Neighbour asking for money

[Redbird3]

It all started a few months ago. Next door neighbour messaged me on Facebook and asked if I could bank transfer her £10 and she would knock on with the cash. I get on with her so I said yes.

Ever since it’s got to the point that she is asking every day. If not every day then every other day. I have started to say no as I do feel like she is taking advantage. When I don’t reply she then messages DH. There’s been times where DH has transferred her money on the promise that she’ll come round with it asap but it’s been next day.

Last night around midnight she messaged me asking for £20. I was just getting in bed so I didn’t reply. She messaged again around 12:20 as I was dropping off to sleep which woke me up. Then around 12:30 she called me on Facebook.

I think it’s getting a joke now but DH disagrees and doesn’t see the problem. A couple of nights ago she messaged DH, he sent her £10, then she messaged again for £20 which he sent her, then again 10 minutes later asking for another £10!

AIBU in thinking this is just pure cheek?

Good grief OP you might be cleaning money for her. Never ever do it again, and I’d want a frank chat with DH as to why he’s so unbothered by it because it’s dodgy AF 🚩

Put your phone on silent when you go to bed. Talk to DH and agree no more loans to your neighbour. Just tell her things are a bit tight ATM and you don't have any spare cash to lend.

There are easier ways to launder money then borrowing £10/£20 a night like a litteral self employed cleaning business where your paid in cash & earn below the maximum amount taxable

If she’s a regular smoker, about enough for a couple of joints at best.

I think you must be careful and ask why your neighbour is asking you for money all the time.If this becomes problematic then maybe contact the ploice after you have warned her!

Does she work. I would lie and say I can't afford any more to lend as I need to replace my boiler.

She asked for money and you just handed it over? Why?

If your DH wants to continue. Let him. Block her from your contacts so she has to message him every time. Don’t let him have access to cash you have. See how long it lasts!

I think it’s getting a joke now but DH disagrees and doesn’t see the problem. A couple of nights ago she messaged DH, he sent her £10, then she messaged again for £20 which he sent her, then again 10 minutes later asking for another £10!

The strangest thing about this post is the fact your husband thinks this is fine! How bizarre! Does he buy drugs off her...?

Sounds like low-level drug dealing and gambling. She deals drugs on the side and gets paid in cash, which then needs to be transferred to her back account to fund her online gambling habit. The giveaway is the night time demands.

Does she give you a reason for asking for the cash each time? From what you’ve said, it’s either drug related, or to do with gambling and by continuing to send the money, you’re enabling something that’s harming her. I think it’s really odd that your DH doesn’t think it’s strange and out of order. Explain the above to him and ask him why he thinks either of you should carry on. Tell her it’s best for all of you that you stop.

Agree with him that you’ll stop transferring money. When she messages again, tell her that you’re no longer able to send money, so please can she stop asking and ignore any future messages. Put your phones on Do Not Disturb at night.

I also agree that DH fancies her.

So she has the cash to give you but wants a bank transfer?

Is it that she is paid in cash but needs money in the bank to pay for things online? With bank branches closing down it can be hard to find places to pay money into an account.

Either way this is not your problem. Just trying to understand what is actually happening.

Why are you giving her money then if you’re not happy about her spending it on drugs? Were you alright with it and now you’re not? Otherwise you must be extremely naive as she is 100% mugging you off. Just say no, and please don’t ask again. If she asks again, block her

I think the gambling theory is most likely given the timing and repeated requests - sounds like someone chasing their losses.

This. Is he buying drugs off her or something? Because your husbands behaviour isn’t normal.

I wouldn’t lend any more out of principle. She’s rude.

Both of you need to stop this. Giving money away is what you doing; it's never coming back. She is taking advantage and that never ends well

I had a neighbour like this, she knocked on everyone's door for various things. The requests were small to start with, cup of sugar, an egg or a bit of milk as hers had gone off etc. Then she started asking for £5, then £10 & eventually £50.

She never asked me for anything because I've got a resting bitch face so she steered clear! 😀 All the while she had a massive weed habit & the money she borrowed was spent on that rather than food. Nobody was ever repaid & she was recently evicted for accumulating £15k of unpaid rent.

Surprised your bank hasn't frozen your account already. This will also look dodgy as hell on any mortgage/ credit application.

I so agree! Why on earth haven’t you read her the riot act for phoning you in the middle of the night? That is totally out of order and I have trouble understanding why you are putting up with it.
There is something very odd going on here. You happily hand over money whenever she asks for it. Stranger still, your husband agrees with it. This is beyond weird. Have you made it up?

Block and delete her number. If you have a ring doorbell, don't answer the door to her.

What in all that is good does your neighbour need with £10 or £20 at that time of night?

Does she pay it back?

I'd just say to the neighbour that you didn't mind the occasional request but this is becoming too frequent and aggressive in the demands that you're no longer comfortable in loaning her the money so you're no longer able to loan her money.

Anything to do with drugs ect, i would call the police and get them to deal with this.That is of course, if your husband has put his foot down.Whatever you do DON,T enable this person to mug you.If you live under a local council you must report this, because they have the power to deal with this!!

Bang on I reckon!