To not want to stroke his back every night

[Achyarms]

Any time I watch tv (after putting two very small children to bed) my husband comes in and perches on the sofa and indicates I need to scratch/ stroke/ tickle his back. If I have energy I will do it for a while. If I ever say no I’m tired he’s gets grumpy/ angry.
if I say yes, then whenever I stop because my arm is tired (say about 10-15 minutes) he immediately gets angry and demands I keep going. He won’t stop asking. Sometimes I have to leave the room and go to bed to get away from him saying keep going over and over again.
i don’t think I’m being unreasonable but maybe I’m not being very loving? I don’t know what other people would do?
makes me want to not give any back tickles it never ends well he’s always pissed off. I’m tired I just want to watch tv and relax.

no he doesn’t give tickles or massages in return and the one time I asked he gave such a shite attempt

I really hate it when people swear at me so I suppose I dont don’t do it to him as it defeats the point I’m trying to make (I might have got pissed off in the past). Just trying to resolve it without making conflict

Get him a back scratcher from the pound shop and put a red bow on it for valentines day. Or
Tell him to grow the fuck up.

He's a grown man, he needs to learn to regulate himself ADHD or not. First you look after the DC then he thinks it's his turn, when's it your time Op

Put him onto some ASMR or something

Just ask yourself, why is he not afraid of causing conflict with you by being such a dick about this? Are you treading on eggshells round him all the time? This really isn’t good. What are his redeeming qualities?

To be fair, I also love a back scratch/tickle. My DH will do mine for a bit if I smile sweetly enough at him. ;) But when he's bored of it I don't pester for more, because a) I'm not 5, and b) I'm not a cat.

You don’t really have anything to “resolve”, you just don’t want to give him the service he wants. Say “no” and move on with your lives.

suppose I swore there a bit, @Achyarms - sorry!

Is this the only utterly unreasonable and demanding thing he does?

My boyfriend loves back tickles, he gets his in the morning and I get mine before we sleep. It’s give and take no?
also excuse me, but he’s getting angry? That’s worrying.

Maybe if he took some of the focus off you and put the kids to bed etc then you might feel like shagging and stroking him OP. Stick up for yourself and set some boundaries. Don't be a doormat.

I have this too... but he doesn't get angry just kind of a bit rejected. Think it's a way of wanting physical attention if not enough sex maybe or just needing closeness. Could be wrong ! Drives me bonkers
Not controlling in any other way here tho !

My cat is less demanding and he drives me nuts at times.

It's his reaction to you setting boundaries that's the issue. Rather than the touching itself. Seriously being tired, not in the mood and also in physical discomfort are more than reasonable boundaries.

How is he with other boundaries of yours?

So interesting to hear

This makes me feel 🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮

Next time he asks, say 'I will do it for 5 minutes and then stop. If you moan/sulk/go on about it/say anything other than thank you that was lovely, it will be the last time I ever do it. And that will be the case from now on.' Then stick to it.

Order him a back scratcher for Valentine's Day?

I think she's married to a dog like ours.

Lol that's what I do when DH wants secs and I can't be bothered..

I'd like to know how these kinds of men have managed to romantically attract women and persuade them to marry him.

Get him a loofah on a stick and send him off to the shower.

He sounds like my sisters old labrador.

OP, contact Women's aid because you are being bullied and abused.
He sounds awful, really awful.

If ever there was a thread campaigning the joy of being single, this wins hands down.

That’s disgusting and he’s trying to control you. Ewwww

And the whole thing of constant touching and forced touching isn’t ok. If you don’t want to it then you don’t have to. Tell him you want him to lick your toes every night. What’s the difference, none.end of the subject. Forcing anyone to do anything is humiliating and shouldn’t be tolerated.