Colleague just said my husband sounds very Andrew Tate.

[Srepmum1984]

Was having a discussion about some works drinks that will be taking place on Friday and I said husband will be picking me up if anyone else wants a lift home.

My husband regularly picks me up after drinks/meal with my friends and also always offers them a lift home if they have had a drink and they don't have alternative transportation for safety etc.

She asked if he picks me up every time I go out and I said yes. She then said he sounds very Andrew Tate. Not trusting you to make your own way back.

I was very taken aback. Surely my husband wanting to ensure his wife and friends get home safely is not 'Andrew Tate'.

He never enforces he is going to come and collect me like a child, it's more along the lines of....

Me: I'm off out now, see you in a few hours
Him: Do you want picking up babe
Me: Yes pleassseeeee 😂

If he's happy to do it and it saves you the hassle of finding a taxi/getting the train, then I think it's fine! I don't think that's controlling. Surely if he was controlling, he'd be trying to stop you going out drinking with friends or making you feel bad about it?

On the fence. I don't think it makes your DH Andrew Tatey but it does indicate you aren't particularly independent.

I'm in my mid 60s and have one or two friends who had husband's who picked them up/took them everywhere. Now divorced or widowed, they are a bit of a pain in the bum because they expect others to collect them or take them home on a continual basis or they won'tbe able to come, so manipulative as well. "Oh, I'm not confident enough to drive at night because Tom always did that". It makes them very limited.

I think you need a middle road op. I might just be a bit tough about it because DH has never been available. He's either been working or when dc were younger when I had a rare night out he was babysitting. If I'm having a drink I get a cab, or I don't drink and drive myself.

Lol wtf that's an unhinged comment. Ofc picking up your partner from a night out isn't misogyny.

There's an element of patriarchy involved in the sense it's more dangerous for women (especially after a few drinks) to walk home due to men, and good husbands presumably would like to protect their wives from that.

Your husband is just being considerate though. I'm a woman, and always picked my wife up at night before having a baby. Why wouldn't I if I'm sat doing nothing at home? Just good manners and saves you both money by not paying for taxis.

I don’t think it sounds Andrew Tate like at all. In fact it may well be because of AT types that he wants to do it.

She probably doesn’t have a decent enough man to do it for her.

She's jealous 😄😄, ignore xx

It would be strange in my circle of friends. We’re all London-based, always made our own way to and from nights out, both before and after husbands. If one friend had a husband who consistently picked her up, it would seem unusual to me and I would wonder why.
I guess it depends on your social life though; pre children, if I was out on a Friday night, my husband almost certainly would be too!

My DH and I always pick each other up from nights out. It has nothing to do with control! If he was in the slightest way like AT I could not be with him.

We live in a village with poor public transport - no nearby train stations and buses stop at 9pm. Taxi home is £40+ but it is only a 20 min drive away.

Saying your husband is like AT for this is massively insulting.

I thought this thread was going to be a juicy reason, that's boring af.

Talk about exaggeration. Next time you're out with her and see a small cat, dramatically push her to safety and yell "WATCH OUT! A RABID TIGER!"

This is such a stretch. It doesn't mean you're not independent because your partner picks you up from a night out...? I'm the driver (a woman) in my house and will quite frequently offer to pick my wife up from work or whatever. Not at night anymore as we have a baby. She's still independent and would get public transport if needed, but I don't see the point in letting her get taxis or walk home in the rain when I can drive...and I know she'd do the same for me if it was the other way around. It's just being considerate and it saves money on pointless taxis.

I thought it was normal for a partner to offer this if they can, irrelevant of whether male/female !
Edit: If we lived somewhere like London with frequent, busy public transport then we probably wouldn't but living somewhere with expensive taxis and a 20 minute walk from the station late at night then of course we do it. I guess it depends on where you live and the public transport situation.

Pretty much!

It's her, not him.

Wow are these posts for real? My husband will either pick me up or will meet me at the station either walking or with the car. He does it as he likes me to get home safely. At my work Christmas night out he drove me there and back my colleague from the next town as well as we were in dresses and heels and it was pissing down. He dropped off two lovely beautifully turned out ladies and later picked up two drunk women and a bloke from our team who lives nearby.

First post nailed it!

My husband picks me up from where public transport has left me and picked me up from a restaurant directly some time ago. He doesn´t drink and it saves me spending a fortune I don´t have on taxis. Your colleague is dying of jealousy.

I am otherwise. This is just happening on a once a month occasion when I meet friends for a 'proper drink'. Rest of the time I drive myself to and from whatever I am doing :)

My husband picks me up from every night if he's available. He's not a drinker and it's safer than getting public transport late at night or paying expensive taxis.
Your colleague is, indeed, a knob xx

Me: I'm off out now, see you in a few hours
Him: Do you want picking up babe
Me: Yes pleassseeeee 😂

This is so cute!

His love language must be acts of service, same as my DH.

If you'd said DH doesn't let you go out I'd understand but what you've described is lovely and caring.

Shes clearly jealous that your partner cares to get you home safe. My partner would always pick me up too and vice versa... it's normal and healthy and what loving couples do. She's a moron

Talk about seeing something toxic in something normal. She’s nuts

I don’t think it makes your DH sounds like Andrew Tate but never making your own way home from a night out does sound rather infantile if I’m being honest and a bit rude.

I think I'd have divorced my DH if he'd ever called me "babe".

Does the stupid cow even know who Andrew tate is

Crickey my poor husband would be appalled to be compared to Andrew t .He drops and picks me up on a night out and gives lifts .I do exactly the same for him .Crap transport links around us and its just what we have always done .

Not everyone sits at home drinking on a Saturday night.