To have kicked MIL out over baby’s name?

[kritzkreig]

Posting here because I need to know if I was totally out of order or if MIL has just lost the plot.

DH and I recently had our beautiful baby girl. We chose a name we both absolutely love – it’s classic, not too common, and has a lovely meaning. MIL has never been my biggest fan, but I thought she’d at least be happy for us. Well, apparently not.

She came over to meet DD for the first time, and within minutes of hearing her name, she started pulling faces. I tried to ignore it, but then she actually laughed and said, “Oh, you’re joking, right? That’s awful.” Then she went on and on about how we should have chosen something more ‘normal’ and how she won’t be telling her friends because she’s ‘too embarrassed.’

I saw red. I told her if she couldn’t be respectful, she could leave. She doubled down, saying she was just being honest and that DD would hate us for giving her a ‘ridiculous’ name. At this point, DH told her she needed to go. She stormed out, and now we’re getting passive-aggressive texts about how we’ve ‘excluded’ her from her granddaughter’s life.

AIBU to have kicked her out? I get that not everyone will love the name, but to actually laugh in our faces and say she’s embarrassed by her own granddaughter’s name? DH is completely on my side, but SIL says we overreacted and should have just ignored her.

Would love to know what the MN jury thinks.

YANBU. She doesn’t have a shred of basic courtesy quite apart from the nasty attitude.

She was very rude. I'd have said what you said but I wouldn't have chucked her out.

YANBU, she was abominably rude.

She went way out of her lane to let you know her poor opinion of your choice.

Too fucking bad. She has to suck it up because you're not changing it because of her rudeness. Does she not get you'll be less inclined to have her over and see her the more rude she gets?

If she tries calling your baby by another name, call her Gertrude.

Look, we can't judge you properly without knowing the name. It's pointless without the name. G'wan, g'wan. Tell us.

We need to know the name

SIL needs to butt out, it’s none of her business

Depends on the name. She may be trying to save you from yourselves 😄

Just dropping in to find out baby's name.

👀

But yes, she's a bitch.

I mean even if the name was Princess FluffyBollox she expressed her genuine concerns rudely and counterproductively. I therefore assume she's being reactive at not being included in something and the name doesn't matter.

Well if the name is Jimberley, your mil is correct but we need to know through name before we can judge.

I’m with you 100%. It doesn’t sound like MIL would be a positive influence in your DDs life.

She’s excluded herself.

It totally depends on the name, because for all we know you've named your baby 'poopy-pants the third' in which case your MIL is right to speak up to protect your DD from a lifetime of being laughed at.

Depends on the name, impossible to say if she actually had a point about the child hating you for the name without knowing what it is.

YANBU and I’m pleased to see that your h is sticking up for your daughter too. While it may not be a name that she would have picked, it’s your daughter’s name and your MIL needs to get over herself.

Ah yes, a well-known classic, not too common name with a lovely meaning

As usual it depends on the name. Is it something old fashioned, but a bit trendy, like Edith? Maybe she really is trying to save her from something awful.

I remember when David Cameron had her daughter and called her Florence. MIL said it was awful and old fashioned and the girl would suffer. I told her that it was really trendy again. Remember when Ruby was suddenly all the rage in around 2000? Older people would have considered it old fashioned.

Even if her opinion is justified, she should have kept it to herself.

Unless is Neveah then she’s probably correct

OK fair enough but how about Fanny? That's a classic name perhaps.

She has no manners.

I’d keep her away, your DD doesn’t need someone like that as a role model.

You did exactly the right thing. You protected your child.

I think you went a bit too nuclear but I don’t think you were unreasonable to shut her down on your child’s name. Unless it is poopy pants 🤣

Yes,we need the name.

But I wish I had been firmer with my mum who when she found out dd1s name said she didn't like it, I should change it, sent me an email (an email!) about how awful it was, I'd regret it, couldnt beleive I had chosen it. Classic, flower-name, not at all unusual, there is another one in dd's year. She got over it but I should have said how upsetting I found it.

Good for you and your dh, OP, for setting her straight.