To tell you about my night out with Dh. I'm fuming.

[poonarmme]

I've been ill for 3 weeks in hospital. Home and able to go out out. The night went like this:
We went to a bar with music. I made a throw away joke/comment. Dh got the arse about it and spent 1.5 hours going on about it. Saying he needed space. And that i clearly have issues with him and that i need to say what these are. I said there are no issues. He said I'm a liar. He then preceeded to say I was drunk and he knew what was coming next, as its always what I say when drunk, and he was totally fed up over what I was allegedly about to say. I was gobsmacked. Apparently I always harp on about the same thing when drunk and i always say "I know all about you but I'm not prepared to say what it is I know". I don't say this and never have done in 20 years together. He clearly thinks differently
We then went into a different bar, a cab drive away. They had a live band. I was dancing. He said "are you really that naive I just want to punch him" I was like "what you talking about" he said "your so naive just f off and dance". Lots of other other similar comments like this from him through out the eve. We then left and started walking.
He said he wanted food on the way home and said "we will get a home delivery". I said do you mean a delivery at home ( we were almost at the food shop) he said "are you completely stupid why would we do that when we're at the food shop". He was v drunk but denied this.
I just feel like he has treated me like shit all night

This sounds like a 2-way drunken argument. Your OP is written in a rambling drunk way. Just have some water, sleep it off, let it go and the next time you’re both out, drink less.

You both sound as bad as each other

Someone with zero respect for taxpayers' investment in their health.

I would be better off dead then I can't be misinterpreted or understood or annoying or sat the wrong thing ever again

You keep insisting you’re sober but this is not the way a sober 50 something would respond to the situation and/or feedback from posters.

You both sound drunk and far, far younger than the age you claim to be. Laying off alcohol may lead to a dramatic improvement in how the pair of you communicate.

Throw him out, leave. Make a plan. You're better off alone.

Only read part of the first page but I can’t believe people excusing him, saying ‘it depends what your throwaway comment was’ and so on.

Nothing excuses his appalling behaviour. To keep on making dogs, insults and accusations all night is awful behaviour. OP is right to be upset.

At the very least he’s a mean drunk. And if so, he needs to stop drinking.

He said, she said, he said, she said.

I think it doesn't really matter who said what in this particular fight.
What matters is that this sounds like a miserable relationship for both parties. You don't speak like that to people you love/like ever, drunk or otherwise.

It's obvious.

He panicked because of your comment re younger women and keeps saying that you will say "I know what you did/doing/something about you" BECAUSE he is paranoid that you know he is having an affair (or has cheated on you).

He is feeling very guilty so picked a fight whilst letting some very obvious behaviour come through.

Regardless of anything else ..I have zero respect for 50 yr old men who would date 25 yr old (max) women. Whether they say it drunk or not. There are no pleasant personality traits that come with that.

Are you the same poster from a few weeks (months?) ago on here who’s husband went home and left her in town after a drunken argument?

Couldn't be bothered to read past the post where you say you're in your fifties. You sound drunk, rambling and with the emotional maturity of a toddler. Your other half sounds very similar. Water finds its own level.

You both sound very immature. Booze is obviously not doing you any favour and making you both miserable

I think you've had a bad rap on here OP, but that's what you get when you post in AIBU unfortunately. Better to post on the Relationships board in future.

Your DH sounds like a twat. His comment that he wouldn't date anyone over 25 when he's in his 50s is yuk. The thought of someone his age letching over either of my DDs who are around this age gives me the creeps. How was that supposed to make you feel as his 50+ year old wife? To then go on about it for 1.5hrs sounds like he was itching for a fight.

What did he mean about you being naive and him wanting to punch someone? Were you dancing with/near another bloke?

I've no idea how you can 'adore' someone like this, but then going out clubbing right after three weeks in hospital being ill, maybe you don't have terrific judgement all round.

You say you adore him but he treats you like utter shit. Honestly just LTB and put both of you out of your misery.

That poster said they were in their 50s too, didn't they? Despite sounding decades younger.

I think you have had a very hard time on this thread OP.

He treated you really badly, was spoiling for a fight.

And saying 25 is the oldest he would date is sleazy.

Yes, same ages, same posting style and same issues..

Extremely sensible and responsible being in hospital 3 weeks and then go out to get bladdered

You're out boozing after three weeks in hospital? Doesn't sound great to begin with.
You both sound like you need to lay off the sauce and act your age.

Alcohol. The end.

It sounds as if you are both quite big drinkers.
The potential for arguments (and aggression) doubles once you have alcohol inside you. The dangerous thing about that, is that you can no longer trust your own instincts to know what’s right or wrong.
Nobody here can say who was right, who was wrong from these random facts but your DH doesn’t sound like a kindly sort of person when he’s had a drink, that’s for sure. I wouldn’t want to meet him on a night out.

I understand youngsters wanting to go to bars with music and dancing and heavy drinking followed by unhealthy fast food. But I would think 50 year olds might have been able to wise up a bit, especially if they are only just over a three week hospital stay.

Once you are both sober and rested and have had time to think calmly, you can talk together about your night out and get over it. Or you can talk and trust your instincts again, to help yourself.
Either way, put your health and well-being first and don’t take it for granted.

Over 25 not under.

A 50 year old man saying the oldest he’d date is 25 is disgusting. Your DH sounds really unpleasant. Is this sort of argument a regular thing in your marriage? You don’t seem to like each other very much. Him having a go at you for something he was convinced you were about to say but wouldn’t tell you what is really manipulative. I agree with PPs, it sounds like he wants out of the relationship but doesn’t want to be the one to end it so is trying to force you into it.

Why quote the OP? Every comment on here is taken to relate to the OP unless you say otherwise.

What exactly is adorable about him?