Single mum 45k a year in south east but just scraping by?

[Plantball]

There was a time I once thought a household income after tax of 45k meant a comfortable life. I am a single mum of two young kids in the south east. Rent alone is 18k of the money gone. I feel like I’m merely existing. Running a car, council tax, gas, electricity, food, kids clothes, shoes, clubs…

The money just doesn't go far. I know I am fortunate compared so many and I’m not pleading poverty. Just feeling very flat at never being able to better our life.

Nothing to add except you have my understanding and respect....just keep going and give any spare time you might ever get to 'recharging' your batteries. And one day, you will find that you're very slightly ahead of the storm.

Never compare your life to how others seem to have it; there's never a guarantee that they will never face similar difficulties and it hurts worse for the smug when it happens.

Keep going OP and allow yourself to be weak and weep at the end of a tough day. Women like you are why the world still turns round.

If it helps, people on Uc are expected to live on £333 a month. I mean actually wtaf can you do with that?

And as the saying goes people generally tend to live to their means.

Down south it's impossible normally to get a mortgage or survive alone.

Agree with this post !

OP is on UC and isn’t expected to live on that…

It's bog standard round here, I'm in Sussex 2 bed bungalow

Why haven’t wages kept up at least a little with inflation? I’ve earned the same (45k) for the last 4-5 years, in the same job, doing well but pay rises have been max 1k a year.

Oh my I wish I was in a mansion. I’m in a tiny house you can’t swing a cat in that’s a bit tired looking. £1.7k a month goes on

£200 council tax
£210 gas and electric
£300 fuel
£500 food
then there are contents insurance, car insurance, kids clubs…. It doesn’t go far! Then the washing machine breaks or some other appliance and then I spend my money paying that item back.
no holidays here!

@TheHateIsNotGood thank you so much for this.

South East, much lower, managing and I am even saving my whole salary

Please let me know how?!

45k isn't a huge wage in 2025 and you're a single income household living in the most expensive region. Not surprised it's a struggle.

You have my sympathy OP. It's so tough. I'm a single parent on 45k before tax and I already live up north. My mortgage is not like your rent but I'm literally down to the last fiver before payday every month. We keep going right?! 🧡

Just an observation to aim to help...

£300 on fuel seems very high. I drive 25 miles per day and spend less than £100 a month. Is your car costing more than it would if you traded it in for a more economical one?

£500 on food also seems very high. We spend £400 a month and there are 4 of us. Could you cut back there, for example a cheaper supermarket?

Also I would cancel contents insurance and pay it into an easy access savings account instead. You can easily get 3.5% at the moment.

I'm in the similar situation - moving out of London would either mean expensive commute or over 10k/ year less pay.

Don’t cancel contents insurance!! It’ll cost thousands if you have a fire and have to replace everything.

Agree with the rest, there must be ways to save on those food and fuel bills.

The only way to live a comfortable life on an average-good salary now is to have multiple earners. I’m comfortable but only because my husband earns well, if it was just me, I’d be very tight indeed.

Do you have any family you could live with for a while (in a bigger place) to share costs?

Ultimately, whilst times are tight, it won’t last forever. You’re doing an amazing job raising two children, keep your chin up. You should be proud of all you’re accomplishing.

You need a mortgage on a small place , even if it is a 2 bed flat, so the crazy rent stops. We run 1 small car, careful how many kids activities.

Mortgage here is only 700 pounds

It is all tied to my husband's salary which is less than yours, really less. I work part time and save all my money, sometimes I work 35 h a week, sometimes just 10

We do have holidays and when something needs replacing, replace it. My husband lost his savings due to the cost of living crisis but I have mine and they are not a secret. But really we do not make combined more than 30 000 smth and we spend a lot on food also.

Buy somewhere if you can....rents are horrible affair

How much of a deposit did you put on your house?

£1500 a month salary? Is that full time?

A lot of your income is maintenance and benefits. Do you have a plan for when the children turn 18? Hopefully you’ll be able to work and earn more at that point.
It’s housing isn’t it? Makes it impossible to do anything other than cope. Thanks goodness your children’s father at least pays decent maintenance. I think UC doesn’t take that into account so you’d be managing on 1000 less every month - or most likely not managing.
Your income is actually very high though at the equivalent of a 70k salary.

tens of thousands on the first place and we have been in the second for 10 years now and my husband was overpaying until he could. So good equity as well

That was my response too! I think people skimmed over the ‘after tax’ part!

Splitting everything by 12, you have a monthly take home of approx £3750, rent is approx £1500 (agree that is criminal) but you do still have around £2250 left over, which is a lot of disposable income, even including bills?

That’s why it’s not achievable for OP then unfortunately.

So if rent is 1.5k a month then you have 2.2k leftover, that should be ample to live on and save some. Could you list your outgoings so we could help you identify any overspending?