School won’t/can’t do anything about SEN child causing distress

[Rantypanties]

I had a phone call from my child’s primary school stating that the SEN child in their class touched them & another child ‘over their clothes in their private area’. This is the 3rd incident of this nature happen in the class (first 2 were ‘tickling in that area’) and the 4th time something serious has happened that has involved him being sent home. It’s never witnessed by the teachers or his 121 assistant (but bullying at the school never seems to be so it’s not just this child).

The child is a lot taller and bigger than the children and although they’ve grown up with him for the past 3 years and they’ve all muddled along with no problems, there are now occasions where children have been scared of him chasing them/hitting out and shouting in class.

He has got a place at a local SEN school but apparently the LA won’t fund the transport for the 26 mile round trip so he can’t go according to his mum (they can’t afford the petrol and the dad’s banned from driving).

So my question is what can we do with a reluctant school? Can we, as parents, put the pressure on the LA to get his transport fully funded so this child can get the best out of his schooling and move to a school more suited to his needs. The school are keen to downplay the incident and I’ve seen the child is back in school today so I’m not sure what lesson has been learnt here, but they obviously cannot cope if he’s being left long enough to touch other children inappropriately and scare children into not wanting to play outside because he’s out there.

Just looking for advice because it seems to me this is escalating and something needs to be done for the safety of all of children in the class.

In the first instance I would email the school and ask for a meeting with teacher and DSL to ask them what they’re putting into place to prevent your child from being sexually assualted again. Tell them this is a formal complaint and you want to ensure they record it as such. If you’re not happy with their response follow the schools formal complaint system.

How old are the children?

If the child has a place at a specialist school, he must have an EHCP, so I don’t understand why transport isn’t funded. If it’s deemed that it’s the most suitable placement, then it should be.

Id also do what @Organisedwannabe said.

I would raise this as a safeguarding concern and ask to speak to the designated safeguarding lead. And say that they need to explain how this will be prevented or you will be raising it with the local council social services and/or Ofsted.

I don’t think you can do anything to make the LA fund transport.

You need to contact the school and ask then what they are doing to safeguard YOUR child
You have no idea what's going on behind the scenes with the child with SEN and tbh it's none of your business
However the safety of your child is your business, and school need to do something to keep all the children safe ,minimising and hiding behind the child's disability is helping no one.

Focus on the safety of your child. I can't believe that they are so blasé about sexual touching. Contact the school DSL immediately. Escalate to governors and local authority if you are not satisfied that the school have dealt with it i.e. that the child can no longer be alone with others.

Also, don't go along with their minimising the issue with this "private area" nonsense. Be explicit. They touched/grabbed/squeezed/whatever my DC's penis/vagina/whatever

I have been in this position but from the other side. The school must do a risk assessment on this child. Then when they have identified the risks put plans in place to mitigate them. Clearly they need to be supervised at all times by a member of staff to mitigate the risk they clearly pose to pupils.

it’s not insurmountable but the just can’t be arsed to do it.

my guess is that the local authority won’t put transport in place because they are arguing that it is parental preference but it is abundantly clear that his current school cannot meet his needs and his attendance there is having an adverse affect on other pupils.

School govenor here...

Report this as a complaint in writing using the complaints policy which should be on the school website. This is important as you cannot take things further until you do this.

Focus the complaint on your child.

• Your child has been inappropriately touched on 3 occasions.
• Child is now frightened to be in certain places in school.
• Response from school in protecting your child is inadequate and will likely result in further assaults. Therefore your child is not safe in school.

In terms of what you want as a resolution

• Your child to feel safe in school and for this not to interrupt their learning including social time in school. (I.e. the response is not separating your child from their peers).
• A meeting with the DSL (Designated safeguarding lead) where the risk assessments pertaining to keeping your child safe in all parts of school - specifically following these incidents - are shared.

There should be 3 stages to the complaint process. Initially you will get written responses from school or maybe a meeting. Hopefully these will resolve the issue adequately. The third takes it to governors. Then you take to OFSted. Ofsted will just throw it back to school if you cannot show you have followed the schools complaint process.

By doing this you are actually helping the 'problem' child and the school as this complaint will form part of the schools assessment that the school is not the right placement for the child and thus push the LA to act.

If you are connected to the other victims- for example if they are your child's bf - encourage them to follow the same process. However do not turn it into a witch hunt as this gives reason for the school to ignore/ dismiss it (as something overblown by parents winding each other up!)

The fact he has a special school place implies the school is doing something given these are like hens' teeth. You won't know everything going on. It's very difficult to legally exclude a child with an EHCP so that is probably why he was in school the next day. The advice from the school governor above is good and explains the process to follow.

Do exactly as @LittleOwl153 recommends, step by step. And keep a written log of incidents/times/dates.

Hopefully the mum is taking it to tribunal.

You are completely clueless. Do you think parents want a school 26miles away. And do you think it's that easy to move?

What happens if the school place collapses within 6 months?

Councils are literally being bankrupted by this kind of stuff. There isn’t the money.

Yeah, that’s the reason. 🙄

Useless parents? I don’t know what world you’re living in but for the rest of us it’s actually not always that easy just to click our fingers and move house.

The dad has a driving ban, so I am guessing these are not upstanding citizens.

What little owl said

Hopefully the mum is taking it to tribunal.

^

Can you expand on this? Can you take it to tribunal? What would change?

what a nasty title to suggest the the "Sen child is causing distress". The child and the family are clearly let down by school and the funding games of the local authority. There is nothing you can do to push for funding for the other child's transport.

I would speak to school to raise how the issue is affecting your child and what school is putting in place to ensure your child is protected.

Don't be angry with the disabled child or their family. Families like that are being let down left right and centre and have one fight after another. Trust me, they are probably going through a very difficult time.

But focus in the school complaint about your DC..

Then maybe they should spend a bit of money providing suitable SEN education in their own borough?

I would teach your child that if anyone - child or adult - tickles or touches them on the penis, vagina or puts hands under their clothes in any place, or raises my dc’s skirt or pulls down my dc’s trousers: then dc should SHOVE the person as hard as they can and then scream and scream and scream and scream and DON’T stop until a trusted adult arrives.

I wish someone had told me that as a child.

It is not okay for the school to minimise this and a very extreme reaction by your dc might save them from several years of escalating SA.

If this is the nearest school who can meet need, the LA must provide transport. Going twice a day there is over 100 miles. How many parents do you think can afford this especially if they are also in employment .I guess you don't have to do 100 miles per day on school runs???

also, are you saying that disabled children are bankrupting councils???

I hear ya. It happened to me too with a grandparent when I was a young child. My mother left me alone with him knowing he was a bit innappropriate.

I don't see how it's a nasty title. It's just factual. Just because it's not the SEN child's fault, doesn't mean they're not causing distress with their behaviour.

How would that work?
You realise that having a child in a special school isn't necessarily a parents choice, they are there because uts the only school thst can meet the child's needs ,it's not like the parent can send them to the nearest school
My sons special school is only a few miles away buy in some cases in can be an hour + drive away ,
How would parents get siblings to mainstream at the same time?

what a nasty title to suggest the the "Sen child is causing distress".

It seems there's no suggesting..
It's fact....he's not causing them to jump around feeling joyous.

I expect many adults would also feel distressed at being grabbed by their private parts.

If this particular DC kept their hands off of other DC's body parts then there would be no need for the OP to start this thread.