Did I handle this situation wrongly? Man at train station

[Allthewayinbatterycity]

I was in the waiting room at a busy station and a lad who looked to be in his early 20s was standing at the door with his hands down the front of his trousers. I looked to make sure it wasn't pockets but it definitely wasn't.

I am just a bit fed up of what I've seen recently from predominantly men on public transport. Loud sniffing/snorting every 2 seconds, farting, burping, spitting. Most are not like this but it's hard to take the train these days without any of the above.

Anyway I said to the man quietly, why do you have your hands down your trousers in a public area, that's disgusting.
With hindsight I should've just reported him to the train staff. He started shouting at me and I just walked off. But as I say I maybe should've just reported it.

It’s grim isn’t it. It’s like they prefer their tracksuits so they have easy access. Touching everything with their willy fingers. It’s truly grim isn’t it

Thank god. I was wondering if it was just me thinking this.

Why are people defending this disgusting behaviour exactly?
It's revolting - why is it often smelly grey joggers they are wearing too?
Do you ever see a woman with her hands down her trousers?

there are A LOT of gross things people can do, and actually do, in public and too close to me.

It doesn't mean they are not allowed to, or that there's anything I can do about it.

Even someone breathing too loudly bothers me. 😂

If you were uncomfortable with him with his hands down his pants, fair play to you for saying something. It is gross. I wouldn't have said anything myself but certainly commend you for saying something.

The football fans however, singing on trains on the way to the games is generally a group of people in good spirits going to do something collectively that they enjoy. Being annoyed at that just makes you a bit of a killjoy I think.

What if the train conductor were doing it and then touching your tickets with the same hands?

Maybe I am a killjoy about the singing but some of them leave the tables and seats strewn with rubbish. They can also be quite intimidating, shouting and swearing on the train.

Bit of a leap, OP.

one of my kids loves to murder what used to be called music by blowing loudly in his toy trumpet.

Would anyone annoyed by the noise in public be a killjoy too?

It is always grey joggers indeed

It's grim, but it's perfectly legal, and very common among young men. The OP has absolutely no right to start squaring up to strangers over something so innocous. If she's so offended by where a stranger puts their hands she can avert her eyes.

I’d ignore it, or move away if I thought it was in some way sexual. I’d certainly not comment or use language like ‘disgusting’, that’s asking for an aggressive response.

I agree with hindsight it was risky to confront him. I'm just fed up of seeing this.

If I went to sit on a busy tube with my hand down my jeans in front of everyone it would raise eyebrows.

You did the right thing.
There’s a few MRA apologists hanging around MN at the moment (probably with their hands in their joggers).

Isn't the "fashion" aspect because they want to look as though they're carrying a gun or knife i.e. they're trying to look intimidating? Although, if you ask me, it's a massive H&S risk to have a weapon in that close proximity to your willy.

I don't mind the football fans on the way to the game when they're still sober and just in good spirits having a good time. It's the way back when they're all drunk and loud and all common sense goes out the window. I used to commute to work on a train line that was packed with fans and would get stuck on the way back with a load of men who stink of booze and shout inappropriate slurs. Once the train was packed and a guy stood with his crotch right against my backside. If I had moved, it would be some other guys crotch, but he could have moved an inch to the side, or even turned around as his back was against a panel. I remember feeling really upset at the time.

I find the responses on here really weird actually. I think you did the right thing op. I don't want my children seeing this and thinking it's normal.

Embarrass them, say they're gross.

Maybe all the women on here would be too scared to say something. But I think that's why they carry on thinking they can do that.

Noise cancelling headphones are a wonderful thing. :)

Indecency? Unless he was evidently masturbating, it is hard to make the call. Some youths do put their hands down their trousers, it seems to be more certain minorities than others mind. But it isn't them wanking in public, probably some childhood development issues.

YANBU OP, that’s disgusting. Why is it ok for this kind of behaviour to be acceptable?
Generally men aren’t safe to confront however, you’re never going to get an even slightly reasonable reaction from them, especially if you’re a woman. I’d have felt inner revulsion and just left the waiting room.

It's weird isn't it... honestly I think it is just the mindless boy thing. Also I think probably worth a report rather than confrontation. Sometimes youths are hiding/holding a knife down their trouser leg 🤷‍♀️ it must be awful to be so scared of society that that's what they feel they need to do. I think some of the aggression/noisyness is also probably fear. Theykind of dominate an environment to prove they are the scary one. I also find noise and noisy people incredibly annoying. I assume it's me being an introvert and just try to get away from it all. Loud people is going to be loud.

Definitely scared, and for good reason. There’s no shame in that.

My impression is that these kinds of large groups of men shouting football chants are aware of and enjoying the fact that they are disturbing and maybe intimidating people. That they're going to the football is just an excuse for lairy behaviour, IMO.
And yes, I think the same about lairy hen groups.

Good for you, OP. I would have said something very loudly to him so that everyone looked. It's the fact that everyone's too scared to say anything that encourages them to keep on doing it. It's not acceptable behaviour in a public place, full stop.

I agree.

Or report to BT Police if they have an office on the station.