School won’t/can’t do anything about SEN child causing distress

[Rantypanties]

I had a phone call from my child’s primary school stating that the SEN child in their class touched them & another child ‘over their clothes in their private area’. This is the 3rd incident of this nature happen in the class (first 2 were ‘tickling in that area’) and the 4th time something serious has happened that has involved him being sent home. It’s never witnessed by the teachers or his 121 assistant (but bullying at the school never seems to be so it’s not just this child).

The child is a lot taller and bigger than the children and although they’ve grown up with him for the past 3 years and they’ve all muddled along with no problems, there are now occasions where children have been scared of him chasing them/hitting out and shouting in class.

He has got a place at a local SEN school but apparently the LA won’t fund the transport for the 26 mile round trip so he can’t go according to his mum (they can’t afford the petrol and the dad’s banned from driving).

So my question is what can we do with a reluctant school? Can we, as parents, put the pressure on the LA to get his transport fully funded so this child can get the best out of his schooling and move to a school more suited to his needs. The school are keen to downplay the incident and I’ve seen the child is back in school today so I’m not sure what lesson has been learnt here, but they obviously cannot cope if he’s being left long enough to touch other children inappropriately and scare children into not wanting to play outside because he’s out there.

Just looking for advice because it seems to me this is escalating and something needs to be done for the safety of all of children in the class.

It's really not hard to work out from my post. Adequate funding for SEN education so children can be in appropriate settings and LAs aren't forced to choose which vulnerable people to underfund.

Unlike the majority we are thinking clearly which is that the safeguarding of the assaulted children has to come first. The kid with SEN deserves to be in an environment that can cater to his needs, but if that cannot be guaranteed without harm to others, then he needs to be kept away for safeguarding reasons. This really shouldn’t be controversial.

Smashing I am in the Caribbean for half term.

Sorry this is daft - of course it's sexual assault - comparing a toddler to a 7/8 year old who knows privates are privates is not comparing the same thing

Can you contact a sexual assault charity and ask advice.

I have Sen - my kids have Sen and while I have outmost sympathy for the other family I really urge you to only think of your own child. A sexual assault on me as a child really affected the rest of my life especially around a fear of males which I unfortunately then passed on to my daughter. children are like sponges - things that happen to them have so much impact on their mental health.

When my friend's son made inappropriate comments at a scout camp at the age of 8 they were investigated by social services to make sure he was not being abused - I would also contact social services to make sure they are aware of the repeated offences

I would follow little owls advice. But I just wanted to add my kids were at school with two sen siblings that physically assaulted kids and one of them sexually assaulted a child in the toilets. Nothing was done. All the parents told their kids that if one of the kids came within arms reach to scream. Get attention before anything can happen.
Unfortunately if nothing is done about it, you have to arm your child with the ability to protect themselves.
You need to keep complaining to the school and go to the education department too.
If this has happened to any other children get the parents to all report the incidents to the safeguarding officer not at the school, but the one you report suspected abuse to. Get as many outside authorities involved as possible.

It's a 7/8 year old with the cognitive ability of a two year old ,some kids really do have such severe learning disabilities, my son is 14 and functions at around 2/3 years of age
He's always been at a special school but not all kids are as lucky.

It’s highly unusual for a child with the ability of a 2 year old (how does the op know?) to still be in a mainstream school at age 7/8. We still have Sen schools here and this child would have been in one much earlier. With transport. We have transport officers who sort the complex transport arrangements as dc have transport to mainstream schools too. As many rural dc cannot walk to school and quality for transport.

It’s highly unusual for a child with the ability of a 2 year old (how does the op know?) to still be in a mainstream school at age 7/8.

believe me it's normal these days. There are still Sen schools but nowhere near enough places meaning children with very profound needs find themselves in mainstream. there are no winners.

There is no suggestion that this child's mother, in particular, has abdicated responsibility entirely.

With the best will in the world, if you have a severely disabled child and have to give up work as a result to look after them, your options for taking full responsibility are limited. I don't understand why you close your eyes to that basic fact.

But why assume they aren't prepared to do the very basics of parenting? All you know about this is OP's surmises, and she says the mother is trying her best. She hasn't said anything about the parents' employment, so that part is entirely your own assumption.

Unfortunately currently this is not that unusual. There aren't enough special school places so local authorities are reluctant to grant EHCPs and are regularly naming mainstream schools in EHCPs for children who very clearly should be in special schools. Parents can appeal but it may well be hard for them to find schools with vacancies too, and it currently takes over a year for a SEND appeal to come to a hearing.

The mother said the child is like a two year old
My son is at a special school and always has been since reception he's in year 10 ,in my LA we have four special schools and several autism hubs
But it's very variable across the UK.

It really isn't. Up to a few years ago, the children I taught in a special school had a good chance of being referred from nursery and starting their special school education when they were five. By the time I retired, it was more likely that new pupils would be seven years old. My DD also teaches in a special school and the waiting list there is now three years long.

I have a three year old (and therefore recent experience of toddler behaviours/abilities), so people saying there are kids with the mental age of 2 in mainstream schooling (when their chronological age is 7/8/9) is really eye opening.

So it’s not uncommon that there are kids in mainstream schools who are incontinent (or maybe partially continent), unable to put their jacket/shoes on alone, unable to read or write anything, unable to count past 10-15, unable to use cutlery or even eat without spilling a lot, who’ll wander off if not under 1-2-1 care?

Those are all things that plenty of 2 year olds can’t do, or can’t do reliably.

That’s really a common aspect of primary school in the UK, in 2025?

Not in my LA we have four special schools two primary and two secondary
One primary and secondary school caters for children with moderate to severe learning disabilities and the latter two cater for children with severe to profound learning disabilities, we also have several autism hubs and PRU,s however special education across the UK is very variable and I think we are luckier than most in my LA
I will also say that all four special schools have doubled in capacity over the past 10/15 years so there is clearly a need for them.

Yes, my DC's primary (ms) had 2 children in nappies and completely non verbal with very limited self help skills. They usually had 1:1 support. That was a few years back and I know that the situation has not improved. Now, there are more than a handful of DC with this profile.

And with labour being hellbent of increasing mainstream inclusion and clamping down on specialist provision, it's not going to get better. I thank my lucky starts that my DC are older and we don't have too many years left fighting this system.

It's not even inclusion and it's certainly not in the best interests of the disabled children
Children with my sons needs would be at best be being babysat in mainstream and learning very little ,they maybe in the same building but they are certainly not being in included
In my sons special school he's fully included in his school and takes part in all the activities they have some amazing facilities, he gets taken to the schools hydro pool at least once a day to help him regulate himself they cater to him and his very particular needs he is in a class with about five other kids and had high ratio of staff..

@x2boys that's what I always say. It's exclusion in the name of inclusion. It was eye opening when my DC went from mainstream in primary to specialist secondary. For the first time, DC was part of the class, was included and finally made friends. The inclusion primary time was brutal. we were totally ostracised. Not a single party invite. class mates and parents changing to the other side of the road when they saw us. Mums at the school gate avoiding me. DC wasn't even a badly behaved child. Just very shy and very delayed with everything. Never harmed a fly but at the receiving end of rather relentless bullying by their non disabled peers.

Parents agitated like mad for dc to be mainstream when I was in this sector 30 years ago. They actively disliked special schools and the big push was for inclusion. Clearly a mistake for many. Some special schools have infant age dc so they don’t all stay in mainstream doing ks1. That would be impossible if functioning as a 2 year old. LAs differ.

In my LA only children with profound and multiple difficulties start special school in reception - that is children with severe physical or medical needs as well as a severe learning disability

Children with a severe learning disability move to special school during or at end of ks2. There is no maintained specialist provision for anyone else including those who have a severe learning disability and challenging behaviour.The local specialist independent does well out of this, so much so that they can pick and choose who they take

Ahh, let's just skirt around the fact that children are being sexually assaulted by this child, and keep it nice and quite 'just because the child has SEN.'

You're one of those parents..

Coming from an autistic ADHD 30 year old with a 4 year old who is the same.

No-one is skirting around that fact. The poster is simply rightly pointing out where the blame lies for this situation, i.e. with the local authority.