Neighbour asking for money

[Redbird3]

It all started a few months ago. Next door neighbour messaged me on Facebook and asked if I could bank transfer her £10 and she would knock on with the cash. I get on with her so I said yes.

Ever since it’s got to the point that she is asking every day. If not every day then every other day. I have started to say no as I do feel like she is taking advantage. When I don’t reply she then messages DH. There’s been times where DH has transferred her money on the promise that she’ll come round with it asap but it’s been next day.

Last night around midnight she messaged me asking for £20. I was just getting in bed so I didn’t reply. She messaged again around 12:20 as I was dropping off to sleep which woke me up. Then around 12:30 she called me on Facebook.

I think it’s getting a joke now but DH disagrees and doesn’t see the problem. A couple of nights ago she messaged DH, he sent her £10, then she messaged again for £20 which he sent her, then again 10 minutes later asking for another £10!

AIBU in thinking this is just pure cheek?

Is this from your joint account or your husbands account. If its joint I'd inform your bank and tell her its stopping. If your husband is happy to continue then he takes responsibility and doesn't involve you, you block her and don't respond. Do you have a relationship with her or speak to her at all.

It looks so dodgy on your bank statement though. For whatever reason she is doing it - drugs, gambling, some non-standard bank account for example - it looks weird on your bank statement. If you have to sit down with a bank advisor when you need to remortgage, open a new credit card or whatever, it just looks dodgy. To an outsider it will appear like you have debts, loan sharks knocking and yiu are paying off small amounts regularly, something like that! Look after your own financial safety first and knock this on the head now.

You have a massive DH problem then, OP.

If I were you I'd send her a very impolite message telling her to stop asking both your and your H, and then block her on everything. How fucking dare she disturb you at all times of day and implicate you in whatever illegal nonsense she has got herself into?! Get angry. And get FURIOUS that your DH told you to "seriously not start".
I would also not be so naive as to think it is over with her asking DH and him sending it 😶

@Waterweight - depends if she's doing this with just the OP or some others

@Redbird3 - reading your update, you have bigger issues than this neighbour
I think you need to get your DH to read this thread.

Unless hes a pushover like this for everyone, then there is something really wrong about your dhs reaction to this.
I also dont understand why she needs money into her bank so frequently when she has the cash to drop around asap...Id be highly suspicious of this OP

Well, the plot thickens @Redbird3 on top of the whole odd situation, your dh is now getting defensive.
You pointed out it could be drugs/gambling/money laundering he could have said, 'really? Don't want to get mixed up with that. Yes, no more transfers.'

Stick to your guns and refuse to get involved any further.

She might want to make an online payment for something but only has cash on her and none in the bank

OMG OP I'm wondering if you've moved into my old house 😂 My ex neighbour was exactly the same. I liked her and she was nice enough so I did it a few times and then it got too much so I said no.

She properly got the hump and life got a bit weird. Think bags of rubbish dumped on top of the recycling just before the bin men came so they didn't take my bins, and nasty smelling liquid down the side of my house 🤢

I'd probably say that my bank have questioned it and told you it looks suspicious. When you explained the situation they told you not to do it so you are sorry you can't help in the future.

It's dodgy. Or she'd just go to the post office or bank.

Let your husband do whatever he wants but tell him he may be unknowingly involving himself in something illegal and you won't be taking the risk and would rather he didn't either.

Your DH is a fking mug.

How would your dh respond if you said that the money was being spent on drugs &/or a gambling habit. Would he still lend her the money knowing full well it's being spent on a dodgy habit?

Why has she got cash to give you, but nothing in her account.
It doesn't make sense. And if it doesn't make sense then it's probably illegal

Girl I'd be asking some serious questions about your husbands fidelity 🥺

He sounds very suspicious. Men don't just go around giving money away for nothing.

Sound like money laundering to me 🙄
but more to the point I would tell her pack it in texting all hours! Tell her it’s getting on your nerves and you won’t be doing it anymore as you don’t really want cash you prefer to spend on your card.

I would block her on everything and ask DH to do the same.

If he refuses, you have a DH problem.

I’d say no purely because I never use cash. I like being able to see how much is in my bank account and paying for everything on card. I hate it if someone owes me £20 and pays in cash. As a one off it’s ok, but this would fuck me off no end and a perfectly good reason to say no to it all.

A girl I knew did this to my friend, always asking for £5 -£20. She would use it for drugs, buy a bigger bit, cut it , sell it and then give back the money made from selling the cut down drugs. Either that or it was just cigarette money until her benefits came through. Her bank account was flagged and shut down due to her carrying on this way. The mutual friend has no more dealings with her, apparently she's now hooked on heroin and her son lives with the grandparents. Really sad situation, junkies will tell you all sorts of lies to get their fix! You're easy money to them. Please be careful.

If someone said "seriously don't start" to me that would be the last time they said a word to me. When it's your husband you have a big problem.

You were a fool to do this for so long. If your husband won't stop I'd be having serious words with him. Sure he's not shagging her, or wanting to?

He’s just said he won’t be sending it her as often but sometimes he might have to? wtf

YANBU. She sounds like a problem person to be completely avoided. I think you also need to have a talk with your husband about how the two of you are a team to decide things together, not for him to feel free to say yes when you said no. That would really tick me off. She will continue this lunacy until she is repeatedly presented with a solid wall of no from BOTH of you.

Any chance she's blackmailing him?

This sounds really dodgy. She is asking for money (generally at night) and then gives you cash back the next day. What is she doing that requires money in the bank if she is able to get her hands on cash that quickly.

I agree with the poster who suggests you say you can't do it as the bank has noticed unusual transactions.

Also if you change your mortgage you will be asked about all those little transfers. My daughter and I often pick up shopping for each other and pay it back by transfer. When they applied for their new mortgage the application came back asked what all those transactions were.

I'd be saying no every time from now on.
DH should be saying no too.
It sounds dodgy, whatever it is. She gets the money per bank transfer, spends it on whatever and then she brings cash round. Odd.