Colleague just said my husband sounds very Andrew Tate.

[Srepmum1984]

Was having a discussion about some works drinks that will be taking place on Friday and I said husband will be picking me up if anyone else wants a lift home.

My husband regularly picks me up after drinks/meal with my friends and also always offers them a lift home if they have had a drink and they don't have alternative transportation for safety etc.

She asked if he picks me up every time I go out and I said yes. She then said he sounds very Andrew Tate. Not trusting you to make your own way back.

I was very taken aback. Surely my husband wanting to ensure his wife and friends get home safely is not 'Andrew Tate'.

He never enforces he is going to come and collect me like a child, it's more along the lines of....

Me: I'm off out now, see you in a few hours
Him: Do you want picking up babe
Me: Yes pleassseeeee 😂

Your colleague is a knob

Unless there are other things he does that are controlling, I don't think this is a problem.... 🤷‍♀️

Yes, colleagues will say lots of things in conversation. Just ignore.

It sounds fine to me! She may be thinking more along the lines of it could be controlling behaviour I suppose?

I have a friend who’s ex was a nasty piece of work, he used to come and pick her up from work drinks fairly early under the guise of her ‘safety’ but he really wanted to make sure she wasn’t talking to other men etc.

Bit of a weird thing to say out of the blue to somebody though!

I'd have asked her to elaborate, and she would have embarrassed herself with her stupid assumptions.

If your DH is happy and it works for you cos it's easier and cheaper than a taxi, then do it and don't worry what the fuck anyone else thinks.

It says rather more about her than you or your husband to jump to this conclusion.

If I went out with my mates and DH was available to pick up, he would - he used to before DS was born - simply cos it means I don't have to hang around getting wet and cold and it costs a fraction of time and effort versus the alternative.

It's just EASIER.

Likewise I've done the same for him and picked up a car full of drunk blokes on occasions.

Am I Andrew Tatey?

It works for you. The end. Don't overthink it.

Your colleague is a fool.

I’d find it a bit weird if I had a friend whose husband was always picking her up. The odd time, of course! Everyone loves a free lift 😁 But every night out? Wpildnt aay Andrew Tate but feels a bit controlling.
Whats he doing on a Saturday night when you’re out? Sat at home not drinking waiting to drive and get you?

"If you're implying he's controlling, then that's a very silly assumption to make about someone elses husband, Doris. Maybe that's a projection of your own marriage/relationship. FYI, I actually really appreciate never having to pay for an Uber or a taxi"

He just doesn't really drink. Last weekend for example he went to golf with his mate got home and I messaged him about two hours later asking him to collect me. Also I go out about once a month properly for a drink, I'm in my late 30s.Rest is coffee meet ups which I make my own way to and from.

its literally just jealousy, ignore it

First post nails it again

Who says that about somebody’s husband?!
She’s jealous you have a lovely kind husband.
And she’s a rude cow to boot.

I have a friend whose husband always picks her up when we go out. It literally hadn't occured to me that this was anything other than helpful (especially as I get a lift home too!)

That's a horrible thing for your colleague to say - I assume she has no idea what a normal healthy relationship should look like

I love my dp picking me up
We pick the kids up to if we're free and I get him from the footy so he can have a drink
What a silly thing to say
Unless she's had a controlling partner in the past like pp said not picking up out of safety but more let's get you home away from all these other men

It’s genuinely sad that we live in a culture where young women think controlling men are more common than kind men.

She’s making a ridiculous leap but I can kind of see why. Social media amplifies horror stories and nobody takes a particular interest in people who are just normal, nice, quietly considerate to one another.

(DP always offers to pick me up too! And doesn’t mind either way, just being lovely)

How is it controlling?
’I’ll pick you up at 10.30. Make sure you’re ready’ - controlling.
‘Do you want picking up? Give me a text/ring when you’re ready’ - not controlling.
Sounds like it’s the latter, in the op’s case.

I think it's lovely. What's the point in paying for cabs if your DH is at home and hasn't had a drink. Pointless.

I hope he's not giving your colleague a lift! Let her walk, silly cow.

Your husband sounds very considerate. Ignore your daft colleague.

What's wrong with that?

Yeah I agree with this. Not Andrew Tate at all but a bit much. I quite like being independent.

I pick my DP up every single time I'm free to do so, if he wants it.

It's not being controlling, it's being kind to the person you're meant to love most in the world.

I'm not going to sit at home twiddling my tits while DP schleps back on foot, or waits around for a bus, or faffs about with a taxi. Fuck that, I'll just whack my trainers on and go to fetch him.

If, of course, that's what he wants. It usually is because sitting in a car nattering to your spouse is nicer than any of the alternatives.

In what world is that controlling?

meh - i live somewhere that public transport stops at 7pm (and there is none at weekends)

i will always collect my DH either from the venue, or from the train station in the next town, after a night out, and he will always do the same for me (no taxis at the station, it's not worth their while, apparently)