To not want to stroke his back every night

[Achyarms]

Any time I watch tv (after putting two very small children to bed) my husband comes in and perches on the sofa and indicates I need to scratch/ stroke/ tickle his back. If I have energy I will do it for a while. If I ever say no I’m tired he’s gets grumpy/ angry.
if I say yes, then whenever I stop because my arm is tired (say about 10-15 minutes) he immediately gets angry and demands I keep going. He won’t stop asking. Sometimes I have to leave the room and go to bed to get away from him saying keep going over and over again.
i don’t think I’m being unreasonable but maybe I’m not being very loving? I don’t know what other people would do?
makes me want to not give any back tickles it never ends well he’s always pissed off. I’m tired I just want to watch tv and relax.

no he doesn’t give tickles or massages in return and the one time I asked he gave such a shite attempt

he can ask but he needs to respect if if you say no. he can't demand that you do something. so he can't demand sex and he can't demand back-tickles.

have you explained this to him?

OMG sounds like my ADHD child when I am reading her bedtime story and I find that annoying enough, what you describe would be intolerable!

Pahahahaa! Sorry but you don't owe him relentless back tickles because you don't have enough sex.

If I ever say no I’m tired he’s gets grumpy/ angry.
if I say yes, then whenever I stop because my arm is tired (say about 10-15 minutes) he immediately gets angry and demands I keep going. He won’t stop asking.

I’d go so far as to say this is abusive. Is he demanding/controlling with aggression/abusive in other ways?

Buy a really, really heavy weighed blanket.

Up to you whether it's intended to provide sensory stimulation on his back or not to weight something really annoying down.

He sounds like a dick

How comical.
Not.

Let me guess did his mum do it for him growing up? My ex used to be the same, he didn't get angry though but sometimes I would fall asleep doing it and he would get annoyed that we didn't have enough sex which made me not want it even more from the pressure but I adnit I dis go off it after kids. Come to think of it I now have to sometimes massage my son, it's me, I'm the mum too 🙈

My husband is EXACTLY the same. Will come and sit in front of me with his top off or even worse attempt to lie over my legs to get in a better position. It’s relentless and very, very dull.

🤮 how do you put up with it?!

Get him to give you hand or foot massages and get annoyed when he's had enough

Have you married a cat?

Buy him a long soft brush and he can stroke his own back.

🤣🤣🤣

Give an inch take a mile. The only way to stop it is to take it off the table altogether.

Stop doing it. He’s abusing something that should be nice and he’s abusing you as well. Don’t discuss, tell. Inform him you’re done with it and you wont be doing it ever again. End of discussion.

He will sulk. But he sulks every night anyway. You can’t be happy living with someone like this.

You need to say no every single time now so he eventually gets the message and stops asking you. You can tell him you are no longer doing it as it’s not worth the hassle and bad mood he gets in when you stop. He’s an adult, not a baby. Even my 2 year old understands when I have had enough tickling her back and doesn’t get in a strop with me.

Get him a backscratcher and a fleshlight and tell him to fuck off, what a selfish, entitled bully.

Didn't you realise you had a pet dog.

ick !

Have you posted about this before ?

There can’t be two of them.

I would have nether regions drier than the Sahara if I was married to this giant cat man baby. Ick dialed up to 11.

Huh?

I don't know a single woman who asks for back tickles or massages every night. That is something out of an early 2000s sitcom.

Are you okay?

Ugh. I wouldn't want to physically touch someone who behaved like that.
If he needs his back scratched to regulate himself then he needs to get a long handle back scratcher and do it himself.
Absolutely pathetic behaviour from an adult male.
Show him these replies and see what he says!

WTH??? That's so disturbing, does he identify as a dog that needs to be petted? 😂

He does not get to be angry or throw an strop if you don't want to do it, what an idiot.

Ick. You're not his personal toy.

Why would you ever want to have sex with him? He sounds about two years old.

Neurodiversity is a red herring. No means no. He can demand all he likes.