Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell you about my night out with Dh. I'm fuming.

204 replies

poonarmme · 23/02/2025 00:10

I've been ill for 3 weeks in hospital. Home and able to go out out. The night went like this:
We went to a bar with music. I made a throw away joke/comment. Dh got the arse about it and spent 1.5 hours going on about it. Saying he needed space. And that i clearly have issues with him and that i need to say what these are. I said there are no issues. He said I'm a liar. He then preceeded to say I was drunk and he knew what was coming next, as its always what I say when drunk, and he was totally fed up over what I was allegedly about to say. I was gobsmacked. Apparently I always harp on about the same thing when drunk and i always say "I know all about you but I'm not prepared to say what it is I know". I don't say this and never have done in 20 years together. He clearly thinks differently
We then went into a different bar, a cab drive away. They had a live band. I was dancing. He said "are you really that naive I just want to punch him" I was like "what you talking about" he said "your so naive just f off and dance". Lots of other other similar comments like this from him through out the eve. We then left and started walking.
He said he wanted food on the way home and said "we will get a home delivery". I said do you mean a delivery at home ( we were almost at the food shop) he said "are you completely stupid why would we do that when we're at the food shop". He was v drunk but denied this.
I just feel like he has treated me like shit all night

OP posts:
NoWordForFluffy · 23/02/2025 08:07

You sound like the woman who sat on a kerb in the cold instead of walking home who posted a couple of months ago. It's very much time to leave this relationship, whether you're also kerb woman or not. It's also time for both of you to grow the fuck up!

LookItsMeAgain · 23/02/2025 08:08

He did treat you like shit all night. There is no discussion there.

Do you have kids?
I hope not, but if you do, don't have any more with him.

I would strongly urge you to begin to keep a journal of all of the things he says to you, whether they are supportive in nature or meant to hurt you or belittle you. Then over a short space of time you'll have a fairly good idea of whether you want to stay with someone who brings you down or lifts you up.

What you saw last night was a glimpse in to how he will speak to you as you grow older together. Do you want that?

Butchyrestingface · 23/02/2025 08:09

NoWordForFluffy · 23/02/2025 08:07

You sound like the woman who sat on a kerb in the cold instead of walking home who posted a couple of months ago. It's very much time to leave this relationship, whether you're also kerb woman or not. It's also time for both of you to grow the fuck up!

Someone said that upthread.

Her husband faceplanted on the pavement during last night's hijinks. Between them, they do seem to have quite an affinity for concrete.

Booboobagins · 23/02/2025 08:10

Hi @poonarmme I hope you managed to get some sleep x

You said you adore your DH but he treats you so badly - no respect at all - how much do you adore and value yourself in comparison? It sounds like you are levelling the adoration balance up, but honestly it needs to be higher in how you value yourself versus how you value someone who treats you badly.

For me this would be the end of tge relationship. It's toxic.

Sending a big hug. Please do what is right for you and that is not clamming up. Dont devalue your worth for anyone x

NoWordForFluffy · 23/02/2025 08:10

Butchyrestingface · 23/02/2025 08:09

Someone said that upthread.

Her husband faceplanted on the pavement during last night's hijinks. Between them, they do seem to have quite an affinity for concrete.

Show quote history

Ahhh, I read all the OP's posts but skimmed the rest!

Kerbs loom large in both of their lives! 🤣

Ritzybitzy · 23/02/2025 08:10

You’ve just come out of hospital and you both decide the first thing to do is go out out.

You're both toxic. Irresponsible at best. This was drunken nonsense. I suggest you both join AA.

JWhipple · 23/02/2025 08:12

You sound perfect for each other. It's nice you still enjoy banter together like this. A sign of affection. As I'm sure you are feeling grand this morning, and tending to your hungover spouse, maybe when he's feeling better, you could have a discussion about renewing your vows? Be a nice excuse for a get together as well.

Nowvoyager99 · 23/02/2025 08:13

Stravaig · 23/02/2025 07:08

Is this a new NHS aftercare protocol? 'On release from hospital, please ensure immediate binge drinking in a mutually toxic relationship.'

Ask your GP for a general health check, alcohol support, and a counselling referral. You seem to be engaged in multiple destructive behaviours.

Quite.

I hope you return to this thread sober @poonarmme as I think you genuinely need some help.

Your life sounds pretty shit, and it’s a precious life.

Sherararara · 23/02/2025 08:13

Ritzybitzy · 23/02/2025 08:10

You’ve just come out of hospital and you both decide the first thing to do is go out out.

You're both toxic. Irresponsible at best. This was drunken nonsense. I suggest you both join AA.

Yup. You both sound like immature idiots tbh.

5128gap · 23/02/2025 08:16

Your husband is a nasty drunk. If he's only nasty when drunk but wonderful the rest of the time, don't go out drinking with him again. If he's also nasty when sober then you need to review your relationship. I know for certain I'd not be spoken to like that more than once.

Irisilume · 23/02/2025 08:17

He sounds kind of unhinged and paranoid. I had an ex like this and he was constantly insinuating I was cheating or up to something, and I'm getting the same vibe from your DH. Is this unusual behaviour for him?

Titasaducksarse · 23/02/2025 08:22

What an exhausting way to live your lives.

rainbowstardrops · 23/02/2025 08:22

Sooverwork · 23/02/2025 02:23

You both sound like pissed 17 year olds. I just also find it weird that after being in hospital for 3 weeks you choose a boozy night out at pubs / music venues.

Quite.

Lyn397 · 23/02/2025 08:23

You both need to stop drinking.

JustRollWithIt · 23/02/2025 08:29

You are not compatible when drinking together.

biscuitsandbooks · 23/02/2025 08:38

You both sound delightful.

Luddite26 · 23/02/2025 08:40

You both don't sound very happy together.
Stop drinking both of you or split up.
Throwaway comments like yours can wind men up you probably know this and you know your dh is moody how did you want him to react.
My.mum used to do that to my step dad or get me to say things as a 7 year old child like oh do you want to go in that strip club if we were in London. It was like lighting a touch paper then seeing the drama unfold which regularly ended in him throwing his stuff all over her and leaving in a taxi in the middle of the night.
Drink just doesn't mix in your sort of relationship.

GettingThingsDoneSlowly · 23/02/2025 08:48

Sounds like you both need to stop drinking as that always makes things worse. Also I lost track of what the actual issue is, how old are you? This sounds really petty

ssd · 23/02/2025 08:52

friendlycat · 23/02/2025 00:28

I’m gobsmacked you’re both in your 50s and behaving like this.

This. You sound like a right pair of fannies

EmeraldShamrock000 · 23/02/2025 08:58

Alcohol is very bad for some people, including myself.

Stop drinking together at the very least.

dottiedodah · 23/02/2025 09:06

Time to grow the fuck up? ! Really reading your post I thought you were early 20s! I am a similar age to you. Had cancer and not drinking at all.i think u need to consider your liver if you have been ill.also any DC whatever age its a bad example to them

BallerinaRadio · 23/02/2025 09:08

Fucking hell I'd be deleting this as soon I'd woken up from my hangover from not being drunk what an embarrassment

Bogginsthe3rd · 23/02/2025 09:10

AuntAgathaGregson · 23/02/2025 08:04

Why quote the OP? Every comment on here is taken to relate to the OP unless you say otherwise.

Show quote history

The heavy drinking binge post 3 week hospital stay is worrying

FallOfTheHouseOfUtterlyButterly · 23/02/2025 09:15

OldChairMan · 23/02/2025 05:51

May be he's just a nightmare to be around and you don't need to make up little stories in an attempt to justify his behaviour.

Show quote history

Maybe she's a nightmare to be around and telling the story to make her look better?

Seeing as she deliberately didn't mention the "joke" she made at first. And her overreactive posts here...

Wishihadanalgorithm · 23/02/2025 09:19

There’s too much drama in all of this. You can either leave or remove alcohol from the relationship. If not, the pair of you are stuck in this merry-go-round for a long time.

Swipe left for the next trending thread