To tell you about my night out with Dh. I'm fuming.

[poonarmme]

I've been ill for 3 weeks in hospital. Home and able to go out out. The night went like this:
We went to a bar with music. I made a throw away joke/comment. Dh got the arse about it and spent 1.5 hours going on about it. Saying he needed space. And that i clearly have issues with him and that i need to say what these are. I said there are no issues. He said I'm a liar. He then preceeded to say I was drunk and he knew what was coming next, as its always what I say when drunk, and he was totally fed up over what I was allegedly about to say. I was gobsmacked. Apparently I always harp on about the same thing when drunk and i always say "I know all about you but I'm not prepared to say what it is I know". I don't say this and never have done in 20 years together. He clearly thinks differently
We then went into a different bar, a cab drive away. They had a live band. I was dancing. He said "are you really that naive I just want to punch him" I was like "what you talking about" he said "your so naive just f off and dance". Lots of other other similar comments like this from him through out the eve. We then left and started walking.
He said he wanted food on the way home and said "we will get a home delivery". I said do you mean a delivery at home ( we were almost at the food shop) he said "are you completely stupid why would we do that when we're at the food shop". He was v drunk but denied this.
I just feel like he has treated me like shit all night

This.

Yes, that, and grow up.

OP, I could hardly believe it when I read you were in your fifties, more like 22 out on the lash.

OP, when you say to someone "we all know why you....." the usual implication is that the other person has done something worthy of reproach or mockery, and also that the rest of the group are aware of this open secret are collectively judging them. This might be a bit of light hearted banter in some situations, but its also the kind of thing said my mouthy drunks in the Queen Vic when the writers of Eastenders want to add a bit of drama.
You obviously meant it as banter, but it sort of does tie with his accusation that you "say things when I really mean x and why don't i just say x". He was drunk and he overreacted, which was bad of him, and I'm guessing the nonsense that followed was his reaction to what he drunkenly perceived as your embarrassing him in front of the group, when by that point he was just embarrassing himself.
Neither of you come out of this looking great, I feel sorry for the friends whose night out was ruined by "that" couple.

Your comment hit him where it hurts - his emotional immaturity in front of friends. He answered truthfully why he wouldn't date anyone older than 25 and then realised that being a male of 50, the answer was up to jokes. You even made it clearer about who he is when you said "we all know why you said that" and everyone laughed.

Men like your DH hate being confronted with their own insecurities, immaturity and misogyny in public. Because they hate it, they'll find ways to punish you, like saying you were drunk when you are sober and they were drunk.

This is not how a loving DH behaves. We can rib each other in a pub with good friends but there is no emotional abuse later.

And that's the real problem - the emotional abuse he's been inflicting on you.

What were you in hospital for? Must have been quite serious to have stayed in there for 3 weeks. When did you get out?

I think you should consider giving up booze op

Okay so you called him a perve and he said you always say you know something about him but won't say what.

Sounds like he's got a wardrobe full to me.

Hope your hangover isn't too bad.

A man in his fifties saying he wouldn’t date someone under 25? He strikes me as a pervert. Why they think an under 25 would want them unless they’re rich.

Also not a very nice thing to say to his wife in her fifties. Sounds like negging to me. Don’t let him make you tread on eggshells

What a nasty thing to say, as are your other comments. Imagine waking up at this time and already being so venomous.

Are you sure you're in your 50s, @poonarmme ?
Mosy couples grow out of such pathetic sniping at each other and goading each other.
Argue when sober if you must

OP you sounded really upset last night like the scales had come off your eyes re your DH. I hope morning gives you some clarity to think it all through and make decisions for you. You don't sound happy. He sounds disrespectful and hate filled...don't put up with that. Leave

You just keep repeating yourself! Leave him or don't leave him. Both of you stop drinking

He sounds awful. The whole night sounds exhausting.

If he doesn't normally act like this maybe something is on his mind/bothering him and the alcohol has made him 'have it out' without properly addressing what it is? Not really the behaviour of a 50 year old but it happens.

i was thinking the same thing.

Is this a new NHS aftercare protocol? 'On release from hospital, please ensure immediate binge drinking in a mutually toxic relationship.'

Ask your GP for a general health check, alcohol support, and a counselling referral. You seem to be engaged in multiple destructive behaviours.

You both sound like you need to stay off the booze and grow up a bit. I’m shocked you’re both in your 50s, sounds very immature!

This reads like the way my 15 year old might speak

The NHS is on its knees...I don't really think alcohol support is required for someone who has had a rough night out!

You're being deemed as drunk because your posts are incoherent.

You were in hospital for THREE weeks. I can only assume it must have been pretty serious /complex. Why would you then be out drinking.
Must admit you do sound drunk and argumentative.
You probably need some rest. It must have been a highly worrying and emotional three weeks for all involved.

Seriously, you are in your fifties? You sound about fifteen. And whatever your age, you clearly need to cut back on the drinking.

Who goes out on the sauce after three weeks in hospital?

Do you actually like each other?

Both of you sound incredibly immature, I thought you were going to say you were teenagers or early 20s.
Please, both of you, reduce your alcohol intake.