Colleague just said my husband sounds very Andrew Tate.

[Srepmum1984]

Was having a discussion about some works drinks that will be taking place on Friday and I said husband will be picking me up if anyone else wants a lift home.

My husband regularly picks me up after drinks/meal with my friends and also always offers them a lift home if they have had a drink and they don't have alternative transportation for safety etc.

She asked if he picks me up every time I go out and I said yes. She then said he sounds very Andrew Tate. Not trusting you to make your own way back.

I was very taken aback. Surely my husband wanting to ensure his wife and friends get home safely is not 'Andrew Tate'.

He never enforces he is going to come and collect me like a child, it's more along the lines of....

Me: I'm off out now, see you in a few hours
Him: Do you want picking up babe
Me: Yes pleassseeeee 😂

She's jealous. My DH always offers to collect me (and anybody with me), and he's the mildest mannered man I've ever met.

Yeah, fine. I'd find it odd to disturb DH every single time though but each to their own.

The opening post does not give a true portrayal of the situation.

The advanced search certainly throws up interesting information.

It would be interesting to see how many people would jump on the “why didn’t her DH/DP pick her up” wagon if a woman was attacked making her way home from the night out.

It’s a lovely gesture that your DH/DP wants to make sure you get home safely at the end of your night. My DP would also offer to do the same and I’d absolutely say yes please.

To call somebody infantile or dependent because they choose for their husband or partner to pick them up instead of paying for a stranger to drive them home in a taxi is barbaric.

”Do you want a lift home when you’re done?”
”No thank you love, I don’t want to appear like a needy child.”
Wtf 😂

Yeah, I'm generally fine. Once in a while if it's pissing down and I'm in 3 inch heels, then a lift is great. Otherwise I don't mind making my own way home.

I guess it depends on where you live though, I generally have good transport links plus uber.

Some people like to slow drip poison when they’re jealous to make you question your relationship.

I live in a village with terrible public transport, my husband is forever picking me up from nights out! I’d say an equal mix of me asking for lifts and him offering. He’ll always happily give friends a lift home too. He’s a lovely man and couldn’t be less like Andrew Tate!

Lord above, some of these replies 🤦‍♀️

He’s offering a lift, and that makes him Andrew Tate? Or a woman should decline ‘in order to maintain her independence’?! It’s a lift ffs, it’s nice and it’s helpful. It’s not telling her where she can go, who she can go with or when she should come home.

And don’t even get me started on ppl who are digging up old posts of OPs to ‘prove’ a point.

my husband does this but it's more princess treatment rather than controlling behaviour. I can say no and have done if i'm getting a lift from someone else or if i decide to drive myself. (I don't drink)

I genuinely don’t like walking home alone in the dark. Our street lamps are barely lit due to budget cuts and I was robbed as a teen late at night. So I ask my DH pretty much any time I’m going out with no lift via a friend to please come pick me up or meet me at the train station (we live close to one) and I appreciate him a lot for staying up, walking in the rain, whatever.

Meanwhile, had he and our DS17 not made the last direct train home from the football match in London I would have trekked out at 11pm to collect them a 20min drive over in the next town to save them the hour long bus replacement service. It goes both ways.

Sounds like a caring and lovely hubby to me OP! 😊 your colleague is being ridiculous don’t think anything of it!

Well not only is he controlling but also a tight arse for not letting you spend money on a cab 🤣🤣 ( not to be taken seriously)

It’s a big jump from getting picked up from a night out because your husband is kind and it saves a lot of money (and you’d do it for him) to having no independence and not being able to cope on your own if you lost him!

Your colleague is an idiot. Andrew Tate would leave you make you make your own way home, not caring if something happened you and then blaming you if it did.

sounds like your colleague is a tad jealous. Your husband sounds lovely.

Your colleague sounds doollaly.

My hubby does this on the very rare occasions I go out without him lol, love it, know I’m safe and don’t have to make small talk on way home, winner in my eyes x your colleague is a knob !

Andrew Tate doesn’t strike me as the sort of man who would be happy for his partner to socialise outside the home, without him.

As a pp said, if he’s asking if you want picking up and telling you to message him when and where from, as opposed to ‘be here at 10pm’ then it doesn’t sound very controlling to me (unless you’ve previously confided in her that he does this so that people think he’s nice, but secretly it’s so he can make sure you’re not detouring to some random’s house to have sex).

My DH always drops me off and picks me up if I’m going out. I can sit in a comfortable, warm car for 20 minutes and be dropped off right where I need to be, or I can do an expensive 90 minute bus & train commute, in the cold, probably the rain and probably in heels. I’m all for being an independent woman, but that’s just being silly. And he does it because he likes to make my life easier and more comfortable, not because he cares where I’m going or what I’m doing. There’s no control there.

The amount of posters calling her colleague jealous 🙈 Something AT would say! Yes she must be single and crazily jealous of the lucky little wifey! 🙄 Maybe she is actually trying to warn OP. It’s such a lazy assumption when someone disagrees with you to call them jealous. I think the way she said it was tactless but I’m wondering if there is more to this.

i cant believe the crazy posters digging up via advanced search
wtf?
why do this?
what exactly are you trying to prove?

I used to think that about Andrew Tate until I watched some of his full videos on his views on women (not just the clips).
Andrew Tate thinks it’s a man’s job to fully provide for his “woman” and make it so she has no worries or stresses at all so that she can and wants to care for “her man”.
Lots of people take clips and it seems like he thinks women should take care of men regardless but he states why the hell would the woman want to take care of her man if he treats her like shit, she works full time, is stressing about bills and worrying if he’s off with other women etc.

So I’d imagine Andrew Tate would probably hire out security and a private venue for his partner to go out with her friends 😂 he’s very OTT. It could seem controlling (I don’t know, he’s not my partner) but honestly if I had somebody paying all my bills, making sure I had everything I needed for me and my children and never had to worry about anything ever again then yeah, I’d probably want to “look after him”.

Has ‘Controlling’ become such a buzzword that people will just throw it at anything?!

Your Colleague is jealous, probably never had a healthy loving relationship ever. Does she even know anything about Andrew Tate and what he stands for??

If somebody had ever said that about my husband by the time I had finished with them they would never make an offensive comment about someone else’s husband ever again!

My husband would never not pick me up from anywhere, why because I am his priority and he wants me to be safe. That’s not controlling!

Our children are the same, if a family member needed picking up they would be there. That is family.

We have nurtured our family relationships to be there for one another.

Sounds like your colleague was projecting. You do you & stay happy. Personally I would keep a distance from her. I don’t need anyone bringing their negativity to me and mine.

Stupid comment from the colleague.

I picked up DH from the station at ten past six yesterday because it was raining and there were massive puddles from rain earlier in the day which make walking home a rather soggy affair as there are always some twatty drivers who go straight through them at speed. It's a nice thing to do for one another.