Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbour asking for money

427 replies

Redbird3 · 23/02/2025 16:08

It all started a few months ago. Next door neighbour messaged me on Facebook and asked if I could bank transfer her £10 and she would knock on with the cash. I get on with her so I said yes.

Ever since it’s got to the point that she is asking every day. If not every day then every other day. I have started to say no as I do feel like she is taking advantage. When I don’t reply she then messages DH. There’s been times where DH has transferred her money on the promise that she’ll come round with it asap but it’s been next day.

Last night around midnight she messaged me asking for £20. I was just getting in bed so I didn’t reply. She messaged again around 12:20 as I was dropping off to sleep which woke me up. Then around 12:30 she called me on Facebook.

I think it’s getting a joke now but DH disagrees and doesn’t see the problem. A couple of nights ago she messaged DH, he sent her £10, then she messaged again for £20 which he sent her, then again 10 minutes later asking for another £10!

AIBU in thinking this is just pure cheek?

OP posts:
BigSilly · 23/02/2025 17:20

Sounds like she works a cash in hand job but needs money for online stuff - does she have a prepayment meter?

andHelenknowsimmiserablenow · 23/02/2025 17:20

Shinyandnew1 · 23/02/2025 16:57

I think it’s getting a joke now but DH disagrees and doesn’t see the problem. A couple of nights ago she messaged DH, he sent her £10, then she messaged again for £20 which he sent her, then again 10 minutes later asking for another £10!

The strangest thing about this post is the fact your husband thinks this is fine! How bizarre! Does he buy drugs off her...?

My first thought!
He isn't paying her on time, so she is hassling you?

FriendlyEeyore · 23/02/2025 17:22

I’d want to know why my husband is so willing to give multiple amount of money to this woman.

You need better friends.

Princesspollyyy · 23/02/2025 17:25

Stop being such a doormat and just tell her no from now on. Any late calls or messages just ignore.

And tell your DH to do the same.

Ilikeadrink14 · 23/02/2025 17:26

Shinyandnew1 · 23/02/2025 16:57

I think it’s getting a joke now but DH disagrees and doesn’t see the problem. A couple of nights ago she messaged DH, he sent her £10, then she messaged again for £20 which he sent her, then again 10 minutes later asking for another £10!

The strangest thing about this post is the fact your husband thinks this is fine! How bizarre! Does he buy drugs off her...?

I can’t imagine anyone having the cheek to ask for money in the middle of the night, or any time, come to that. Asking for it at such silly times is seriously odd and I am finding it hard to believe this post at all. I think it might be fake and I’m not having any more to do with it.

Thatnameistaken · 23/02/2025 17:28

You must realise that if they're ever found out to be dealing drugs or any other criminal activities and their bank accounts are looked at, you and your husband will look like their most regular customers...

BMW6 · 23/02/2025 17:30

Thatnameistaken · 23/02/2025 17:28

You must realise that if they're ever found out to be dealing drugs or any other criminal activities and their bank accounts are looked at, you and your husband will look like their most regular customers...

Of course! I doubt anyone would believe the loan explanation because its just too unlikely!

Diningtableornot · 23/02/2025 17:31

How bizarre. Hard to think of any innocent explanation for this. At best, this woman has a gambling problem and has run her bank account down to nothing but has some means of getting cash, perhaps by doing cash in hand jobs.
At worst:

  • She's setting you up in some way by having these frequent payments into her account
  • The notes she pays you back with are counterfeit
  • The notes she pays you back with are stolen perhaps from her work in which case they could be traced to her, and you are taking part in a tiny little money laundering operation.
I would tell her that this is starting to look like strange activity on your bank account so it needs to stop.
ClockingOffers · 23/02/2025 17:31

I’d lend a friend money in a one-off emergency but this has got way out of hand.

Why is your DH so keen to get involved? That’s a bit weird unless they have a ‘friends with benefits’ type relationship?

I think you need a firm conversation with your DH and to both agree that Bank of Good Neighbours is now permanently closed.

She’ll no doubt find another Mug soon. They always do!

HongKongFinish · 23/02/2025 17:32

I used to have a neighbour like this, we had kids at the same school, got on well with each other and I regarded her as a friend.There came a time when I genuinely couldn't afford to help and said no, albeit reluctantly.
She distanced herself, the friendship I thought we shared vanished and the harsh reality was that she never appreciated the gesture in the first place, because a 'new' friend became her benefactor.
Some people are just cunts, unfortunately.
If it feels off to you, follow your instincts.

Millymoonshine · 23/02/2025 17:32

You both need to block her.

IWillAlwaysBeinaClubWithYouin1973 · 23/02/2025 17:35

Why do you give her money, why do you think you need to give her money - surely you're just making things worse constantly doing this? Why don't you have any responsibility or ability to say no?

MammaTo · 23/02/2025 17:37

To be honest I’d be questioning your husband and why he’s letting this happen and thinks nothings wrong with it. It sounds like gaslighting! Has she got something on him?

JustMyView13 · 23/02/2025 17:38

Sounds like you’re washing her drug money for her. I would stop immediately in your shoes…

Roseshavethorns · 23/02/2025 17:38

It sounds really dodgy to be honest. Some kind of money laundering or drugs (especially if you are not the only person she is asking).
I would just tell her your bank is flagging up the transactions and that you can't do it anymore. That way if it is dodgy she will never ask you again.

chattyness · 23/02/2025 17:38

Sounds like she's too lazy to go and do her own banking every day. Tell her no, because from now on you're a cash free house hold so a very inconvenient & your husband won't be doing it either. If she keeps on block her number so she can't call you, mute her messages on social media. Keep saying no.

Original poster
Redbird3 · 23/02/2025 17:38

Well I’ve just had an argument with DH about it! What the actual fuck…

So after this thread I’ve realised that IANBU. I tried to speak to him about all the points some of you have said on here. I told him from now on she won’t be getting a penny from me and I’d appreciate he be on the same page.

I didn’t know this and have only just found out that he transferred her £10 last night while I was in bed (I went up earlier than him) and she was meant to be posting it ‘asap’ (last night) He’s still not got it back.

I told him she’s taking the piss and to please not send her anymore. I asked him why he’s so easy to say yes and his reply was “because she asks for it” then he shouted at me and told me to “seriously not start”

OP posts:
Noshowlomo · 23/02/2025 17:40

He fancies her and/or is buying drugs from her

Redfred00 · 23/02/2025 17:40

She will keep on asking while you keep on sending. Say no, please don't ask me again and then block her. She's a shameless CF.

Sunnyside4 · 23/02/2025 17:41

If you haven't already, I'd message her and ask her not to message you between certain hours for anything (not just the money). Then say to her you've been thinking about it and don't feel you're in a position to keep lending her money (you don't have to give an excuse), and hope that's ok as she's a good neighbour.

OldChairMan · 23/02/2025 17:41

He doesn't sound "too nice" OP, but too gullible or over-involved for some reason.

Mrsbloggz · 23/02/2025 17:42

Wtf, I would have said no in the first instance and then delivered increasingly impolite refusals if she asked again.

Middlepiepush · 23/02/2025 17:44

Could she know something about him that he doesn’t want getting out so she is blackmailing him?

ACynicalDad · 23/02/2025 17:44

This is very odd, and your husband saying don't start suggests he can't think of a rational reason why this is OK.

Alycie · 23/02/2025 17:44

It’s a bit odd that he’d rather not tell her ‘no’ but he has no problems telling you ‘no’.
He’d do well understanding why he does that.

Swipe left for the next trending thread