DP making inappropriate comments about friends appearance

[Robin87]

DP had a friend round last night for a takeaway and a few drinks. I joined for the food and was then happy to return upstairs where I was enjoying a relaxing and early night.

Said friend is recently single and between him and DP, they (somewhat light heartedly) asked if I had any single friends I could set him up with.

I said no one came to mind at which point DP decided to interject with the following:

-“How about X” (name of my oldest friend who split with her DH about a year ago)
-“She has a cracking arse”
-“I don’t know why (ex DH name) left her - imagine having that parked on your face every night”

DP’s friend didn’t really react and the conversation awkwardly moved on. I went up to bed a few minutes after when I’d finished eating.

AIBU to feel that was disrespectful? I know ‘boys will be boys’ at times but surely that’s a conversation best left to down the pub?

I’ve not spoke to DP about it yet but feel I’m going to have to bring it up.

Utterly disgusting. I would Park him outside since he obviously does not respect you.

Your DH is a grade one gross 🤮 throwback of a man.

Hope no children are involved in this man’s life.

Boys will be boys! Pathetic.

That's absolutely gross! I don't pretend my DH is blind and wouldn't notice if someone was attractive, but I wouldn't expect him to be noticing / commenting on particular features, especially in such a vile way.

A million percent disrespectful .

Uggh I would not be in the same room as a man like that let alone the same bed.🤮

Yuuuuuuck. And now you know what he thinks of your oldest friend, who you presumably see relatively often. Awkward.

I'm guessing he's usually respectful and considerate and this was completely out of character.

Wow. Gross

Revolting. Why are you with him?

Disgusting caveman.

Erm if my dh said that I'd be fucking furious. Boys will be boys is just a term made up by men to excuse behaviour like this!!

I'd be upset and very turned off him. Was he showing off to his friend? I wouldn't justify my feelings, I'd say that he needs to apologise and depending on how that went I'd get over it or leave. Pig.

No, boys will not be boys, his comments were disgusting and he's basically told you he fancies her.

Gross and misogynistic

It has made me think of something I saw a few months ago. All my phone photos are synced to my tablet (cloud), which we share to watch Netflix etc.

I came home after work one day (DP had been at home on a day off) and I unlocked the tablet which immediately opened to a photo I’d taken of my friend on a girls holiday a couple of years before. In a bikini on a beach..

I remember asking DP if he’d been scrolling through photos to which he said no and it must have been an old tab which somehow opened. I wasn’t ever convinced but thought nothing more of it.

I’m now reconsidering what that was about 😩

Very disrespectful and creepy of him. He's objectifying your friend, so he probably does that to women in general.

This is him demonstrating to you who he really is. Pay attention to him there. I'd probably have told him at the time how inappropriate and creepy he was being. I might well rethink the relationship.

He sounds like a silly teenager, though I assume he isn't.

Urgh. That degrading bs wouldn’t have been better suited down the pub. You should have had your friends back and pulled your pathetic excuse for a human partner up on his disgusting comments immediately.

Sorry but no, "boys will be boys" is an utterly shit saying, meaning you allow shit behaviours. Nope! That was disgusting and I would be furious at DH personally. I think that would live in my brain forever and I'd never feel body confident in front of him again.
And just to add, I have no issue with my partner finding other women attractive and to say so, but a simple "She's beautiful" or "I think she'd be your type (to his single mate)" or sth complimentary without being sexual and crass would have sufficed.

Your partner is a misogynistic arse. What a vile comment.

Please don't have DC with him. Oh and he was 100% perving over pics of your mate.

He’s extremely hungover as they went into town after they’d had drinks here.

I want to confront him but I know he’ll just be defensive and probably snappy so feel it’s best to wait for him to sober up and try to catch up on sleep.

The relationship has generally been strong and nothing like this has come up before. I’m thinking it was just bravado in front of his friend.

Ugh.

Dump him and go for the single friend!

I also struggle to believe this isn't the only sexist shit he's come out with while you've been together?

Absolutely disgusting way to talk about any woman, let alone one who is your friend.

He’s told you very clearly the lust and sexual thoughts he has about your friend.

He’s disrespected you in front of his friend.

That would have really bothered me ! I’d be thinking so you’ve basically fancied and fantasised about my best friend.

i think he was way out of line and I can see why you’re upset, I’d have been really upset.

Thank you for reminding me once again why I stay single.