To have kicked MIL out over baby’s name?

[kritzkreig]

Posting here because I need to know if I was totally out of order or if MIL has just lost the plot.

DH and I recently had our beautiful baby girl. We chose a name we both absolutely love – it’s classic, not too common, and has a lovely meaning. MIL has never been my biggest fan, but I thought she’d at least be happy for us. Well, apparently not.

She came over to meet DD for the first time, and within minutes of hearing her name, she started pulling faces. I tried to ignore it, but then she actually laughed and said, “Oh, you’re joking, right? That’s awful.” Then she went on and on about how we should have chosen something more ‘normal’ and how she won’t be telling her friends because she’s ‘too embarrassed.’

I saw red. I told her if she couldn’t be respectful, she could leave. She doubled down, saying she was just being honest and that DD would hate us for giving her a ‘ridiculous’ name. At this point, DH told her she needed to go. She stormed out, and now we’re getting passive-aggressive texts about how we’ve ‘excluded’ her from her granddaughter’s life.

AIBU to have kicked her out? I get that not everyone will love the name, but to actually laugh in our faces and say she’s embarrassed by her own granddaughter’s name? DH is completely on my side, but SIL says we overreacted and should have just ignored her.

Would love to know what the MN jury thinks.

I love Lana as a name, but I’m a big Archer fan. So I love Mallory as well. Is it Mallory @kritzkreig ?? I’m fully on your side if it is!

The MIL's opinion of the name is irrelevant, she was rude. OP is not asking if MIL had a point. Posters are responding to the thread THEY think OP should have posted rather than the one they she did.

Being nosy is human nature but still doesn't change whether the MIL's behaviour was rude.

When my MIL met my son for the first time she announced she was going to call him the French version of the name (think Benoît for Bernard for example). None of us are French!

I told her she either calls him by his name or she can be "the grandmother he never sees".

Worked a treat lol.

If you accept the MIL has been rude then how goes knowing the name change that?

It's unfortunate you don't like your own name but that isn't relevant to the OP.

Sometimes being rude doesn’t equal being wrong. Context is everything, and if you can’t hear honestly (even given rudely) by the people closest to you then how can you reflect on a situation? It’s highly likely the op has given they child a name that won’t be blinked at, but on the off chance that this baby has been saddled as Gertrude or Bertha, maybe once the anger at the rudeness has passed the op might want to think about how a baby turns into a person who has to live with said name.

There's "said something completely wrong" rude, and there's "said something that needed saying, but in a horribly tactless way" rude. I guess people are trying to work out which applies here.

I think if OP had come here with a name suggestion & the vast majority of posters gave reasons they hated it then perhaps the mil bad reaction would have been more acceptable. As it is we have no idea what the name is therefore although mil went about saying she didn't like it in a way which was totally out of order knowing there was a huge number of people agreeing may have led to more understanding. My point is knowing the name does make a difference.

YANBU. But it's hard to be objective when we don't know the name....

Block their numbers and refuse to engage.
Do you want this time ruined by her?
If not, ignore her and make it clear she is not welcome.

I wouldn't want her near my baby.
She's no loss to sny child.
That is not normal behaviour.
It's Jeremy Kyle Show behaviour...aka..the dregs.

Danger zone!

Some imagination gymnastics right there!