Did I handle this situation wrongly? Man at train station

[Allthewayinbatterycity]

I was in the waiting room at a busy station and a lad who looked to be in his early 20s was standing at the door with his hands down the front of his trousers. I looked to make sure it wasn't pockets but it definitely wasn't.

I am just a bit fed up of what I've seen recently from predominantly men on public transport. Loud sniffing/snorting every 2 seconds, farting, burping, spitting. Most are not like this but it's hard to take the train these days without any of the above.

Anyway I said to the man quietly, why do you have your hands down your trousers in a public area, that's disgusting.
With hindsight I should've just reported him to the train staff. He started shouting at me and I just walked off. But as I say I maybe should've just reported it.

Also the intimidation from football fans. Not saying people shouldn't have fun or should be silent but it's bellowing football chants out at top note, shouting and shrieking and just disturbing other passengers.

It's not technically illegal to have a hand down your trousers not sure what you would be reporting him for. So all you can do is make a comment which you did

I'd have asked him if he was checking it was still there.

It's gross isn't it. Why aren't they embarrassed to be fiddling with their penises in public?!

Well done for saying something, what did he shout back?

I usually just look at them ina disgusted sort of way

Really? I wasn't aware tbh I thought it would come under some sort of indecency. I guess he wasn't directly exposing anything, but I have seen this a few times now and it's just revolting.

If it's a match day it's par for the cause. I don't see the problem.

Reported him for what exactly? It seems to be a thing these days, young men often stand with their hands down their trousers. Assuming they aren't doing anything else then they aren't technically doing anythng wrong.

You def should have reported him to train staff. I had a drunk man get his penis out in front of me on a train a few years ago. I regret not reporting it now.

Men should be pulled up for behaviour that's meant to intimidate women. But as a woman, it's risky to do so!
Hopefully he'll think twice about doing it again.

He just started shouting something like you're not right in the head and something incoherent. I just swiftly walked off for my train. I don't see women fiddling like that in public.

I think you did the right thing. 40 years ago everyone would have yelled at him and some bloke would have punched him. Social media has made us afraid to call out inappropriate behaviour in case we get called Karen. I fully understand this man may have learning difficulties, but in that case he should have been with a care assistant who could have supervised his behaviour

I get if it's a match day. But why should that come above the comfort of other passengers. I have had men chanting for the entire train journey, seats and tables strewn with rubbish, intimidating behaviour from drunk men.

I think op meant that the lad said she wasn't right in the head, not him

Sorry yes I meant he was calling me 'wrong in the head'

I find that people who don’t have enough decency to behave themselves in public don’t respond well to being called out.

Wow. This is uncalled for

To be honest OP, rightly or wrongly, I couldn’t have cared less if he had his hands down his trousers - I’d have looked away and let him carry on - as I say, rightly or wrongly

It's not indecent unless there's something else making it so (eg pleasuring himself). Just placing a hand under an item of clothing isn't, in itself, an indent act.

Back in the day schools and parents used to teach boys to "get your hands out of your pockets" (stop playing with yourself through the pocket lining). They don't do that anymore. So this is the result. I saw a man doing it at the weekend and I can't get the image out of my head. Some are just gormless but others are clearly playing with themselves in plain sight and we're all being trained to accept it. Good on you for saying something OP.

I think if you confront someone you need to be prepared to be confronted back. You aren't in control of the situation as they could be high, drunk, have a mental illness or carrying a weapon.

I would always recommend reporting to someone if you can.

As long as they're not shouting at you or being personally abusive there's not much you can do about that either.

I mean i don't know if he was 'pleasuring himself' or not, but it's just not decent, however next time maybe I should refrain from commenting.

So were you on your own with him in this waiting room?

I only ever see men under 30 doing this, usually teens. In joggers. The same demographic that are voting reform and following Andrew Tate. I weep for my daughters