School won’t/can’t do anything about SEN child causing distress

[Rantypanties]

I had a phone call from my child’s primary school stating that the SEN child in their class touched them & another child ‘over their clothes in their private area’. This is the 3rd incident of this nature happen in the class (first 2 were ‘tickling in that area’) and the 4th time something serious has happened that has involved him being sent home. It’s never witnessed by the teachers or his 121 assistant (but bullying at the school never seems to be so it’s not just this child).

The child is a lot taller and bigger than the children and although they’ve grown up with him for the past 3 years and they’ve all muddled along with no problems, there are now occasions where children have been scared of him chasing them/hitting out and shouting in class.

He has got a place at a local SEN school but apparently the LA won’t fund the transport for the 26 mile round trip so he can’t go according to his mum (they can’t afford the petrol and the dad’s banned from driving).

So my question is what can we do with a reluctant school? Can we, as parents, put the pressure on the LA to get his transport fully funded so this child can get the best out of his schooling and move to a school more suited to his needs. The school are keen to downplay the incident and I’ve seen the child is back in school today so I’m not sure what lesson has been learnt here, but they obviously cannot cope if he’s being left long enough to touch other children inappropriately and scare children into not wanting to play outside because he’s out there.

Just looking for advice because it seems to me this is escalating and something needs to be done for the safety of all of children in the class.

There's a hell of a lot of speculation in those updates. Even if he was, it's still utterly ridiculous to say the family has to move house just because the council won't provide transport.

They can't do anything because it's not part of their job. A child who is quite young and has no ability to understand?

They aren't going to charge him, or lock him up, how could they?

If anyone were to get involved it would be social services.

You should have posted on the special needs board where you would have got some practical advise on how the school can deal with this situation. Instead of a lot of these hateful comments from people who clearly don’t know anything about the send system. Although you may have needed to word it a bit more kindly.
I’m sorry for your dd but it’s quite ignorant to believe you could have any bearing on the LA. If this child has been given a school place then I assume the parents have had a fight to even get that. They will probably have to go to tribunal to get the transport funded. In the meantime the school need to address this issue asap. They should work with professionals involved with the child, put in strategies to ensure it doesn’t happen again. They should be taking it seriously, they are responsible for keeping your child safe. You are not responsible for overseeing this child getting into a send school.

Because the LA hopes it will get away with it. It's pretty typical LA behaviour all over the country, sadly. That's why I suggested referring the parents to an organisation that can help enforce transport duties.

What has that got to do with the very clear law that the council must provide transport where the child is placed in a school which is more than 3 miles away and it is the nearest suitable school?

Follow advice from the school governor above writing a letter stating the safeguarding policy at them (it will be on school website) ask how they are going to be keeping your child safe. Absolutely demand that this doesn't happen again. They have procedures on how they have to deal with official complaints which is the only way they will take action.
it’s a massive safeguarding issue and this child has sexually assaulted several children he should be expelled regardless of any issues he may have to protect the other children from him.
I personally would make a police complaint and complain to ofstead the county council and anyone who will enforce safety of your child.
Teach her to scream loudly and kick up a fuss for her own safety if he’s near her without supervision.
The child’s issues family/transportation are not your concern at all. And don’t feel sorry for his situation it’s people sympathy that has let this go on this far. His parents could home school or apply for disability money for fuel money to drive him. Or appeal transport decisions he’s a child too I get that but he’s been offered a place in a suitable school which is not going to be open for long they will have 10 kids waiting for that place. Also him being expelled will help sort this out for him.
Every child who he has touched should be offered counselling and all effected parents should all be complaining officially in writing. I’m so sorry this has happened to your little one.
The school is awful letting this continue he should lose his school place as they can’t safeguard others from him. Even when not sexually assaulting he’s intimidating kids which will effect their self esteem eventually constantly being scared.
My child had an incident similar in reception we wrote a letter and had a meeting with safeguarding lead they didn’t resolve it properly in my opinion. They didn’t watch child at all he was always poking kids bums and talking about willies so we moved schools as they just didn't care. Don’t wait for it to happen again write the letter as your not happy with the situation take it in and ask to see the headmaster.

Even a 30 minute journey (which is unlikely, especially in the morning rush hour) means two hours travel for the parents each day, more if they work in a different direction. When that also has to accommodate school drop-off and collection times, there aren't many jobs that offer enough flexibility to accommodate it.

13 miles in 15 minutes? Even if the whole journey from door to door was on a dual carriageway, they'd not manage that.
My office is 12 miles away, mostly on A roads, then a small amount of town centre. It takes 40 minutes in the morning.

An average drive at getting to school time would be at least that. Plus time to wait at the gates, and see the kid in. Then back home. Then the same to be at school for three in plenty of time for pick up It's going to be a minimum of three hours and almost certainly more. With the parent available to work from maybe 10 until 2.

But yes, the LA has that responsibility, so it's a moot point

I font think driving school buses for the LA for disabled children is the right job for you
Challenging behaviour is very often part and parcel of a child's disability.

The Dad shouldn't have been in receipt of the mobility car if his son is inns permanent residential school.

Do you think the child’s right to education trumps the children’s right to be at school safely and not be sexually abused at school? This is sexual abuse we are talking about here, those poor children should not be in a class with their abused, it is completely inappropriate and the fact it has been able to happen multiple times is awful. There needs to be an investigation into why this has been allowed to happen multiple times but first of all it needs to made sure this can never happen again and the children being abused put first here.

Ok this one's complicated! I worked for Cheshire west council and when I first started I had a route that took me into east Cheshire these were high school mainstream kids in 2016 the policy changed and that last pick up into east was no longer qualified but because the lad was already on I carried on picking him up however he had a sister who no longer qualified but she got a free ride because of her brother by the time he left she was then kicked off the bus basically! Her parents were gobsmacked but a girl in our office explained to me why...those children should of gone to a winsford school but tarporley is a better school..
Then new year I had last pick up nextdoor to another child who's dad had to drive him..they live 100 yds into east Cheshire and don't qualify...I know it's daft but I guess I have to draw the line somewhere...they also never got their bins emptied because they were the only east Cheshire address on that road!

Absolutely not...we had one boy at SE that I loved but he was expelled ..he was obviously quite wild and mum couldn't control him but he was my favourite...I had one route when I first started in 2004 and only recently one of the children has died and it was very sad we still know all the families...one lady has two SN children she's amazing they are both very challenging...I found unfortunately most are single mums as dad has left I had a friend who had a child born with a disability and dad left.... someone told me alot of the time it's because dad's feel they've failed to produce a normal child and can't cope?

We have a SEN child at our school who can be unpredictably violent. Children and staff have been quite seriously assaulted. I started out sympathetic to his parents, the school, the LA and couching my emails in sensitive terms. But I am done now.

I do not fucking care how serious the additional needs of a child are, other children can never ever be expected to tolerate violence or sexual harassment. It is barbaric that adults put vulnerable children in these situations.

When one of the teachers was assaulted, they got union support and took six months off work for stress. But the small kids who share a class with him ... nothing!

I can sympathise with parents struggling with children with behaviour like this, but I will do whatever I need to to keep my child safe, and I no longer give a thought to how that might affect their child. They advocate for their child; I advocate for mine.

Abuse is abuse.

Today's obvious early prize for diving in to answer a poster without bothering to read what they are saying.

Guess what, no, I don't think that. What I think is that the child's right to education trumps the council's wish to save money by evading its legal responsibilities. Other issues apart, education can teach him appropriate social behaviour.

I don’t know why the parents think it is suitable. I know that part’s none of my business

Where another person's behaviour starts to impact on your or you families lives they are making it you business.

You don't have to sit back and let this DC's behaviour affect your DC's schooling, as a parent is our job to look out for our DC's well being, your DC doesn't go to school to be abused by anyone, they're nobody's plaything.

The DC causing this isn't always going to be as young as they are, so you're doing him a favour in bringing to the attention of the school inturn hopefully he'll learn that touching people's private parts is far from acceptable.

Sounds as if those councils are breaking the law, too. The law doesn't allow councils to refuse to provide transport just because their school is in another county. It may well be that the nearest suitable school is just the other side of a boundary, and it would be ridiculous for a council to incur extra expense by insisting on that child attending an in-borough school which is further away from their home.

What are the school doing to safeguard all the children ?
This is all you need to focus on .

There are plenty of warped dicks on here.

It's a bad idea posting about this sort of thing as you attract lots of weirdos trying to get a conversation going about child SA or disability bashing. Posting in AIBU will do this. If weirdos could fly, the AIBU boards would be an airport.

Post on the special needs threads. There are some great MNtters on there that know the law and what the mother should do. It sounds like the LA are abusing their position as this family appear to have social issues so will not fight as other parents would. The LA are breaking the law and taking advantage of them to save money. Yes transport costs a lot of money, but the LA should have options closer to this family. How would parents of nondisabled children accept losing their job or paying £££ for petrol. It's bonkers to suggest the family have to take this on. It is discrimination. OP they need to speak to IPSEA, SOSSEN and their local councillor/MP and complain to the LA. The best way to resolve the situation is to help the family.

I had a son go through this but also have another child that is severely disabled by autism that was stuck in a mainstream for a year whilst we fought for a special school place. It was awful and i ended up on medication. We fough really bloody hard and are still fighting for support even now.

The school were really good with dealing with it, but it takes understanding on both sides. The child should not be in that school and that is not the parents fault, the schools fault and definitely not the child's fault.

Some of the comments on here are nuts. It's very clear people don't understand disability or how the system works and they need to take their rage elsewhere. There is a child in the middle of this.

Exactly this. Other children shouldn't have to suffer because of it.
The parents need to be doing everything in their power to ensure their child is not causing problems for other children at the school. If they're not, then I have zero sympathy for them.
In the case I'm aware of, the parents inability to parent also plays a large part. I do think parenting is an issue in a lot of these cases.

Not necessarily. It's possible that the parents have approached the school and got a place and the LA is refusing to name the school in the EHCP.

"The Dad shouldn't have been in receipt of the mobility car if his son is inns permanent residential school."

The child's family will still be getting the mobility component of the DLA. Whether or not the family can keep the car will be up to motability. Frequently they are entitled to keep it if it is used for visiting the child and during visits home.

What are the school doing to safeguard all the children ?
This is all you need to focus on .

Apparently that's confidential.

The parent isn't at the school ,whilst the child is in school the school need to make sure all children are safe if they6 are not doing thst they are failing in their duty of care.

It's not confidential tibtell you how theu will safeguard your child
Obviously theu can't discuss the disabled child with you
But they can and should tell you how they will keep your child safe.