School won’t/can’t do anything about SEN child causing distress

[Rantypanties]

I had a phone call from my child’s primary school stating that the SEN child in their class touched them & another child ‘over their clothes in their private area’. This is the 3rd incident of this nature happen in the class (first 2 were ‘tickling in that area’) and the 4th time something serious has happened that has involved him being sent home. It’s never witnessed by the teachers or his 121 assistant (but bullying at the school never seems to be so it’s not just this child).

The child is a lot taller and bigger than the children and although they’ve grown up with him for the past 3 years and they’ve all muddled along with no problems, there are now occasions where children have been scared of him chasing them/hitting out and shouting in class.

He has got a place at a local SEN school but apparently the LA won’t fund the transport for the 26 mile round trip so he can’t go according to his mum (they can’t afford the petrol and the dad’s banned from driving).

So my question is what can we do with a reluctant school? Can we, as parents, put the pressure on the LA to get his transport fully funded so this child can get the best out of his schooling and move to a school more suited to his needs. The school are keen to downplay the incident and I’ve seen the child is back in school today so I’m not sure what lesson has been learnt here, but they obviously cannot cope if he’s being left long enough to touch other children inappropriately and scare children into not wanting to play outside because he’s out there.

Just looking for advice because it seems to me this is escalating and something needs to be done for the safety of all of children in the class.

Absolutely. People on MN always look for an innocent explanation for everything. As you say, driving bans aren’t handed out easily and are generally for drunk/drug driving, dangerous driving, breaking the limit significantly and repeatedly.

Useless was the right thought all along.

That is just a guess though isn't it? You don't live in their home.

Honestly, just step away. You are no use to anyone in here with those ignorant comments, and you are making yourself look clueless.

My child being safe at school is a hill I’m willing to die on. I would be

• arranging a safeguarding meeting with the class and headteacher
• reporting to school governors
• if unsatisfied with the actions from the above I would report to OFSTED and I would advise the school that I’m considering reporting to the police

I couldn’t care what special needs another child has. I would not tolerate my child being sexually assaulted in a school setting

@LittleOwl153 - this response basically says it all!

As a parent who had a child that was harassed by a boy that also had SEN, I put it in writing, in an email to the headteacher. Prior, I spoke to the class teacher, the boys parent and the boys TA, and nothing was done - the situation got worse and my daughter did not want to go to school - she was absolutely miserable!

I used the word harassment in my email - the boy would pull my dds jumper off her, chase her, make kissy noises, go right up to her, touch her hair. And the teachers said that “she was dealing with it well” - no she wasn’t - she was crying every day!

Put the words sexual assault (or whatever describes the act) in the email. And tell them exactly how you want this to be solved for your child. In my case I told them that I do not want them in the same class. Sadly my dd had to be the one that moved classes. I actually also seemed help from charities and friends that deal with family members with SEN - and every single one of them said that the boys behaviour was absolutely wrong, and that there is a very clear difference between a melt down and harassment. I also highlighted this in my email to show that I’d really thought about it (and I had - I was so worried that I’d look like the bad guy).

It’s not as clear what you can ask for. I’m not sure if they can move your dd, but it seems like this child is actually harmful to other children. They may offer to have sessions that teach children about personal space and no touching etc - not sure. The school protected the boy more than my dd, so it was important that I had solutions that involved my dd (for instance they wouldn’t move his class, but they would move her. They even moved her to the front of the class so that he could continue staring at her as he “liked” her, but at least she couldn’t see it - and according to the school that was a fair solution).

Good luck and I hope it’s solved. It’s such a hard fight, but I do hope all children get the best outcome.

If it’s not solved by the head teacher then I would raise it with the governors.

Oh and if you’ve spoke to teacher about it, add that in an email - include as many time stamps as you can remember.

Refer the parents to SENTAS - https://sentas.co.uk. It sounds like the local authority is acting unlawfully in refusing transport.

How dare you claim the parents of this disabled child are "useless"? You know nothing about them and the strains of looking after a seriously neurodiverse child.. Why should the parents be forced to move house, potentially moving away from their work and other local networks, just for the crime of having a disabled child and because a local authority doesn't want to comply with its legal duties?

The tribunal doesn't have jurisdiction over school transport issues.

This. Especially the last paragraph. Could not give one shit.

And yet they find the money to defend tribunals which they lose 97% of the time.

The truth is that most local authorities mismanage school transport in a big way. I suspect that if they just brought it in house rather than letting taxi companies charge whatever they like, they could save a fortune.

Look at the OPs recent updates. The father is indeed a waster.

Even if the parents could drive this child to school, they shouldn't have to drive over 100 miles a day when the council has a statutory duty to take the child. When you were feeling all superior about these feckless parents not taking their child to school, did you stop to think about factors like that?

You clearly don't know all the facts. Local authorities do not provide transport if there is a nearer suitable school that the children could attend. The mere fact that it is a grammar school does not mean they are entitled to transport. It may be that it is in some way paid for by the school.

Benefits are intended for providing for the expenses caused by the disability, e.g. paying carers if needed at home, transport for medical treatment, buying specialist equipment, aids and adapted clothes etc, adaptations to the house, specialist food. They are not intended for transport, because councils get money to enable them to provide school transport. Why should a disabled child have to go without things they desperately need just because they have been placed in a school 26 miles away?

Why should the parents fund travel costs when the law says that local authorities should do so? What if the parents can't? Has it ever crossed your mind that having a disabled child incurs a whole lot of unexpected expenses that I'm sure you've never thought of?

Thank you @theprincessthepea that's a really helpful post and I have very similar feelings to what you’ve expressed. I don’t want to be seen as wanting this child out of school just because of SEN but our children are being hurt and it’s not the right place for the child. I’d hate for the children to not enjoy school because of this- we’ve got another 3 years if something isn’t done!

If the law is so clean cut about the LA providing transport, do you care to hazard a guess as to why it’s not being granted in this case?

I really don't understand why you let the LA off the hook when the duty to provide transport is placed fairly and squarely with them. Why do you automatically blame the parents? You don't even know if they do get benefits.

The father is currently driving while uninsured, in an untaxed, illegal vehicle according to OP.
They live in a Village where things like this are almost always known.
He is also violent to the mother.
He isn't a fine, upstanding citizen or a good parent.

If he kills someone due to his {intoxicated?} dangerous driving, speeding in his uninsured vehicle, it could be someone like you or an innocent child who suffers.

It's a 26 mile round trip. Surely that's just over 50 miles a day. That's shorter than a lot of commutes.

Good grief. So now not only does the child not get to the school which all concerned have decided is suitable for him, he is now to be deprived of his right to education. Not only is that a right he has under UK law, it is a human right. Why should he be collateral damage because the LA doesn't fancy complying with the law?

Sexual abuse taints childhood.
It affects adulthood as well, your children deserve not to be abused by this boy, and he in turn deserves not to be abused {where did he learn this sexualised behaviour - children not exposed to it don't at age 7 start being inappropriate with other children.

You'd go round and give the parents of a disabled child a mouthful for the crime of having a disabled child who the local authority won't place in a suitable school and who was not being supervised adequately by his current school? Why wouldn't you be knocking on the door of the council's school transport department?

Except that the poster said both parents were useless. How does that make the mother useless?

Why on earth would the parents have to quit working? It's a 26 mile round trip - my commute to college was 23 miles one way and it took 30 minutes. It could be similar here depending on roads. Do you really think no other parents are doing a 15 min drive to school then a 15 min drive home?

The dad got himself banned from driving. I think calling him useless is pretty mild.