Should I tell my DP that I know he is lying

[JadeMember]

So my DP (46) does a cold lake swimming with a group of women. He is the only man and ladies are in the range of 40-70yrs. He got into the group through the lady he met through my son’s sport. I never met her as I’m at the different sport with my DD. So my DP called me today when I was at work and told me that the group is going to a charity event in the evening and someone pulled out, they need someone to fill the space, and if I would mind if he goes with them. I really don’t care tbh as my DC are with their dad tonight and I’m just happy having a me time. So my DP just send me a photos from the event and it’s not a charity event! It’s a silent disco😂. I googled the location and the name of the event that was on the banners in the photo. I don’t know why he lied. He doesn’t go out a lot and I don’t mind when he does go out. We don’t live in ‘each other’s pockets’ and are independent with our interests so I don’t understand why he lied. I don’t know if I should just leave it because I’m not really that worried or should I actually be worried about it and question it when he gets home?

I would assume he doesn’t know what a silent disco is?

How do you know it wasn't a charity event at a silent disco?

What’s the difference? Maybe he thought it was a charity silent disco. Maybe there’s background you haven’t shared …

He literally sent you pictures so I don’t think this is exactly a surprise moment, he isn’t hiding his location. It can still be charity related as an event, why not just ask what the charity bit of it was when you see him tomorrow?

Why are you assuming he lied?
If he was asked to go as a last minute substitute for someone else perhaps he didn't pick up clearly what the event actually was.
I have no idea what a silent disco is.

Eh, where's the lie? And surely if he was lying he wouldn't send you literal photographic evidence! You're massively overreacting.

It could be a charity event still?

It's an odd lie.

Wait and see what he tells you when he gets in. He could be telling the truth, lots of charity events are just normal things but proceeds go towards charity.

If he says it was a boring event, completely made up, then you know you have an issue.

Maybe he thought silent disco like a silent auction?

Are you sure they weren't raising money through a admissions or drinks etc?

I wouldn't accuse of lying unless you are certain.

If he did lie then I would say something because I hate lies, even "harmless" ones.

I think it sets the foundation for not so harmless ones.

You all have headphones and listen and dance to the music like that. They're fun.

I think it is more odd that a boyfriend of yours is taking your son to a sports event and not either of his parents 🤔

He sent you a photo, he’s not hiding anything. You don’t sound that relaxed about ‘not living in each others pockets’.

Could just be a miscommunication or it could be both or he could be a bit daft and not know the difference but in the absence of any other evidence it doesn't seem suspicious

Could easily be a charity silent disco - https://silentdiscoparty.uk/silent-disco-charity-fundraising/

Maybe he thought he was going to a silent auction and got confused...

What is the lie?

Why would he make up a lie that a non-charity event was a charity event? Surely he’s misunderstood and this is just a total non-event.

Why can't it still be a charity event?

He sent you pictures, so he's not hiding anything?

Eh? Her partner clearly lives with them. I’d say it’s very functional and nice that he takes the son to a sport. How awful - a step parent daring to take interest 🙄

Can't it be a silent disco in aid of a charity?

I feel so silly to write that post now after seeing the comments. I don’t know something felt off for me but I’m also peri menopausal and not having a lot of sleep. Maybe I’m just delirious from lack of sleep. My DP just called me and he is on the way home. It was a silent disco and some part of money raised goes to a charity, hence charity event. He had a brilliant time. Is feeling paranoid for no reason symptom of PM?

We all feel a little jealous sometimes op. At least you told us instead of ruining his night! Tomorrow is a new day

He could have easily thought a silent disco was like a silent auction. And it could still be a fundraising thing for the swimming group, might not be a big official charity but they could be raising money for a minibus or changing room facility or Brenda’s knee op.

Lying husbands don’t usually send pics from the said event they’re lying about.