Single mum 45k a year in south east but just scraping by?

[Plantball]

There was a time I once thought a household income after tax of 45k meant a comfortable life. I am a single mum of two young kids in the south east. Rent alone is 18k of the money gone. I feel like I’m merely existing. Running a car, council tax, gas, electricity, food, kids clothes, shoes, clubs…

The money just doesn't go far. I know I am fortunate compared so many and I’m not pleading poverty. Just feeling very flat at never being able to better our life.

And as op said - if she worked more she loses some uc it’s 55p in a £ so not the same as being taxed. Double that

but the overall amount is still around 3.5k a month including maintenance which after paying rent of £1.5k a month

leaves op with £2k - month for food bills and swimming lessons

it is incredibly hard being a single parent. I didn’t expect to be one and unlike op I don’t have ex paying maintenance of £1k. I get £28 a month but I work hard so that dd has swimming lessons and gym lessons as that’s her passion

Please break that down, how does this equate to 58k?

She doesn’t have a better lifestyle than me. I earn much more money than she receives. I don’t need benefits and have no resentment towards people who do need them. I just find it strange that people complain when they are receiving generous benefits. Especially in this case, when they are not on the breadline, can run a house and a car, provide their children with swimming lessons and clubs, it’s still not enough 🤷🏻‍♀️.

£1.2k a month, just given to her, is not generous? Your attitude is disgraceful.

Please break that down, how does this equate to 58k?

You need to earn 60k to have 45k after tax.

Some folk are never happy. Generous maintenance generous benefits and still complaining.

@Ritasueandbobtoo9 Do keep up, he’s paying £1,000.The state has always supported single parents.It’s hypocritical people now complaining about the benefit system, (when it’s actually the elderly people of today, who have and still are claiming benefits) it’s been around for many decades, why the anger now?

This.

So if she was working she'd need to earn around 58k to have the same take home cash.

@Jackiepumpkinhead well the £18k a year she's giving the landlord is generous, isn't it so of course the generous benefits system is having to cover it.

OP earns £1500 per month and has another grand a month in child maintenance. That should be enough for her and the children to live on. But unfortunately, housing costs are so ridiculously high, the state is having to help out.

If housing costs were reasonable, OP wouldn't need to claim benefits.

I'm in a similar position, I earn more but without anywhere near as much child maintenance. I hate having to claim benefits despite working full time in a professional job. I rationalise it by considering that actually, it's my landlord claiming it under my name. My benefit top up is solely spent on rent. I still can't afford holidays. Everytime I progress in my career and get a pay rise, the rent goes up! I'll most likely be claiming benefits until retirement unless housing costs become more in line with people's income.

The state prop up extortionate rents and that's just the way it is.

is shocking how much tax goes into private landlords hands

I once had hope that things would turn around and we could all live better lives, but we're essentially fucked and getting more ficked as the days go by.

The result of this is women in good jobs stuck in shit relationships because they can't afford to leave.
Women who leave get fucked by the cost of living and men who absolve themselves of parental responsibilities- financial or physical.

A government and press who encourage us to hate and tear each other apart.
Angry women who for one reason or another will rip another to shred - your salary is high, shut up and go away. You receive benefits - shut up and go away. Your ex pays CS - shit up and go away. You're lucky your husband helps with the house/children/finances- shut up and go away. Your family helps with childcare- shut up and go away.

On and on it fucking goes and it's so tiresome. No-one is allowed an outlet, even on an anonymous forum, because some children are learning to swim 🤦🏾‍♀️.

She is working🙄 as @PerkyGreenCat has just posted, £18 is going to a private landlord.Read her post, she’s working in a professional career, but having to claim benefits.

Ditto.

Well said.

Which proves the benefits system is not fit for purpose

Great response 👍🏻

I’m a single parent to four, only 3 at home now. I have £43k coming in and I feel the same. We have a holiday booked in October and it’s meant cutting out literally everything in the meantime. Like everything, restricting how often I use the car, reducing what I’m eating, no meals out with friends, no day trips with the kids.

I’m not near London, I’m in the East but my rent is still £15,600/year. Another almost £3k for council tax.

Probably naive but I really thought that when I got to this level of earning I’d be able to live comfortably, not extravagantly but comfortably.

It’s because there are children involved and rents are so high.
But of course it’s far easier to jump on that bandwagon

Glad you think so. 😊

Either he he needs to pay £300 more per week or rent controls need to be in place or she needs to work more, another 15 hours in a £20 job. I don’t see why I have to work full time to get really shitty public services so that someone can “fit their hours around school time”! I am up at 6:30 every day, the local school is in special measures largely due to to lack of funding and the people I care for end up without care/in a terrible hospital because there isn’t enough money. I have people in my team who are at breaking point as they are doing too much with too little and equally I can’t get perfectly fit people with teenage kids to work a full week because it would mess with their universal credit. The system is fucked.

The last sentence is correct but not in the way you think.

I hear you OP, am in Surrey and can’t relocate at present time, it’s horrendously expensive and I’ve always been a single parent with mortgage working full time, have just hit 66 so state pension will kick in but still can’t afford to retire

So basic.

Well it the reality though isn’t? You are delusional if you think we can go like this.

I feel you. I earn 67k, 2 kids, renting a flat , £1400 a month. I am moving next year back up north when youngest goes to uni. I am not struggling as such, but I am certainly not rolling in it. I always thought my salary was good, but not down south when a single household income.