Nursery staffs older children playing with my 14 month old

[CalmPanda]

My daughters (14m) been going to a nursery full time for a few months now. She's come on leaps and bounds and really enjoys it there. There's just one thing that's really bugging me and I'm not sure whether I'm worried for nothing.

All the nursery staff have children that either go to the nursery or the primary school next door. For weeks now the nursery staff have been telling us 'funny stories' of how obsessed one of the workers sons is with our daughter. How much he loves playing with her and comes into the baby room to feed her her breakfast before he goes to school. He's 7. His mum works in the room so watches all the time, but it just feels weird that a significantly older child gets to be around my daughter and I have no idea who it is, what he's like and what they do together.

All the staff paint a picture that it's so funny/cute and that my daughter loves it. But I can't help but feel like this shouldn't be something happening at a private nursery. AIBU?

There is nothing to say that there is a problem with the staff having children there. I expect if the OP checked the policies it is all listed.
I imagine she even knew this when signing up to the nursery as in the first post she says that the staff ALL bring their children either to the nursery or they are there before going to the school next door. It's not like it's one or two being snuck in in an emergency!
I think a passing comment has now triggered the OP into worrying about older children having to contact with her baby.

My son is 7 and absolutely loves babies, some of them just do! It's really sweet for her son to do that, do you have a problem just cos it's a wee boy?

I can't speak for anywhere else but where I work in a nursery, staff children are facilitated if necessary. Not if they are sick but if they have a random day off school or some other childcare arrangement isn't working. I'm with older kids so my primary school age kids came with me once or twice and did colouring and played with the kids. They are extremely strict on ratios adult to child and on numbers in general, there is a limit per sq metre so anything that's happening is within the requirements. We didn't inform the parents of the kids that my kids were there, no even mentioned it. In the baby room older siblings often come in to help, so the other babies in the room also would be exposed to whoever is visiting. Honestly I've never heard a complaint and it never genuinely occurred to me that someone would find this wrong or weird.

I agree it’s a baby room or a toddler room they share with other children that age. The 7 year old surely would want to be around people his own age not in feeding a baby. It’s not his job to feed the baby even if supervised and what if the baby choked or anything happened. Weird! The Mum or worker should be saying thanks for help tho this is a baby area you are counted in the numbers with the other children.

My son is almost five and enjoys babies/toddlers. I think he finds them non threatening, ie don't grab toys or hit like some classmates, and tend to be cute and smiley.

Little guy probably loves helping his mammy out at work🥰

Oh my god why is everyone so on board with this and against the OP?! I would absolutely not be happy with random children coming into the baby room with my children there. Especially not the children of the nursery workers. Our nursery make sure that staff work in another room to their child if the child also attends the nursery. It’s not meant to be just a free for all where anyone can just wander in & have a play?! It’s a baby room FFS. Nurseries charge enough as it is without them also using it for wraparound care for the staff.

I would check the details in your joining documentation OP in case anything is mentioned but sounds like it’s more of an informal set up that they’re running which might not be suited to you. Either way - if you’re not happy then defo speak up about it. It’s your child so you do whatever you feel is best for them & whatever puts you at ease while they’re in the care of others. Good luck.

I think could be an issue with ratios because the adult that is there to look after you LO is also looking after older children, if there was ever an accident where would she stand.

It will do your daughter good to have interaction with older kids. It sounds very sweet! I get it, first born child and feeling nervous about things a bit out of the rulebook, but really what's the worst that's going to happen?? We've completely lost touch with normal human interaction haven't we.

So what happens when the fire alarm goes off,? I bet the mum looks out for her own son first. My daughters' school wouldn't allow parent helpers to accompany their own kids for this reason. It is totally unprofessional to take your kids to work every day.

This , we do people look for harm everywhere.

I wouldn’t like it personally… go with your gut on everything regardless if you think you’re being overboard or not? Has anyone ever been wrong for being over protective with thier kids?

Exactly. Thank goodness our school is professional and not the family gang turning up to a school environment. If he was 11 then it would still be her child and I'm sure then people would have a problem. Only teachers or staff should be with the kids.

Exactly! It would put me off a place that was so unprofessional like this.

Give over!
That's lovely.

Has anyone else wondered why a 14 month old would need to be fed? At th
at age they should be able to eat bite size finger foods.

I'd be cross that I'm paying a nursery ridiculous sums for adult care. I think you're feeling it's unprofessional rather than being upset about the boy. I'd also be worried about him feeding them breakfast. Even the most well-meaning 7 y/o could cause harm if not properly supervised and you're not paying for your kid to be fed by a child. I'm wondering what impact this would have on their liability insurance too.

My grandson loved babies and small children & they loved him. He worked at Camp America 2 successive years and was awarded "best counsellor ever", went to DC to receive it. He's travelled widely, in OZ atm, makes friends easily and has hundreds. His sister on the other hand cannot be bothered with youngsters; has no patience for them but gets on so well with elderly people. & really enjoys their company.

the difference is that the 7 year old is not employed at the nursery

My little boy is 3 and his nursery has an after school club and school holiday club in the pre-school room and pictures were put on this week where he was playing with a little girl who looked maybe 7 or 8 and I thought it was really sweet 😊 He loves playing with older children and I think it is a great opportunity for them to both experience this type of mixed age play in a safe environment where like you said they are being watched all the time 😊 Do you get photos from nursery? If you’re concerned I would just ask to see some pictures of them playing together to put your mind at ease 🤗

I get what your saying, what if said older childn was to over feed your Lo and they choked. But also its the same in primary nursery's my youngest is 3 being monitored for adhd/Aut. But at the school she attends older pupils come to read with nursery kids, my girl really clicks with one of the children (who also has Autism) she's 10. Honestly as soon as they see each other absolutely massive smiles and excitement. I know her mum also (which helps as I know she would never hurt my girl). But if your not happy with it as if she can separate them. You are paying for the care of you baby x

Supervised and not by a child.

Ask the adults if you can meet this boy, I wouldn't be happy about someone I didn't know being familiar with my baby/toddler, there's probably no harm in what he's doing, but insist on saying hello if nothing else

When my DC were little I paid THOUSANDS for them to be in a mixed age group setting at a Montessori school. You're getting it for free. My reaction as I read your post was "what a lucky baby!".

Please, relax. Your baby is getting nothing but benefit from this. So is the boy (but you don't seem to care about him), and so are the parents. You're very lucky to have this. See it for what it is, put your anxieties away. They're not necessary.

In the Montessori system a 14month old child isn’t fed by another child.