She'll look to you for comfort at the end and die with strangers. I have been with everyone of my 8 cats and I'll be with my current two when their time comes. It's peaceful not horrible but I know my cats needed me to hold them at the end.

You could regret it either way so only you really know the answer, but be kind to yourself, it's horrible decision to make. Try to remember that the decision to let your dog pass peacefully is doing them a kindness and they will just drift off to sleep and never wake up.

If they have other people they trust and are close to there to stroke them and tell them they were the bestest dog ever when they pass, then you have absolutely nothing to feel guilty about.

At least read the post. She's not going to be with strangers as the rest of the family are going to be there

I think you have to do what's best for you. It's such a sad situation. And it's what you know you can cope with.
We had a lovely vet come to our home to put our family dog to sleep. She was 15 amd very sick and would not have gotten better.
She was lay over my knees sleeping . Had no idea .
And the vet was just brilliant. It was so quick . But still very upsetting.
I was the only one who did it . Everyone else went out . It was to much for them . Which I thinks completely normal and understandable.

People are trying to guilt you into going OP! Your Ddog will already have at least 3 people with her including her owners, your parents. When Dcat was PTS a few years ago, my children and husband all wanted to be there - I didn't go. Not because I didn't want to but I thought it would be overwhelming for the animal to have so many people crowded around. Your Ddog will have who they need there, everyone else is unnecessary especially if they are already sedated.

I wasn't there with my last dog and I've always regretted it. Only 14 days before losing her I held my mum's hand while she passed away and I just couldn't bare anymore grief but if the circumstances had been different and I hadn't already been going through absolute hell I would have been there. I still have the dogs ashes.

It absolutely depends on the dog and I would suggest a brief discussion with the vet might help. Of the two dogs that we have had to have put to sleep, both were visited at home. It's more expensive, but we felt it was much better for them. They were both unwell. One had kidney failure and heart failure, and we sat and stroked her, and spoke softly to her as she received the injections. The other had a cancerous tumour that had grown terribly and was inoperable and he had stopped eating (so also wasn't getting his pain meds), but the pain was causing him to be more aggressive and the vet felt that my distress at the resistance would make it worse, so I went into the next room whilst the injections were administered. That was the right to do. I would say you should try and be guided by the vet.

If someone is there with her then that's fine.
If she was just around strangers then i'd be flabbergasted you couldn't be with your best friend to the end, as hard as that would be.

You absolutely must be there read on line the articles written by vets saying how selfish it is of owners to put themselves first and how distressed the dogs are when owners wimp out!