To tell you about my night out with Dh. I'm fuming.

[poonarmme]

I've been ill for 3 weeks in hospital. Home and able to go out out. The night went like this:
We went to a bar with music. I made a throw away joke/comment. Dh got the arse about it and spent 1.5 hours going on about it. Saying he needed space. And that i clearly have issues with him and that i need to say what these are. I said there are no issues. He said I'm a liar. He then preceeded to say I was drunk and he knew what was coming next, as its always what I say when drunk, and he was totally fed up over what I was allegedly about to say. I was gobsmacked. Apparently I always harp on about the same thing when drunk and i always say "I know all about you but I'm not prepared to say what it is I know". I don't say this and never have done in 20 years together. He clearly thinks differently
We then went into a different bar, a cab drive away. They had a live band. I was dancing. He said "are you really that naive I just want to punch him" I was like "what you talking about" he said "your so naive just f off and dance". Lots of other other similar comments like this from him through out the eve. We then left and started walking.
He said he wanted food on the way home and said "we will get a home delivery". I said do you mean a delivery at home ( we were almost at the food shop) he said "are you completely stupid why would we do that when we're at the food shop". He was v drunk but denied this.
I just feel like he has treated me like shit all night

So you more or less called him a perve?

And he either reacted in righteous indignation plus sulk, OR was protesting too much..,,

Well being 50ish and salivating over a 25 yr old is kind of that. Isn’t it.

I learned a long long time ago to never try and discuss relationship issues or argue when there's alcohol involved. It never ends well.

Get some water, sleep it off, and look at it fresh in the morning.

So DH is in his 50s and said that if he was single the oldest woman he would date would be 25?

And you are his wife, also in her 50s.

You have no reason to be offended by his answer, as it was a hypothetical question, but it is crazy that he is the one who feels offended when people found this story amusing, which seems to be the case.

You're both in your 50s?
Shit I expected younger

Considering that on MN a 50 year old man wanting a 25 year old is one step above a peado, I can see why he took it badly

Are you 100% sure you don't say things when drunk?

Maybe he saw a bloke letching over you whilst you danced whom you ignored but he felt jealous of?

Bet hes pissed off that he had to do everything while you were in hospital

I really feel like note to self :
Don't say a thing as it could be taken out of context. Don't accidentally insinuate/suggest/or otherwise. Say absolutely nothing then you can't be accused. Just answer when appropriate and nothing else.

I feel so very sad. For him to say he was pissed at me for what I was ABOUT to say. I hadn't even said what he thought I would say. For him to then say it's the same every time I have a drink and I did similar last night. Yet he couldn't give me an example from last night. Last night I had a drink at home with him. I was not drunk. I know what I said and that was nothing out of sort.

He doesn't deserve me

It sounds like you're both drink, sleep it off and recalibrate in the morning.

I suspect you're particularly disappointed as you hadn't had a night out in ages and it went wrong. Which I get.

But in the grand scheme of things, is it really worth fighting over? If it is a pattern of behaviour that's a bit different though.

Christ on a cracker you both sound like teenagers.

@murasaki he spoke to me like shit. He accused me of apparently what I was going to say. He accused me of always saying "I know you did x not I'm not saying what x is". I have absolutely never said in my life. He said "you're so naive just f off and dance" then called me completely stupid. He won't remember any of this tomorrow.
But I will

Is this normal behaviour for him? My DH and I are similar ages, been together 29 years and I'd be absolutely shocked if he spoke to me like this. Has there been issues at work ir something else going on or is this something not that unexpected from him?

This man doesn’t respect you. You came out of the hospital and went clubbing. You should be home getting yourself well. It seems like he really didn’t want you at the bars with him and you wrecked his night. Take from there, this man isn’t worth your spit. Move on and don’t go out to bars anymore, explicitly with him.

Your reactions on here lead me to think you are much drunker than you claim and you are still looking for a fight...

And don’t drink after you just got out of the hospital.

It sounds shitty from him, and like he thought some guy was perving at you dancing, while you hadn't even noticed and it might not have been true anyway. I fiddle with my necklace too, and my friend said it draws eyes to your tits, I genuinely hadn't thought of that and that wasn't why I was doing it, I'm a fidgeter and it just happens. I can't help it so don't care.

I hope you can sort it out tomorrow.

@poonarmme Sorry OP, but your posts are so confusing I'm not convinced you're sober either. Maybe get some sleep and see how you feel in the morning?

You're in your 50s??

Dear heaven, I thought it was early 20s!

Time you both grew up

Not normal behaviour. The bit where he said I say to him "I know you did x but I'm not prepared to say what x is". Is total bulllshit. I have never once knowingly said this ever in 20 years.
I do believe that what you say when drunk is the truth. At least now I know what he truly thinks of me. Maybe be has a guilty conscious...

I thought they both sound about 12.

OP, I think it’s likely that you are also very drunk. I would try to get some sleep now if I were you.

OP, maybe you should get some sleep.

I now know what dh really thinks of me. He's often said I say things when I really mean x and why don't i just say x as that's what I mean/want. That has never been true. Ever. Now this.
I adore dh. But it seems I'm misinterpreted in every saying and action.
I would be better off dead then I can't be misinterpreted or understood or annoying or sat the wrong thing ever again
No I'm not drunk.

You've just said you would be better off dead...

That's not a normal reaction, especially from a 50 year old

Either you are in fact a troll or you are very drunk and don't realise

I'm neither a troll or a drunk
Why would I be deemed as either of these just because I said I'd be better off dead ? Tonight my dh says truly made me feel like the biggest bag of shite ever
And I'm deemed a troll or drunk for that ? !?
What ever

You all are in your 50's?! This sounds like the kind of nonsense me and my mates fell out over at 19 after a night getting plastered on schnapps in a graveyard or some shit. Are you not too fucking old for this kind of buffoonery?