To have kicked MIL out over baby’s name?

[kritzkreig]

Posting here because I need to know if I was totally out of order or if MIL has just lost the plot.

DH and I recently had our beautiful baby girl. We chose a name we both absolutely love – it’s classic, not too common, and has a lovely meaning. MIL has never been my biggest fan, but I thought she’d at least be happy for us. Well, apparently not.

She came over to meet DD for the first time, and within minutes of hearing her name, she started pulling faces. I tried to ignore it, but then she actually laughed and said, “Oh, you’re joking, right? That’s awful.” Then she went on and on about how we should have chosen something more ‘normal’ and how she won’t be telling her friends because she’s ‘too embarrassed.’

I saw red. I told her if she couldn’t be respectful, she could leave. She doubled down, saying she was just being honest and that DD would hate us for giving her a ‘ridiculous’ name. At this point, DH told her she needed to go. She stormed out, and now we’re getting passive-aggressive texts about how we’ve ‘excluded’ her from her granddaughter’s life.

AIBU to have kicked her out? I get that not everyone will love the name, but to actually laugh in our faces and say she’s embarrassed by her own granddaughter’s name? DH is completely on my side, but SIL says we overreacted and should have just ignored her.

Would love to know what the MN jury thinks.

Don’t get involved in any more conversations about it. It’s a done deal and not up for debate.

I'm waiting for the drip feed that baby is called Countess Louby Lou Esmeralda.

Depends- Jenny- old fashioned but ok. Fanny la bo bo- less ok.

It’s Susan. Bet you.

The great thing about your post OP was that your DH was totally on your side.
So fed up of reading countless posts on MN where the DH / DP sides with his mother rather than his supposed life partner.

It doesn’t matter what the name is. It is your choice and she should have had the decency and respect to just smile and say lovely. She was rude and unpleasant and she has done this to herself all she had to do was say sorry.

I love the fact you stood up to her!

Too many people suffer with rude relatives in silence imo.

Exactly this. Bloody well done sticking up for yourself OP. And congratulations 💐

Sounds like all the adults (apart from SIL) are being idiotic. What happened to just acting like normal people in pursuit of your baby's interest in having parents and grandparents rubbing along together in her life?

I was not over keen on my GCs name when I was told it. It's a traditional name but not a popular one. I would never have dreamt of telling my DD I didn't like it. It's none of my business, it's not my child and I'm not out right rude!

Genius!! I really hope so.

<Get's old, tweed coat and rain hat on and shuffles to exit>

Now that would be a perfect name for a cat 😆

I agree with the SIL. Also want to know the name!

You did right! Cheeky bitch. In all fairness I did not like my friends baby's name but would never have told her. You just don't. I got over it. It's her name. Also, I work in childcare. Some of the names I've come across....when first hearing them I was mind blown but got used to them after a week or 2. Sounds like your baby name is pretty normal.

OP this is beyond rude, where is the Lilac Fairy when she is needed.
This asking mil to leave was because she was rude, what she said,
her mockery and besides which it is not her call !!!

mothers/mils and names… they had their chance with their babies and look at some of the names they bestowed…

my mum offered me 1000 tocall my baby after my deceased brother, I refused,
then she said, of course my favourite name is Daniel so you can call him Danny…
eyeroll, we have a name ready thanks
when he was born and named she declared it too Teutonic. I had to look that up.

my daughter’s name she mocked

my sister’s mil remarked on daughters name that it was ok for a baby but not
a grown womans name…

these conversations were by telephone - rude and unnecessary, this is why we
learned not to ever mention and not be drawn on baby names, although we did
have some fun after a while declaring names such as Ermintrude ^ Winifred,
Gillespie, Cuthbert, Archibald, enjoyed the shrieks of dismay of family who could
not mind their own business and not mine

another phenomenon which astonished me was the number of people making
suggestions!

OP don’t be put off, this is your baby’s name now, ignore mil she has cast a cloud
which needs dispelling, you can do this by repeating baby’s name over and over
like an incantation, ha ha

Me too 😂😂😂

It doesn't change the fact she was rude and you were right to kick her out.

But I need to know what caused her to have such a dramatic reaction to the name 👀

She sounds rude how she's gone about it and it was probably best she left. Presumably she's being dramatic and you're not actually cutting her out?

It's possible the name is important though. If it's something 'interesting' her reaction is more understandable perhaps.

I quite like that !

I got weird looks when I said what I was calling my daughter, still do to this day and it’s a really common name 😂

I now need to know the name!

My DSD was going to call her son Jakes - not Jake, but Jakes.
I almost exploded, she thought it was an Anglicised version of Jacques.

I'm glad I did, she changed her mind when I pointed out it meant shithouse, bog, khazi

YANBU. I am glad your dh is inside as well

Personally she would not be coming back until she apologises and I would expect her to use the name and not express her thoughts to anyone else

She was rude. Even if the name is terrible, you smile and say “lovely”.

Well done OP! Your baby, your choice of name. Enjoy your little one, I hope she brings you such joy and love x

It's Florence isn't it?