Single mum 45k a year in south east but just scraping by?

[Plantball]

There was a time I once thought a household income after tax of 45k meant a comfortable life. I am a single mum of two young kids in the south east. Rent alone is 18k of the money gone. I feel like I’m merely existing. Running a car, council tax, gas, electricity, food, kids clothes, shoes, clubs…

The money just doesn't go far. I know I am fortunate compared so many and I’m not pleading poverty. Just feeling very flat at never being able to better our life.

Easiest answer ever. You need to move from London. Think of all the money you’ve spent on inflated London rent that you could have put towards a mortgage of your own.

Not in London but Kent!

It’s hard to move as a single parent sometimes, if the other parent is involved and nearby …

And absolutely you’re not being unreasonable about money. I think you’re doing really well to manage on that actually. I earn more but still have bugger all left each month. Kudos!

Yeah I used to think 45k was a lot but it doesn’t seem to stretch very far anymore.

How old are you? Any chance you might be able to get promoted in future? Do you get any maintenance?

£18k a year on rent is criminal. It actually should be a crime.

(unless it's a mansion and you're living it large)

I earn just over that in the NE and it's comfortable. My mortgage is half what my rent in the SE was. Depends on the situation with the dad and contact but if you can relocate, that's the answer.

Unfortunately I think salaries that sound decent no longer feel decent as they haven’t kept pace with costs, especially rent and childcare. So I sympathise. To be honest, £45k as a household income does not sound a lot in the SE

I’m in a similar position and I’m planning on moving up north. I’d already moved out of London to a commuter place but that is now unaffordable. It’s a bit gutting to move 200 miles from friends and family but it’s the only way I can make the numbers add up. Have promised the kids a dog if we do as I feel so bad at uprooting them AGAIN.

Can you move up north?

There was a time I once thought a household income after tax of 45k meant a comfortable life

It's the equivalent to 36k in 2020 & 30k in 2010. Wages have stagnated.

Have you checked if you are eligable for UC? You might be with high rent, especially if you have any childcare costs

I've heard Wigan has really nice parts that are really cheap or Newcastle.

I wish there was more affordable housing, as if you weren’t paying £1500 a month on rent you’d be a lot better off.

YANBU. That's how much I earn and I know I'd struggle on my own. Salaries haven't kept up with inflation for a long time.

The OP said after tax so is earning more than 60k assuming she is paying into a pension.

45k used to be sustainable now it isn't. Moving can also be problematic. We moved to South Glos and our rent is only marginally lower than it was in Surrey but I lost 15% of my salary due to not getting HCAS. So unless you are far north or across the Welsh border, there is no chance of getting by on 45k and to not feel like you are spinning your wheels.

I hate when people say ‘just move’. Some of us were actually born and bred in London you know, it’s not that easy to just up and leave your friends, family, kids friends and schools, community, jobs…

I get it OP, we are in the same boat and most of my friends who feel the same (in professional jobs, earning enough to not qualify for any help but not enough to have anything leftover at the end of the month) are nurses, teachers, social workers, speech therapists… does London not need any of these professions? Is it right that we should all just move away?

Anyway OP I know you’re not even in London but it’s a pet hate of mine when people say this!!

OP is earning ~£70,000 a year.

I agree OP, you would think this would afford you a decent standard of living.

Problem is, at ~£3,750 a month after tax… you’re probably taking home about the same as two people on minimum wage.

Despite earning £20,000 more than them.

Our tax system is increasingly ridiculous.

The rent is shocking too

£45k after tax is a shit load

I think I am not being clear I am not earning through a job all that, it’s just what we have!

1.2k is universal credit
1.5k is wages
1k is child maintenance.

I can’t afford to even save money. I am trying to work more hours but I am solely responsible for two young children. Their dad is rarely on the scene. Spinning 100 plates here!

always lived in south east. All friends and family, school, work is here. **

Especially when in the same breath they complain about "Londoners" moving into their village and raising property prices.

So £1700 a month after rent, is much of that going on childcare? How big is your house?