To have kicked MIL out over baby’s name?

[kritzkreig]

Posting here because I need to know if I was totally out of order or if MIL has just lost the plot.

DH and I recently had our beautiful baby girl. We chose a name we both absolutely love – it’s classic, not too common, and has a lovely meaning. MIL has never been my biggest fan, but I thought she’d at least be happy for us. Well, apparently not.

She came over to meet DD for the first time, and within minutes of hearing her name, she started pulling faces. I tried to ignore it, but then she actually laughed and said, “Oh, you’re joking, right? That’s awful.” Then she went on and on about how we should have chosen something more ‘normal’ and how she won’t be telling her friends because she’s ‘too embarrassed.’

I saw red. I told her if she couldn’t be respectful, she could leave. She doubled down, saying she was just being honest and that DD would hate us for giving her a ‘ridiculous’ name. At this point, DH told her she needed to go. She stormed out, and now we’re getting passive-aggressive texts about how we’ve ‘excluded’ her from her granddaughter’s life.

AIBU to have kicked her out? I get that not everyone will love the name, but to actually laugh in our faces and say she’s embarrassed by her own granddaughter’s name? DH is completely on my side, but SIL says we overreacted and should have just ignored her.

Would love to know what the MN jury thinks.

What is the name?

Oh, I do love it when people use the term 'normal'. What does that mean? As it's a classical name, it's perfectly 'normal'. Your DD's name is your choice, not hers. Your MIL was extremely rude and your DH is in your corner, I'd let her stew.

Good for you! I wish I'd done the same - when I told DM my DC's name, she sneered and said the only people she knew with that name were in prison.

She's incredibly rude and ignorant. Even if it's the worst name in the world, it's none of her business.

Congratulations by the way!

Mine did this. It got worse from there. You weren’t unreasonable to ask her to leave and I’d now leave it entirely until she contacts either of you and then get DH to make it very clear that her opinions on your child are unwelcome and there won’t be contact if she can’t keep them to herself. I wish we had!

Even if the name is horrendous you put on your game face and say how beautiful it is.

That’s just being polite.

Unless you called the kid Ermintrude, I'd have also told her to fuck off mind her own business. She was rude and unnecessary. She should have kept her unwanted opinions to herself.

(Absolutely marking a place for the name reveal)

Your mil is very rude and unkind to have criticised your daughter's name like she did. OK so it's not a name she would ever have picked but she needs to remind herself that this is your daughter, not hers.

Fwiw, I had several funny looks from people when I told them what I'd named my baby daughter, 40 years ago. It was a name that at the time was deeply out of fashion, but I loved it and wanted it for my little girl. Over the years, the name gradually crept up the charts and became very popular by the time DD was in her 20s. Yours may well do the same. Maybe, like me, you're just a bit ahead of the crowd!

I need to know the name!

I've got lots of grandkids. There's at least two whose name I didn't particularly like but it's not my business so I kept my gob shut.

I cannot imagine ruining that precious time when you get to finally meet your little grandchild. She's a cow.

Get in the queue. I have a feeling it will be a very long wait!

She sounds awful! I wish I could tell my MIL to piss off at times.

The name is irrelevant.

I quite like Ermintrude

I have a very unusual name - I am sure my mum got very strange looks from my dads family, in fact I know she did, but I have come to love it and the story behind it, but it has made for a few interesting conversations, its never spelt or pronounced right!

YANBU

She's already named her child.

It's your (you and your DH) turn.

She should keep her opinions to herself.

Stop. It. 😂

Kicking her out was a bit of an overreaction- so what if she doesn’t want to tell her friends, and so what if she doesn’t like it. Not your problem, it’s hers.

People are weird about names.

DS has a biblical name. I’m not religious, I just love the name.

When two random ladies in the street asked his name they did full cat’s bum mouth and said, “That’s very MODERN.”

It’s not. It’s old. The bible was written ages ago.

I also like Ermintrude.

There’s plenty of Trudys about so it must be quite common.

I guess they could also be Gertrudes…

Perfectly put, @CuteEasterBunny.

Message the rest of the family - “MIL is not being excluded by us - she has excluded herself by her extremely rude and disrespectful response to our baby’s name”.

Yes OP we need the name, I was hoping I didn't need to place make, but I do and I have 😏

What an absolute bitch. Well done to you OP.

Technically you didn't kick her out, you gave her the choice to stay and be respectful. She was incapable of doing so.

I think having someone so rude that they start laughing loudly at you and insulting your new baby's name when presumably you have not long given birth is plenty of reason to demand they leave.

Depends on the name !

It's rude of her to actually say it but what's the name?